Lost Love
by SaberSeven
Summary: LL has Ben and friends at age 20, all attending the University of Washington Seattle, when a past and very passionate flame returns to burn his heart.I'd appreciate any feed back, thank you everyone.
1. Episode 1: Introductions 1

Lost Love : Introductions Part 1

Ben came down to the kitchen and tossed his backpack on the table. He grabbed a glass and poured himself some orange juice which he gulped down. He grabbed a snack bar, and quickly exited the house. He was in a rush as he had an 8 am class at the university inside the city. This would be his first class at the University of Washington Seattle.

He threw his backpack into the back seat of his gray primered '71 Camaro. He got in and inserted the key which he promptly turned as he pumped the accelerator. The engine attempted to turn over, but finally refused. "Damn!" He tried five more times. "CRAP," he screamed, "Why today?" He had learned to love this car ever since Dino, and he had bought it two years ago. They had loving brought it back to life, while substantially beefing up its performance with a few thousand dollars, and their endless labor. Ben's brother - Sam - had gotten it cheap for them, and it was meant as a peace offering after the disastrous sex situation with Ms. Young. Sam had helped them restore it over numerous months, and over that time Ben was able to forgive his brother. They both understood what Ms. Young's intentions were, and blaming each other did nothing.

He popped the gray primered hood, went into the garage and returned with a small gas can. Once under the hood he took the air-filter lid off, and sloshed some gas on the carburetor. "That should do it," he quickly put everything back, and slammed the hood shut. He jumped in the driver's seat, threw the stick into neutral, and turned the key. The engine barely turned over, but he pumped the accelerator, and the throaty growl of the engine roared. "Sorry mom, and dad, early wake up call today." He quickly pounced on the clutch and threw the shifter into first. Once out of the driveway he screeched the tires, and took off down the road. He looked at his watch, "Sht; why today?

Traffic wasn't too bad, and it was open enough for him to think while he listened to a CD. He thought about how rough the last few years had been. Dino's parents had divorced a year ago, and Dino ended up living with his mother, and his brother. The house simply had more room, and he eventually forgave his mother for the affair. "Mrs. Whitman what were you thinking," he said to himself as he shifted through the gears. Unfortunately the affair between his mother and his hockey coach had damaged Dino. He totally gave up on hockey, and on school. He graduated high school, but barely. Dino wouldn't be attending the university this fall if it wasn't for Ben convincing him to attend North Seattle community college two years ago. His parent's couldn't afford to send Dino to a four year university as a freshman anyway – especially after he gave up hockey. Dino's major at the university was in marketing simply because it sounded good to him.

Ben graduated from high school, but that was a close one as well. Ms. Young had really screwed him up. After her revenge trip involving Sam, that was pretty much it for their relationship. It wasn't long after that Sue found out about their illicit affair, and her father convinced Ms. Young to quietly disappear. Even though Ms. Young did say good bye to him, and let him know she was going to Denver, surprisingly he could not get Monica out of his mind. Every time he saw a yellow VW bug go by he had to see who was driving. He even tried her cell phone a few times, but the service had been canceled. He had lost his motivation for school ever since then, and did the bare minimum required. Ben and Dino's priorities were girls, and partying. He did get involved with Sue, despite her father's objections, in a on again, off again melodrama. It burned hot at first, but fizzled out by the end of his junior year. Last he heard Sue attended Princeton as a freshman two years ago as planned. As time progressed, he thought less, and less about Sue and Ms. Young. His relationship with his parents had soured as his academic performance had tanked. It wasn't till his mother gave up her music, and was diagnosed with depression that he made some positive changes. Ben planned a career in multimedia development similar to his brother.

Jonathan had excelled in high school, and could have attended many fine universities. Unlike Ben, and Dino's parents, Jonathan's parents had the money to send him just about anywhere. He decided to attend North Seattle not only for his buds, but Debra's mother had little money to send her to college. Jonathan and Debra had grown closer over the past four years. Jon's very liberal parents had allowed her to spend many a night in his bedroom. Jonathan had continued with his photography, and planned a career as a photo journalist. Debra's major was in journalism as well.

Ben pulled into one of the campus parking lots, and quickly found a slot. He grabbed his bag, and armed the car's alarm as he walked away. He pulled out a map of the campus he had downloaded from the college's website. "Gerberding Hall, ok where is that? Ok, south side of the campus." He asked a female student for directions, and realized Gerberding Hall was across campus. Ben pulled out his phone as he continued walking at a quick pace. "C'mon Dino answer your damn phone."

Dino was still in bed under the covers as his cell vibrated all over his night table. He groaned as he stretched out his arm, and searched for the phone by touch. Once he found it he pulled it under the covers, "What?"

"You're alive," Ben asked in a cheery voice.

"I'm asleep."

"Don't you have class?"

"No. I told you, Tuesday's, Thursday's, nothing before noon," he replied in an annoyed tone.

"Oh right; the loser's schedule," Ben laughed.

"I'm hanging up now," Dino threatened.

"What time did you get home last night?"

"I don't know; what do you want dude," he asked getting tired of this conversation.

"The apartment, is it a go?"

Dino rolled out from under the covers in just his boxers. "Oh shit," he placed his hand on his head as he felt the severe pain of his hangover.

"What?" Ben continued walking while looking at the beautiful female student body on campus this warm and glorious day.

"Oh my God that hurts," he calmly wined. "I hooked up with some beautiful babe last night after work. Jesus she could drink."

"Oh yeah? Beer?"

"No. Shots of some kind; I can't remember. What was her name now?"

"I don't know how you do it dude."

Dino suddenly felt severally sick to his stomach. "I'll call later," he quickly hung up and ran to the bathroom to vomit.

Ben wasn't going to get into it now as he was finally coming up on Gerberding Hall, a large gothic looking building. He walked into the large lecture hall with numerous students searching for a seat, chatting to friends or on their cell phones. It was organized chaos he thought to himself. He looked down at the lecture podium way down at the bottom of the hall. The hall actually looked somewhat run down, and dirty, or dusty at least. While other parts looked recently upgraded like the large speakers on each side of the structure, or the huge projection screens at the front. Ben noticed a couple empty spaces three rows down the center aisle. He quickly took the seat next to the aisle, and began scanning the hall for girls.

"Oh this is too good to be true," he whispered as he admired the numerous young ladies.

"Excuse me?" Ben turned to the aisle and saw a most beautiful girl. Blond hair with a pink ball cap on, blue eyed, wearing a white short sleeve blouse, and damn did she look fine in those jeans he thought. He was so stunned by her, he forgot to say something. "Excuse me is that seat next to you taken?

Ben soon came out of his village idiot trance, "Oh. No, it's free." Real cool move going gaga he thought.

"Oh great," she quickly sat down and began shuffling through her backpack. "I thought I might have to stand."

"Oh I would have given you my seat."

"Great," she replied in a meek voice and with a disturbed expression. Ben took that for a sign that she wasn't interested - at all. Ben began shuffling through his backpack pulling out a binder, and an English text book. "Oh you've bought the book already?"

"Uh yeah; you know get the used one's before they're gone."

"Damn I should have done that." She stuck her hand out, "Hi, I'm Katie."

"Ben, nice to meet you," he shook her hand as he stared at her full glossy lips. They both became uncomfortable neither knowing what to say next.

"So what year are you; you don't look like a freshman."

"Junior. This is my first day here though; transfer student," he explained.

"I'm a freshman; my first day too. Um, I don't mean to be rude, but why is a junior taking a lower division English course?"

Ben grimaced at that question. "Yeah, lame huh? Well I didn't take high school seriously, and I just flaked out with English at North Seattle."

"You don't like reading," she inquired.

"No, no, as long as it's a shop manual or a Star Wars Scifi novel." He laughed, but she didn't seem to get it. "Ah, anyway this is my only lower division class, and I intend to get an 'A.'."

"Good. I like people who are motivated."

Ben smiled, "You do? Well maybe we can start up a study group Katie?"

She looked up from flipping through her binder. "Yeah, that sounds good."

Ben was blown away that she agreed. Don't end it here he thought be more like Dino. "So how about I get your number," he asked in a sly voice.

She laughed at that knowing exactly what he was doing. "Oh you're real smooth Ben," she responded mockingly. "How about my email?"

"Awesome," he quickly stressed.

Suddenly there was a loud male voice emanating from the speakers. "All right people. Let's cut the noise. Please find a seat if you haven't, and turn your cell phones off, or anything else that makes noise."

Ben looked down at the lecture podium to find a large man in his 60's with glasses, and suspenders on, while holding a microphone. He leaned towards Katie, "Do you know anything about this guy?"

She continued to write down her email while she answered, "Peacemaker? Yeah I looked him up on ReviewUm; he's supposed to be easy. The midterms are take home, and he doesn't collect home work."

"You're serious? Take home midterm? That's like a joke."

"I know I couldn't believe it either. Here write yours down," she handed him a torn piece of paper. "I guess you'll get that 'A' after all." Ben smiled at her comment as he wrote.

"All right everyone, I can't stress this enough," the professor pointed to a piece of paper. "You must sign your signature as well as your NetID, student ID, whatever they are calling it now. If you are not on the roll sheet the first day of class, you're immediately dropped, and those on wait-list get bumped in. Got it? Ok I'm passing out the syllabus, and a few info packets to you. Be patient I think there's 250 students in here."

Ben handed Katie his email address as a student hand him a stack of papers. He took one and passed the stack to Katie which she handed to the next student. He quickly flipped through the syllabus, "You're totally right Katie; take home midterms, unbelievable," he continued to smile as he read the rest.

The professor began to speak again. "Oh yes, some how with all these budget cuts I still wound up with an assistant. She hopes to teach here very soon I believe. Here…," he handed his assistant a stack of papers. "You can pass these out, thanks. Her name is Ms. Young, and please treat her like you would treat me."

Ben hadn't really been listening to Peacemaker, but the Ms. Young statement hit him like a lighting bolt. "No way," he whispered, impossible he thought. He wanted to look up, but he couldn't. He was physically unable to move for several seconds out of pure fear. Ben was surprised at his reaction to the possibility, and sensed his pulse racing. "Ok, pull it together," he closed his eyes and looked up from his paper. He opened his eyes and desperately looked for her. There were several students passing out papers so it was difficult to see through everyone. "Oh shit," he quietly said as he spotted her down by the first row at the bottom.

"Is there something wrong," Katie asked.

"No, no," Ben didn't even look at her. He couldn't take his eyes off Ms. Young. Never in a million years did he think he would see her again. It had only been 30 seconds, but all the old feelings came back like a massive flood washing over him. The good feelings as well as the bad, and he thought he had buried all this away forever. He was overwhelmed with an unbelievable sense of fear, and an equal sense of uncertainty, as he watched her walk up the center aisle with a stack of papers. What was he going to say he contemplated? Did she still have feeling for him? Did he still have feelings for her; he didn't know. Panic stricken he shoved his book and binder in his backpack. "I've got to go Katie."

"What," she asked wondering what the emergency was.

"I'll send you a message, later." He looked back down to see if Ms. Young had spotted him yet. She hadn't as she passed out papers while talking and laughing with students. Ben quickly ran up the stairs jumping two to three at a time. Once outside he paced around trying desperately to make some sense out of this situation. He finally gave up and left as he knew he wasn't going to figure out anything now.

He had to tell some one, but he had two more classes today. He decided to call Dino while he sat in the food court area looking for something to eat. He dialed Dino's number.

Dino was back under the covers after vomiting in the bathroom. He felt much better and was just dosing off when his cell began dancing around on the night stand. "C'mon," he yelled as he stuck his hand out and blindly searched for the vibrating phone. Once he found it he quickly pulled his hand back under the covers and answered, "What?"

"Dino?"

"I'm sleeping," he stated in an annoyed tone.

"I'm sorry, but this is huge dude, I mean massive."

He sighed, "Ah…am I really going to give a shit, I mean really?"

"Yes, I promise. Guess who I ran in to? Forget it you'd never guess," Ben said excitedly. He took a second to calm down. "I saw Ms. Young in English today."

Dino didn't answer, but rolled out of bed, and sat at the edge still in just his boxers. "My head is still pretty polluted man. Did you say Ms. Young," he questioned while he rubbed his left eye.

"Exactly."

"Holy shit. Are you kidding?"

"You know I don't talk about Monica," Ben clarified.

"Well how? Does she teach the class?"

"No, no. It's a professor Peacemaker, but she's some kind of assistant, and she wants to teach here he said.

"What did she say to you," Dino asked excitedly.

"Nothing," Ben cringed as he answered.

"I don't get. The two of you see each other, after what…four years, and neither of you say shit? I mean you two have see each other nude for Christ sake; how could not say something?"

Ben knew he had to tell him what happened. Maybe Dino would understand how tough this was, how shocking the whole situation was. "I panicked, and took off."

"I don't understand. How could she not see you?"

"There's like 250 students in the class."

"So you hid from her?"

Frustrated Ben spilled, "I went into chicken-shit mode a left before the class even started – basically."

"Oh man. Well you have to talk to her. You have to," Dino demanded.

Quietly Ben said, "I don't know what to do right now."

"What about English," Dino questioned. "You basically dropped it."

"Yeah I know."

"Well, take it with me on Tuesday's, Thursday's…starts at noon dude."

"Oh…yeah, ok."

Dino jumped on his computer, and logged on to the university's website. "Give me your student ID." Ben complied, and Dino began registering him. "It's full, but there's only seven wait-listed. They always take ten extra."

"Go for it," Ben commanded. "I've got to get to my next class. I'll see you later today."

Ben finished his classes, arrived at his parent's home at 4:30, and began backing his car into the driveway. Just as he shut the engine down, Dino pulled in revving his older model Kawasaki sports bike, and parked it in the driveway as he shut it down. Dino picked it up cheap with his dad's help, despite his mother's doubts about it, but he needed the very basic transportation since Ben generally kept the Camaro. Not only did Ben have the parking space available, he had put more money into the car.

Ben jumped out of the driver's seat, "Perfect timing dude."

Dino took his helmet off and placed it on the bike's seat. He grinned, "I've got the plugs and points for the car. Get the tools."

Ben opened the garage, and rolled out the tool chest on wheels. "Good, I had trouble starting it this morning. Oh, and the gas gauge, where's the new one? I actually ran out of gas three days ago. Luckily a station was close by"

Dino had already opened the hood and was inspecting the engine. "Oh yeah? It should be here any day now; just keep the tank filled. Why didn't you say something?"

"I've had a few things on my mind," he shook his head as he said it, and looked in on what Dino was doing.

Dino let out an evil laugh, "You mean one thing on your mind dude. And you know it."

With a look of pain on Ben's face he answered, "I know, I know. I still can't believe Monica works at the college. It's like a dream," or a nightmare he thought.

"Please tell me you'll talk to her. Hell I want to know what happened too. Think about me for Christ sake," he grinned as he said it. Ben laughed knowing Dino was somewhat kidding. A car pulled up and slowed in front of the driveway. Ben and Dino both looked back to see that it was Jonathan. He carefully pulled up in his mother's beautiful brand new metallic navy blue S type Jaguar.

Ben's eyes widen, "Crap his mom got new rims on it." They both stood and admired the beautiful machine as they leaned on they're gray primered beast.

Dino explained, "Oh I called him about Ms. Young."

"Already," Ben asked surprised.

Dino continued further, "Well I didn't mention Monica, but I said you had big news."

Ben walked down the short driveway while Dino went back to changing the sparkplugs. "Looking bitch'en man," Ben yelled as he admired the Jaguar. Ben and Jonathan did they're ritualistic hand shake which was short, and understated. "So mommy let you borrow the Jag huh?"

"Yeah. I just picked it up from the shop, cool wheels, huh?"

"Rims dude, rims," Ben said pretending not to be embarrassed by how square Jon was.

"So what's this big news," Jon lightly slapped Ben on his shoulder.

"Oh, yeah," they both turned around and walked towards the light gray Camaro.

"Oh you had classes today," Jonathan questioned. Dino got of the engine to shake Jon's hand. "Dude."

"Dude," Dino responded.

As both Ben and Jonathan watched Dino return to work, Jonathan asked, "So what's this huge news," jokingly he made quotation mark gestures with his hands.

Dino sensed Jon's sarcasm and responded, "I can kick your ass now if you want me to?"

Ben laughed, "Hang on guys. Ok, you'll never believe who I ran into in English today?"

Jonathan thought about it for a second or two, and asked, "Of course Dino already knows? Ben nodded yes. Jon then blurted out, "Ms. Young." Ben and Dino were stunned by his answer. Jon was joking, but quickly noticed their reaction which seemed strange.

Ben looked at Dino, "You told him."

"No…I didn't," Dino answered.

"I'm right? No way," Jonathan asked in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"It's true," Ben acknowledged.

Jonathan leaned against the car to figure out what was just revealed. "This is unbelievable; impossible. What did you say to her? I mean that must have been insane. If I had seen Ms. Young I have no idea what I would say. And we didn't even; well you know."

Dino quietly laughed when he heard that and dropped the socket wrench through the engine compartment to the ground, "Shit!"

Ben felt like such an idiot. "I bailed on the class to avoid her," he answered in a disappointed tone.

Jonathan thought about that, "Really?" He continued to contemplate what had been said. "Well you have to talk to her," Jonathan stated.

Dino got off the engine compartment, "Seven down on more plug to go. Oh, yeah, Jonathan is totally right." He got back to work after Ben handed him the part.

Ben paced in a circle, "I don't know, I just don't…"

Jonathan interrupted, "…it's fate. You have to. Can you imagine the odds of this happening?" Ben just leaned against the fender thinking to himself for a few minutes. Jonathan could see his friend was struggling with this, and gave him some breathing room.

"Oh yeah, the plugs are done, I'll do the points later." Dino got off the car, and slammed the hood down after his friends moved away. "Ah, time to celebrate ladies."

Ben and Jonathan laughed. "Ok so what are we celebrating on a Monday," Ben inquired.

Dino jumped into the driver's seat and inserted the key into the ignition. "Drinks on me at A & J's."

"Where Jonathan," asked.

Ben explained, "It's a pub, or bar and grill close to UW. It's a campus hang out; we've been there once, and they don't check the ID's that closely."

"It doesn't matter with the ID's Sam got us," Dino countered. "Were guaranteed though. Besides I have to go through the classifieds since I quit my job last night."

"What the fuck…," Ben tried to ask him, but Dino fired up the car's engine. He revved the engine.

Ben threw his arms up in disgust as Dino gunned the engine. "What dude I can't hear you." It was only a minute or two when Dino turned the car off.

Ben was waiting, and asked, "What about the apartment dude?"

"I'm still in."

"Yeah I get that, but how are you going to pay?"

Dino jumped up to explain, "Pizza delivery sucks guys. Yeah I know it looks glamorous and all…" Dino couldn't finish as he started laughing at his own lame joke. "I'll get another job…all right." Ben nodded ok. Dino looked at Jon wondering if was he going with them.

"Guys I'd love to go, but I promised Debra I was backing off the alcohol."

"Oh God, my grandmother is less of a wuss than you dude," Dino responded.

"C'mon Jonathan, we'll make it an early night," Ben consoled.

Jon thought about it and remembered it had been a long time since the three of them had partied. Reluctantly he agreed, "Ok, but 9:00 at the latest." Ben and Dino began playfully pounding on Jonathan while cheering.

Dino then raised his hand to show the car keys, "Yeah! I'm driving now because I probably won't be able to later. Ben just shook his head as he put the tools back, and shut the garage door. After Jonathan moved his mother's car, and jumped in the Camaro, Dino lit up the tires and they screeched down the street on their way to A & J's.


	2. Episode 1: Introductions 2

Lost Love : Introductions Part 2

The next morning after a very long night Ben and Dino were a few minutes early for their noon English class. Ben while feeling tired was in ok shape, and began pulling out his book. Dino had his head on his desk trying to get a two or three minute nap in before the teacher arrived. They were lucky to get their seats as there were about 50 students in this class with five or six now standing. It was actually a small class with white floors, white walls, and white blinds against the windows on the right side. Ben noticed on the teacher's desk up front there was a stack of papers students would grab at ever so often. He walked up, and he grabbed two noticing it was the syllabus for this class. He dumped one on Dino's head which woke him up, and they both flipped through them.

"Shit," Ben quietly cried.

"What?"

"I bought the wrong book damn it."

Confused Dino asked, "You already bought the book; why so early? Shit, it still says staff for the instructor dude. Oh well, you're in the class, so I'll be all right," Dino grinned as he put his head back down.

Ben laughed, "Screw you I'm not doing your home work this time."

Dino sat up quickly, "Oh c'mon; I'll pay you this time."

"You don't even have a job," Ben laughed.

"Oh…well I have an interview on campus today."

Ben was surprised, "Really? Here? For what?" Dino muttered something, but Ben couldn't hear him. "Excuse me?"

"Food court dude," he embarrassingly stated. "It's at El Loco Taco"

"Oh good I love Mexican," Ben laughed to himself about Dino's predicament. "Oh man they collect home work in this class." Maybe I won't be getting an 'A' he thought to himself. Ben suddenly noticed the classroom had quieted down, and Dino's eyes were fixated to the front of the class. Ben looked and noticed a petite woman writing on the chalk board, "Oh the instructor is here…"

Dino interrupted, "…no shit dude, look."

Ben looked up front again, and it hit him like a round kick to the face. He recognized that long lush brown hair. That body that he knew so well was clearly identifiable through her business suit attire. He could see in her precise hand writing 'Ms. Young'. Ben's mouth suddenly went dry as his palms began to sweat, and an intense nervousness came over him.

"Hello class. I'm Ms. Young and I'll be your instructor for English 2040 section two. I didn't realize that I would be teaching any courses this semester till three days ago. Professor Sinclair had a family matter to attend to. This class is my first at the college level, so please bear with me." She then picked up a piece of paper and raised it, "I'll be taking roll at the end of class, and I can't stress enough how important it is that you are here the first day." Ms. Young then picked up the syllabus from her desk, "Ok, class schedule." She smiled while talking, and she was really beginning to enjoy herself as she relaxed. As she spoke Ben watched every single move she made in her white blouse, dark blue jacket, and skirt. Could she really be hotter than before Ben wondered? He listened to her beautiful voice carefully analyzing it, but not hearing the individual words as he closed his eyes.

Ms. Young slid backwards on to the front of her desk, and stretched one leg up. Ben actually let out a quiet moan as he watched that. She flipped the page and looked up so satisfied with herself. Then she spotted Ben in the third row center of the room, and their eyes locked on each other. Dino watched this all with amazement, and wondered was every English class back in high school between these two this intense?

Oh my God, what is he doing here she thought to herself. How could she not of seen him earlier? All the feelings she had buried came rushing back to her. She stopped speaking for several seconds, and it was noticeable by several students in the room. The adrenaline was pumping earlier due to it being her first college class. Now her former, 16 year old, ex-lover was sitting twenty feet from her. She had to look down at the paper she was holding to refocus, "Sorry everyone I lost my train of thought."

The lecture seemed to go by in no time for Ben even though Ms. Young didn't make eye contact the rest of the time. "Ok that's it for today," Ms. Young explained. Anyone need to fill out an add card?" Several students raised their hands including Ben which she noted to herself. "They're up here. I'll see everyone else Thursday."

"Dude you have to talk to her," Dino said as he hit Ben in the shoulder.

"Yeah I know," he sighed. He started stuffing his backpack as most of the students began leaving the room.

"Well I'm out of here; I got the interview. I want details later."

"Good luck," Ben waved to him as Dino exited the room. He put his backpack on and walked up to Ms. Young's desk. There were several students filling out add cards.

Ben looked into her lovely eyes as she asked, "You need one?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Are you all right," she questioned as she handed the card to him.

"Yes."

"You look pale."

"No I'm ok." She turned her attention to another student, and Ben filled out the card. All he could think about was what he was going to say. Nothing came to mind though absolutely nothing. He looked up with the card filled out, and handed it to her. He stood there as if he was about to ask her a question, but he couldn't with two female students standing at her desk. He had no idea what to say anyway.

"Was there something else?"

It took him a few seconds, but finally he answered, "No." So disappointed with himself he just left the classroom.

One of the female students giggled, and spoke to Ms. Young, "I think he has a crush on you." Ms. Young was surprised to hear that, and she smiled while blushing. Did this student notice something between them she worried?

Ben slapped himself a half dozen times as he left the building, "What an idiot." What was he so fearful of, and how hard is it to ask how she is? He didn't have any other classes today so he took his time walking back to the car. As he sat in his car he realized he had strong feelings for her, and it hadn't taken much to bring it all back. It wasn't so much love, because he didn't know what he felt, but he had to find out. He quickly searched through his bag, and retrieved the syllabus for her class. "Office hours, office hours," he repeated as he scanned through the papers. The schedule told him that her office hours were right after class Tuesday's, Thursday's for an hour, in room 707 at the Arts and Education building. He looked at his watch which displayed he had forty minutes left. He turned the key and the engine strained to turn over, but didn't. Ben screamed as he punched the passenger's seat with his fist. He quickly calmed down and gave it another try, "Please don't be out of gas, please start…" The car fired up this time, and he gave it plenty of fuel in case it tried to die on him.

Ben soon arrived at the Arts and Education building one of the few buildings that he knew the location of. He ran into the entrance and hit the button for the elevator which opened immediately. Once on the seventh floor he began looking for room 707. As he went around a corner he looked at his watch, "Thirty minutes left." Plenty of time assuming there were no other students already there. He soon came up on a plaque in the hall indicating room 707, and the door was open with a light on. He flexed his fingers, took a deep breath while he closed his eyes, and then finally exhaled. He turned left into the doors threshold and immediately saw her. Her desk was no more than seven feet from the door. She faced the door, but was looking down and writing on papers on the desk. The office was longer than it was wider which was only a few feet wider than her desk. There were two desks behind her so Ben assumed she shared the office with other instructors. There were windows in back that allowed a lot of light in which reflected off the white walls.

Ben just stared at her admiring her beautiful long hair, her gorgeous face, and long eye lashes. After several seconds of nothing Ms. Young sensed a presence and looked up. She knew he would come to her some time, but she didn't expect it to be this soon. Ben was surprised that she really didn't have an expression on her face. He was in such a rush to get to her office he still had nothing to say, and just stared.

Ms. Young subtly looked him up and down. He had matured nicely she thought, and this was definitely no longer a boy. He must be an athlete she thought as she looked at his large biceps, and developed fore arms. She could not stop admiring how well he filled out his jeans while sporting an outdoor look wearing hiking boots. Finally Ms. Young spoke, "Ben Conner? Have a seat." She pointed to a chair against the right side wall in front of her desk.

He sat down, and nervously spoke, "I almost thought you forgot."

"Your name? How could I do that," she asked with almost no emotion as she put her hands together on her desk.

"Back in the class you…never mind that was stupid," he bashfully answered.

"Ok…so do have a question about my class?"

"What?"

"You have the syllabus in your hands Ben; I assume this is about my English class? There's no other reason for you to be here – correct?"

"Uh, yeah," he adjusted his position, and quickly shuffled through the papers looking for anything. "Yeah the midterm…,"she knew this was bullshit, and cut him off.

"…yes two midterms, and a final each 30 of your grade. Home work which I collect at random is worth 10." She finished her sentence in an irritated tone as she wasn't in the mood for games. "Ben I mentioned this in my lecture, and it's right here," she pointed to the class schedule, "in plain English."

"Uh, yeah," he answered in a weak voice as he quickly remembered how direct she could be. He felt like the consistency of mud is less than thirty seconds. Completely out of it he got up and left, "Thanks Ms. Young." He leaned against the wall in the hallway just next to her door. "God damn chicken shit," he whispered. He began walking to the elevator while thinking over his mistakes. He was on such a high earlier today, and now on a tremendous low. While waiting at the elevator which was taking forever he was actually getting angry with himself. "Why am I so fucking weak around her," he quietly asked himself. He decided to confront her, and walked back towards her office. He thought about what he would ask her. What happened to you? Why are back? "Yeah, that's a good start." He quickly turned into to her office, "Ms. Young…" The office was empty, and Ben wondered if she had left. He looked at his watch, "No fifteen minutes left." He decided to walk around the seventh floor trying to think over what he would ask.

As he rounded a corner Ben noticed the wall was now mostly windows, and outside was a large patio. He looked out to see a few tables with chairs that were currently empty, but he suddenly spotted a woman at the edge looking out at the view. Blue skirt, white blouse, that was her Ben confirmed. He opened the all glass door, and quietly walked out towards her.

It was another glorious sunny day, warm in fact, with little wind. It was doubtful she would hear him walk up as there was large passenger plane that cruised by on its way to Seattle International Airport. There was plenty of campus traffic below as well.

He walked up on her left side and gently put his elbows down on the concrete wall. It took only a second or two for her to notice him next to her. Both stayed quiet while they looked out at the view of the school, and the city. Ben watched her with her sunglasses on as she smoked a cigarette.

"I thought you're smart enough to not get caught," Ben asked as he reminisced about an old and fond memory they had together.

Ms. Young turned towards him, and pushed her sunglasses up allowing them to rest on top of her head. He looked at her gorgeous face, and admired the beautiful shine of her lovely skin. She took a hit off her cigarette, and waited as she looked at him grinning. She wasn't smiling, and suddenly blew smoke in his face as they were only a foot and a half apart. He tried to tough it out and not move, but he quietly coughed, and almost gagged a couple of times. "Thanks," he said with difficulty.

"What do want," she demanded.

He sighed as he looked at the view, "I really wish I knew."

Still turned towards him, "Well let me make it easier Ben. What do you want from me," she commanded.

This wasn't going the way he had hoped, but he wasn't going to let her hijack this conversation. "What happened? Why are you back," he raised his voice as he asked.

She looked down, and quietly responded, "I didn't think you cared."

"How could I not," he excitedly asked.

She couldn't believe he said that which angered her, "How could you not? How could you dump me at the dance? How could you cut off all contact? How could you move on with Sue so quickly? How…"

"…ok, I get it, I was a jerk. I'm sorry," he stood up, and paced about in frustration. Calmed down now, she turned and looked out at the view while she took a sip of her bottled water. Ben leaned over and rested his arms back on the wall next to her, and calmly repeated his question. "What happened to you Monica?"

"Where do I start," she put her hand through her hair as she thought. "Sue told her father and he said if I left he wouldn't turn me in. Obviously I had no choice." She sighed searching for the words. "I guess it was a good thing; I got a second chance not being turned into the authorities. I decided then and there that I was done. Game over as you put it once. I had made some disastrous decisions for my life; my entire future Ben. Quitting my job was difficult, but it had to be done" She took a quick puff on her cigarette while Ben waited for more. "So I moved to Denver as you know; I have a few friends out there, and I soon found a job as a copy editor for a small publisher. It felt good moving out of my mother's home; oh was that a wonderful day," she mildly laughed as she thought about it. "I had to cut off all the loose ends in my life in Seattle. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have been able to do it."

Ben thought about what she said, "So I was just a loose end?"

Somewhat angered she replied, "Ben you're totally missing the point; it wasn't about you. I was destroying my life, and I was destroying your life." Ben thought about his brother Sam, and what Monica had done out of revenge. Neither said anything for a minute as they just watched the traffic below. Ms. Young put out her cigarette in an ash tray stand in the corner next to her. "We discussed this just before I left. I thought you agreed the whole thing was a big mistake."

"Yes I did," he answered, but now he wasn't sure as the old feelings surged throughout him. "So how did you end up here?"

"I love teaching. I decided to go back to college, and finish up my masters. Then my Ph.D. just recently, and by some miracle I got a job at UW of all places – I still can't believe it. Now one the most painful parts of my past shows up in my first college class." Her voice became emotional as she finished the sentence. "I never thought I would see you again." In a sad voice she continued, "I think I hoped I wouldn't see again."

"You can't believe how surprised I was." She didn't respond. Ben desperately wanted to continue the conversation. "So are you seeing anyone," it sounded lame once he said it.

She turned towards him trying to figure out what he wanted from her. "What do you think you're doing," Ms. Young accused him.

"What?"

"You know Ben Conner, I've learned a lot of lessons the last few years, and one of those lessons was that intimate teacher student relationships don't work. In fact they're dead ends, and I have no intention of going down that road again."

Ben was taken a back by her statement. "Who said anything about an intimate…"

She countered before he could finish,"…please Ben." She raised her hand and smiled knowing exactly where this was going. "I know men, and they generally have one thing on their mind. I think you're old enough to figure out what that is. It doesn't matter anyway; for two reasons. First of all I'm not interested, don't get me wrong you're cute, but you're still a kid. Second, the college forbids intimate teacher student relationships. They would terminate my employment."

Ben was shocked, and embarrassed that she assumed he wanted to get back together after four years. He turned towards her, "Monica…what makes you think I want you back?"

She laughed at that while looking at him sinfully. "You're kidding me – correct? Why else would you be here? Don't misunderstand me, I'm flattered – really – but you're a terrible liar."

Ben really hadn't made up his mind about her and the two of them, but he couldn't believe what she was saying. My God he thought to himself she suddenly reminded him of Sue – totally full of herself. "Ok whatever Monica," he weakly responded.

Ms. Young forgot how much fun it was to push his buttons. She laughed, and then sighed happily as she overtly looked him up and down. "Ben, you know you look so sexy in your jeans, and hiking boots," she playfully grabbed at his t-shirt."

"You're playing one of your little games on me," he replied in a somewhat annoyed voice.

She was enjoying herself too much to stop now. She moved close to him which he did not expect. He quickly stood up, and took a step back. Facing each other she asked, "Do you want me to be you're girlfriend," she licked her lips after she said it.

Ben calmed down knowing what she was up to. "Aren't you supposed to be the adult here?"

She decided to back off, and laughed with great satisfaction. "Ok I'm sorry; I'm having some fun at your expense. I want help you. I know a couple young ladies that would love to go out with you."

"No, thank you, I don't need any blind dates." Ben was more than willing to play her game, "Besides I have a girlfriend Monica."

She didn't expect that answer. Ms. Young always thought she was good at reading what he was thinking, but she totally miscalculated Ben's feelings back in high school. She knew less about him four years later, and was wondering if he was lying. It made sense to her that he would have a girlfriend; after all he was a good looking guy. "Oh? Really? I'm sorry I should have known better. I'm glad we have both moved on." Ben wondered what that meant. Maybe she had a boyfriend he thought. How could she not be in a relationship he wondered, she was smoking hot, and exciting as hell. "So what's her name," Ms. Young pressed him.

"What?"

"Your girlfriend?"

"Oh…Katie." He hadn't even emailed Katie let alone go out on a first date.

In a friendly voice he had yet to hear today she said, "That's really nice Ben, I'm happy for you, and I hope you two last."

"Well thank you," he answered a bit surprised. Ben figured it was his turn to get one in. "I guess you don't have to feel so awkward about me being in your class since I'm not available. Maybe we can even be friends."

Ms. Young laughed out loud at the absurdity of his comment. He had matured, but he still had that high school naivety about him. In a surprised voice, "Awkwardness," she asked. "I'm a big girl Ben, and believe it or not I got over you quite a while ago. There won't be any romantic reunion behind some tent at a carnival. I'll never do something that misguided again." She took a sip of water, and then moved very close to him. He knew she was trying to intimidate him with her seductive act, but he wasn't going to move. He just continued to stare out at the view. "Friends," she inquired. "Here's how it's going to work. I'll be the teacher, you be the student. You hand in your assignments, and take your tests, and I'll grade them. That's it's. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am," he said as he casually saluted to mock her.

"Good. Maybe that's one promise you can keep." He forgot that she could be one serious bitch if she wanted to be. She walked towards the door, but stopped after a few steps. "Oh Ben? Do me a favor?"

He turned around and asked in an irritated voice, "What?"

"Don't ever call me Monica again; it's inappropriate. Professor Young, Ms. Young, instructor Young; those are fine. Clear?"

"Crystal," he quickly responded. She walked off, and he continued to watch her to see if she looked back, but she never did. He turned around to face the view. He was totally emotionally drained; he couldn't believe how much that conversation took out of him as he felt his knees weakened. He didn't know what to expect when he got here, but that exchange blew him away. One thing he could confirm though, Ms. Young still loved to play games.


	3. Episode 2: I'm So Sorry 1

Lost Love : I'm So Sorry

Ben walked into the food court to find Dino at his new job. Ben had to focus and find his bearings as there were more than a dozen establishments doing business here. He walked around the busy area working his way through the numerous students milling around searching for their breakfast fix. He had never been to El Loco Taco as he had only been to the food court a couple of times, but he soon spotted it and headed over there. Ben started to laugh once he got to the counter, and saw Dino wearing as part of his uniform an oversized sombrero as he worked a hot fryer.

"Hey senorita; how's it going," Ben asked with a huge grin.

Dino looked up with a look of desperation. "It totally sucks dude!" He was sweating from all the heat in the small booth, and the large hat. "I reek like fucking taco shells, taco oil, taco barf, you name it!"

"I think you spilled some there D."

"Thanks a lot Ben."

"Jesus, this is your first day, are you going to make it?" Ben wondered out loud as he searched through the extensive menu on the wall.

A tall male worker with blond hair came over towards Dino, "Yo, Flintstone boy, I need another Muy Grande platter a-sap.

"Whatever Ferguson," Dino answered annoyed. He quickly started pulling out containers and shoveling food into them as Ferguson left.

"Who's that?"

"My boss," Dino answered with a pain look.

"He seems like a dick."

"Yeah he is; well some times he's cool."

"Flintstone boy," Ben asked.

Somewhat embarrassed, "You know, the cartoon, the damn dog, or dinosaur pet thing."

"The food Whitman," Ferguson yelled out over the loud speaker.

"It's coming dude," Dino continued to frantically shove food into containers.

Ben realized his friend was currently being overwhelmed. "I'll give you some room, and talk to you later."

"No, no, it's actually slowed down dude."

"Seriously; you look like you're getting buried alive in beans back there."

"Ha, ha, funny. I've got a break in ten minutes. I want to hear about Ms. Young," he pleaded with Ben.

Ben winced as he thought how bad that conversation went. "Man, I don't really have time, I better get going."

"Oh c'mon? I'll get you a couple of taco's on the house," Dino bargained with him.

Ben smiled as his eyes widened, "Free food? Oh I've got time for that."

"Great get a table I'll find you," Dino continued struggling with several containers all over the counter.

Ben left to look for a table as he heard behind him on the loud speaker, "My platter Whitman?" He couldn't help but laugh to himself. It wasn't long before Dino showed up with the food, and a soda. Ben tried not to laugh at his friend's misery wearing his pathetic uniform. "Oh you brought me a Coke too. I didn't know you cared," he sarcastically questioned.

Dino sat down and relaxed as he placed his feet on another red plastic chair. "Don't worry I spit in it." Ben laughed knowing he was kidding as he took a big sip through the straw.

"All right. What happened? Does she still want you?" Ben took his time answering while he took a bite of his taco. "Did I mention my break isn't that long," he threw his giant sombrero off onto the table. "Ferguson is probably in labor back there by now."

Ben laughed and tried not to choke on his food. "Ok, ok." Ben's demeanor changed to a serious one before he spoke. "It didn't go well."

Dino thought about that. "Really? So what did happen?"

"I went to her office, but ended up talking to her on some large deck in the A & E building." Ben took another bite as Dino watched all the commotion throughout the food court. "She doesn't want anything to do with me."

Dino was surprised at that, and slowly turned his head towards Ben. "Really? I don't know why, but for some reason I just assumed you two would get back together."

"Why? What makes you think I want her back? You know I met a gorgeous freshman in that first English class. Katie…got her email too." Ben continued to eat.

"Is that right? Did you send her a message yet?" Ben shook his head to indicate no as he chewed. Dino grinned, "And I know why." Ben looked at Dino knowing he meant his delay was because of Ms. Young.

"I don't think so dude. It was brutal man; I don't even like thinking about it." Dino just stared at him wanting more. "I'll give you the high-lights." He sighed, and then began rattling off the points. She accused me of wanting her back. Our relationship in high school was a mistake according to her; in fact I was a loose end that needed to be cut." Ben wiped his mouth when his face lit up as he remembered something, "Oh yeah get this. She doesn't want me to call her Monica ever again. Professor Young or something."

Dino laughed, "Damn. That's too bad; there wouldn't be any sneaking around crap."

"No that's wrong. She told me a couple times that the college would fire any teacher involved with a student."

"Oh. So she thought about it?"

"You had to be there; it wasn't a fun conversation. All right I'm out of here," Ben stood to dump his trash. "How much longer are you here?"

Dino sighed, "A couple more hours."

Just as he finished speaking Ferguson yelled, "Done powdering your nose Whitman? Breaks over bitch!"

Ben laughed while looking at Dino surprised how obnoxious his boss was. "Did this guy miss his medication this morning? Is he a student here?"

"I think he is a graduate student; I can confirm he's a total dick though." Dino put his hand in the air and gave Ferguson, who was standing at the booth behind him, the bird. "So what are we doing tonight?"

"Dude you've got to be kidding me. Have you even started your home work?"

Dino grinned, "Sure I have."

"Why does that sound like a total load to me? I've got to work tonight till 9:30 anyways," Ben explained.

Dino pointed at Ben, "You only live once man, better do it now."

"Thanks," Ben turned and left the food court as Dino returned to the Taco booth.

Ben looked at his watch which read 9:20pm, "Almost out of here." He had been restocking DVD's for the last few hours. He had his job at Block Buster for about three months now, and was actually enjoying it. He was constantly renting movies, games, buying music, and making connections for discount concert tickets.

"Ben," an older heavy set African American woman called out.

"Yeah LaShawnda." She was the store manager, and he had gotten along with her very well. It wasn't surprising since Ben was an excellent and reliable worker. It helped that most of the workers were younger than him, and often flaked out on the job assuming they bothered to show up at all.

"Can you check that last customer out, and then you can clock out."

"Sure," he quickly walked up to one of the registers. Once there he immediately noticed the two cute girls waiting to rent a DVD. "Hi. Just the one movie," he asked while admiring their beauty. One was blond the other was brunette both at shoulder length.

"Yeah that's it," the blond haired beauty handed it to him.

He scanned the bar code with the laser scanner, and watched the computer monitor. "Wet Hot American Summer; hmm sounds like fun," he questioned.

"Oh yeah it's hilarious," she responded as she handed him her I.D.

"It's totally hot too," the brunette blurted out while fixated on Ben.

He didn't know how to respond to her comment at first. "Really? I've never seen it." He decided to go for it, "Maybe you two could invite me over, and then I can judge for myself."

They both giggled at his comment. "Ok," she quickly answered.

Her blond haired friend lightly slapped her on the shoulder, "Kerry, what the hell?"

Ben was surprised at her answer. "Well I am free tonight Kerry."

She laughed, "No, no..." she focused in on his name tag. "…Ben. Jill is correct; that was rude of me, but I'll take your phone number."

He couldn't believe what she was saying, but quickly wrote his number out on the receipt. He threw it into the plastic bag with the movie and handed it to her. "I'll be waiting for your call Kerry." As the two exited the building he couldn't believe how easy it was to pick up girls lately. Ben just exhaled proud of himself, and with some relief, while looking up at the ceiling. Ben grabbed his backpack and swiftly clocked out. "Bye LaShawnda."

"Oh thanks Ben. See ya."

Ben walked outside to the parking lot, and he immediately saw Dino and Jonathan standing next to his car, and Dino's Kawasaki parked next to it. It had been warm this afternoon, even hot, but the fog was now rolling in, and cooling things down quick. "Hey. What are you guys doing here?"

"Well Jonathan said he wanted to talk about something, but he needed you around, or something. Oh and I was thinking we could go to a movie."

Ben was surprised – even now – with Dino's endless party mentality. "Dude, you must be kidding me," Ben questioned. "I haven't started on any of my home work. Have you started yet?

Dino smiled, "Oh yeah; all day today," he couldn't stop laughing as he said it.

"Yeah right," Ben answered with disbelief.

Dino looked at Jonathan and asked, "Ok what's this big secret?"

Nervously Jon replied, "Yeah, well I was kind of thinking about being a roommate with you guys." Dino couldn't stop laughing and almost tripped over himself. Jonathan continued, "You know; do the college roomy thing, are you all right Dino?"

Ben and Jonathan couldn't help but notice Dino's odd behavior. Ben put his hand on Dino's shoulder, "Dude are you all right?"

Dino suddenly straightened up with a better posture, and pulled on his Kawasaki green leather jacket. "Yeah I'm cool."

Ben and Jonathan both grinned while watching him. "You know you've been a little strange ever since you picked me up at school."

Dino put his hands through his hair, and opened his eyes wide, "All right. I'm busted." He then reached in his pocket and pulled out what looked like a cigarette, but was quickly realized as a joint by his friends.

Ben grabbed it quickly while giggling to himself. "Oh dude you're totally stoned. Where did you get this?" Ben walked around the car almost giddy.

Dino finally stopped laughing as he rested his arm on Jon's shoulder. "Ah…my asshole boss."

Ben handed Jonathan the joint, "That Ferguson fart?"

"Yep. I told you he was ok at times. Five bucks can you believe it?" Jonathan handed it back to Dino. "So let's have some fun and go to a movie; a comedy or something. C'mon guys things have gotten so serious lately. Besides we need to celebrate our new roommate," he pleaded with them.

Uncomfortably Jon spoke, "Well there's a little more to…"

"No problem dude; will get to it," Dino waved his hand around.

Ben and Jonathan looked at each other laughing at Dino's behavior. It had been a while since any of them had smoked marijuana. None of them were ever pot heads, but there had been many a party in someone's garage, or a concert when they had toked up.

Jonathan giggled, "This must be some good stuff."

Ben suddenly yelled, "Shit." He leaned over putting his head in his hands. "I can't believe this. I was going to do my homework." He stood up and in a desperate voice, "Didn't we go out last night?"

Dino burst out laughing, "I don't remember."

Ben sighed, "Fine. We're not smoking in the car." Dino was about to say something, but Ben cut him off. "No. I know my parent's house is only a few blocks away, but no way."

Jonathan trying to be funny, "Yeah they'll want some."

"Don't you mean your parent's dude," Ben accused.

"Yeah you're probably right," he answered as the three chuckled.

Dino slapped both of them on their chests. "I got it. The middle school up the road and it's on the way to the Century 25. I know right where to hide the car."

"What about the Saki," Ben questioned.

"It's insured this month," Dino replied as he rubbed some minor body damage on his sports bike. Then he laughed uncontrollably for several seconds. Ben and Jon shook their heads amused by their friend.

Within five minutes they arrived at the Steinbeck middle school, and Dino was correct about hiding the car. No one could see it from the street where Ben ended up parking it. The way Ben was gunning the Camaro around people would hear it way before they saw it. Ben pulled it into a covered walk way by the science lab while reviving the engine as the car rolled forward in neutral. He got out and walked over to his friends several yards away.

"Dmn does that thing sound pretty-vicious," Jonathan encouraged Ben.

"I know; I love the growl it makes now, " he responded as he grinned. "New headers; glass packs too."

"Yeah and the DEA making a raid," Dino stressed. "You might want to keep it down next time." They walked the short distance to the sand box with swings, monkey bars, and other equipment used by children. Dino sat down in a swing and exhaled as he relaxed. Ben and Jonathan walked over, and stood on either side of Dino as he whipped out a lighter. There was almost no lighting so none of them could really see each other's face till Dino began working the lighter. "So Jon, what's this other part to the roommate scenario?"

"Oh yeah," Jonathan nervously prepared to mention the Debra request. Dino lit up the joint and quickly took a hefty toke off it. Dino strained to hold in the smoke as he handed it to Ben. He quickly took a modest hit, and held his breath. "Yeah, well what do you guys think about Debra moving in…"

Dino suddenly exhaled all the smoke in his lungs straight up into the air trying not to get any on himself. "What? Why would she want to dude?" Ben tried to hold it in, but he couldn't, and laughed at Dino's reaction as he handed the joint to Jon. "Debra hates me Jonathan." Wincing as he took a large puff Jonathan passed it on to Dino. "I mean what girl would want to live with three guys? Seriously," he lightly slapped Jon's shoulder. Ben couldn't believe how fast this stuff was hitting him.

His senses were intensifying as his knees became weak. Ben looked over at Dino, "This is some good shit." Dino grinned as he prepared to take another hit. "Of course it has been awhile – like at least a year," Ben summed up.

Jonathan exhaled in the opposite direction of his friends. He turned to face them, "I know. Se didn't quite go for it today."

"You already asked her," Ben questioned as Dino past off the drug to him.

"Yeah. I screwed up though. She thought I meant just her and me, and then…"

Neither Ben or Dino could keep it in when they heard Jonathan's mistake, and they both chuckled uncontrollably. Dino stood up and leaned on Ben to support is weight. "Ahh, that is too classic man," Ben chided Jon. "You get her all psyched, and then yanked the carpet from under her, ahh,"

Jonathan was getting annoyed, "Just pass the weed all right."

"Here," Ben handed it to him. Jonathan immediately took a large hit.

"Well I don't care as long as the rent is covered," Dino declared. Jon handed him the cigarette.

"It's cool with me too. Why don't you want to move in with just the two of you," Ben asked as he received the joint from Dino.

"I don't know. I mean we've been together for four years, and it's time for the next level – whatever that is."

Dino exhaled as he waved the smoke away, "Ok." He walked over to the swing which he could barely see in the dark as Ben inhaled hanging on the chain of another swing.

"I don't think I'm ready for the – whole – next level though. I mean we'll get engaged…"

"Oh God no," Dino yelled and suddenly fell backwards off the swing into the sand. He started to laugh at his clumsiness. Jon received the cigarette from Ben while he held in his breath. "No dude," Dino yelled chuckling, and trying to get up. "You can't get married before you're 21."

Ben exhaled and sat down feeling the full power of the marijuana. "Whoa, Ferguson sold you some good dope."

"I know and we've only smoked half of this puppy too."

"I'm done dude; hell I'm over done," Ben laughed to himself.

Jon walked over to Dino handing him the marijuana, and then walked away to exhale. "I know. I'm not getting married now, but something has to change. Her mother is driving her nuts anyway." Jonathan looked at his watch light and was amazed at its brilliancy. "Oh yeah I'm feeling it," he laughed.

Dino concentrated, with some difficulty, tapping out the fire of the joint with his lighter. "Dude it's fine with me, we can use a fourth share, but if she leaves because there's too many parties, or whatever, your covering her share."

Ben rubbed his eyes, "Oh God; too many parties? I don't want to even think about it." He struggled to get up and dust the sand off him.

"Cover her rent? Yeah ok. So you guys are cool?" Ben let out a loud belch for a response which made the three laugh uncontrollably. They slowly migrated to the car laughing, and joking the whole time, experiencing the full effect of the drug now.

Jonathan suddenly put his arms up, "Oh shit. I have pictures."

"What do you mean pictures," Dino questioned.

"Ms. Young. Ok, ok, I was taking exterior shots of Warren Hall for my architectural project, when she walked into the entrance. I was going in anyway, so I followed her." Ben and Dino leaned against the car while they listened. "Weird?"

"So far? Yeah," Ben responded.

"Well anyway I go inside and it's a theater, and there's people dancing, a piano, a bunch of other stuff, but she was gone. I took a few interior shots, maybe 20 minutes, when I spotted her on stage. Oh man did she look fine," he explained with an expression of joy and relief.

"What was she wearing," Dino asked excitedly.

"Some work out, dance thingy, white sleeveless top, black dance type pants – all tight. I mean she look good."

"So she still does the drama thing," Ben wondered out loud. "Do you think she's teaching this play thing?"

"I think she's in it. I've got the pictures in the car."

Dino opened the door, "Let's go." They all piled into the car, Ben sitting in the driver's seat turned the interior light on as Jonathan in the back searched through his bag.

"Ok, ok, here you go," he handed them each a few photos.

"Oh shit," Dino said. "Not only is she hot; these pic's are really good - amazing."

"Thanks for finally noticing," Jonathan whined.

"It's the weed dude," Ben chimed in as he looked at the pictures.

"Thanks a lot Ben," Jon whined again. "It takes skill you know."

"Is it possible," Dino asked while he turned towards Ben and pointed to a photo of Ms. Young stretching. "Is she hotter than she was in high school? How does she do that?" Ben shook his head as he continued to sift through the photos.

"What," Jon asked wondering about his friend. "I thought you'd love these."

"No. It just reminds me of her. Throw them out."

"I'll take'em," Dino laughed.

"Never mind pervert; I'll handle it," Ben grabbed all the pictures. "Jonathan she doesn't want anything to do with me. It's not like I want to get back with her either, but the feelings, good and bad are surprisingly fresh."

"So you talked to her?"

"Yep, and she wants nothing to do with me.

"You've got to give me details dude. How do you feel about her?"

Ben sighed, "You know Jon I still don't know." They were all quiet for several moments.

Finally Dino spoke up, "You are so totally harshing my buzz dude." They all laughed. "C'mon lets go to a movie – now."

"Ok," Ben answered in an up beat voice. He started up the Camaro and handed Dino the pictures, "Glove compartment dude." Dino tried to shove them in without bending them. Ben tried to keep the car quiet as they drove through the school yard, but even when the car idled it was a noticeable beast.

They made it to the main road, a two lane road in each direction lined by every corporate, and mom pop business establishment imaginable. This area wasn't nearly as densely developed as downtown Seattle, but generally a busy area. Ben was a little relieved that traffic was pretty light at this hour. The three guys laughed and joked while going through many of Ben's CD's. As they waited at a street signal a white Toyota Matrix pulled up on their right with four girls inside.

Dino just happened to look on his right, "Oh no way."

"What," Ben nervously asked. He had become borderline paranoid with the narcotic in his blood.

"Look," Dino pointed and then rolled down the window. "Hey," he yelled and waved at the car next to them. Ben relaxed when he realized what he meant.

The driver and back seat passenger rolled their respective windows down. "Hi guys," the driver said.

"Hey," Dino responded and waved again.

Jonathan was nervous and yelled out, "Word." Everyone laughed hard at that.

Dino rolled his eyes in embarrassment. "So where are you fine young women going?" They all laughed flattered by his remark.

"We just came from a party a couple blocks away, but the cops just busted it up," the cute brunette driver explained. "What about you guys?"

Jonathan blurted out, "Movie."

Ben turned back towards Jon, "Stop being a retard." Jonathan laughed to himself because he had a girlfriend. Why not make his friends suffer a bit. "I'm a retard," he yelled. The marijuana had made Jon shed most of his inhibitions.

Dino ignored Jonathan the best he could. "We're going to the Century to see a movie."

"What movie," the girl in the back seat asked?

"Uh…we don't know yet."

Ben realized Dino wasn't as sharp as usual, and hit him in the leg. "A comedy dude, a comedy."

Dino looked at Ben and then leaned back towards the door out the window, "Oh yeah…a comedy."

"Dino Whitman," the girl in the front passenger's seat yelled out.

"Yeah? Who's that?"

"Chelle. I mean Richelle Sandler. From Woodrow Wilson, class of 2006."

Dino looked at his buds hoping they could help. "Whoa," Ben responded. "That's Richelle Sandler. She's beautiful."

"Who," Dino asked.

"You don't remember? She asked you out for three dances – senior prom dude."

He looked back, "Man has she changed." He leaned out and waved, "Hey, how's it going."

The four girls were in conference with each other, but finally answered. "Maybe we'll see you guys at the theater," the driver yelled out.

For some unknown reason Jonathan began barking like a dog out the window. Ben looked back trying to hit Jonathan, "Shut the hell up dude," Ben demanded as he whacked Jon's knee.

"Oh crap!" Jonathan leaned over in pain while laughing uncontrollably.

Dino was embarrassed, but played it off as best he could. "Oh, yeah, sounds great," Dino yelled out. The signal turned green, and the white Matrix pulled ahead of the boys as Ben stayed at 34 mph in the 35 mph zone. "What the fuck was that," Dino angrily questioned both of his friends.

"Don't look at me," Ben responded loudly. "Mutt boy back there forgot to take his God damn Riddlin this morning."

"No more weed for you Jonathan," Dino sighed as he looked out the window.

As the vehicles approached the next intersection Ben saw a yellow VW bug waiting for the light to change on the opposite side of the road. He immediately wondered if it was her – he had to look. The car full of girls made a right turn at the intersection on to another street as Ben continued straight. Dino suddenly watched them go through the intersection as Ben tried to see who was driving the yellow bug. Dino watching the Toyota drive off calmly pointed out to Ben, "Uh, dude the girls went that way. The theater is that way too."

Ben looked at the figure in the driver's seat of the bug as they went by, but was disappointed. Middle aged man with a dog in the passenger's seat. Damn he said to himself, and then he wondered why he even cared. "Huh, oh, yeah this a short cut," he responded to Dino's observation. Ben pressed on the accelerator and the car noticeable choked while losing some power. Ben quickly backed off the accelerator, and punched the clutch in letting the car roll free. "Uh oh."

"What was that," asked Dino with an alarmed expression. Jonathan sat up wondering what was going on.

"Gas," Ben answered disappointedly. "I think we're out."

"You've got to be kidding me," Jon asked completely surprised.

Dino looked at Ben, "Why don't you keep the tank filled all the time?" Ben rubbed his fingers together confirming the lack of funds was the problem. "Shit."

"All right there's a gas station up the road, but I've got to hit the throttle now." Dino stared out the window pissed that they won't be making it to the theater anytime soon. Ben carefully applied pressure on the accelerator and the car responded speeding up from 10 mph to 20 mph and then it totally died. The car's engine was totally silent as they continued to roll along the relatively flat street.

"I can't believe this," Jonathan stated. "How could run out gas?"

"It's broken; I'll explain later," Ben replied annoyed as he attempted to pull over to the side of the road. They all got out and felt the fog moving in from the coast as a couple a cars drove by.

"Ok. Now what," Dino asked while leaning with his arms resting on the top of the car.

Ben looked around, "Ok there's a station maybe half a mile up there." He pointed in the station's direction. "We'll push the car there."

"HA," Dino let out a quick laugh of disgust while pacing in a circle.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," Jonathan said as he walked to the back of the car. "Why don't you walk to the station, and get a gas can full of gas. This is your fault."

Ben turned to face him, "If I wasn't so stoned and I had the time I'd kick your ass right now." Jonathan started to laugh. "Listen! Part of the way is down hill, so we'll roll part of the way."

"Oh," Dino's attitude quickly changed when heard that. "Let's go then." He walked around to the back of the car as he and Jonathan placed their hands on the trunk.

Ben took the car out of gear and the three began pushing. The car rolled easily on the flat roadway, and Ben pushed while carefully steering to keep the car to the side as the occasional vehicle drove by. They got the car going at a good pace, and had made good progress when they heard a car pull up behind them and noticed the rapid flicker of multiple colored lights reflecting off of everything. Dino and Jonathan looked at each other with panicked expressions on their faces. It was only a second latter when the three heard the chirp, and high pitch whoop of a police siren, which sounded off for just a second. Dino and Jon stopped pushing while Ben jumped into the driver's seat, applied the brakes, and put the car in gear. All three turned and faced the barrage of lights coming from the patrol car. The patrol car's engine shut off, and a figure appeared through the brilliance of the lights.

"Good evening gentleman; I'm Officer Mitchell." Jonathan almost laughed as the cop looked, and sounded like a young Clint Eastwood. Buzz cut, squinted eyes, and a raspy voice. Man, am I hammered he thought to himself. The tall police officer stared the three down as he listened to his radio squawk out indiscernibly commands. He turned his head toward the radio handset near his shoulder and pressed the receiver button, "Echo two eight. Copy." He waited another moment before speaking, "Car trouble?"

Ben in a guilty tone replied, "Gas, we ran out of gas."

"You're kidding?"

Dino spoke up, "The gas gage is broken; we have a new one on order."

"Oh," seemed logical to the officer. "You're the driver?" Ben nodded yes. "You're license, and the vehicle's registration." Ben pulled his license out of his wallet and handed it to the cop. He went back for the registration, and the cop quickly pulled out his flash light to scan the interior. He also carefully watched Ben retrieve the registration making certain there were no weapons or something that would be a threat to his safety. Once the officer had the ID and registration he instructed, "Ok, I need the three of you in front of the patrol car." They quickly complied as the officer pulled out his lit up personal digital assistant. "Ok look at the patrol car's windshield so the video camera gets your faces." Mitchell quickly entered Ben's information, and received an answer. "Ok driver's clean, car is clean, I like those answers." He handed Ben back his information as he looked at his PDA's display. "Mr. Conner you live close by is that correct?

Nervously he answered, "Yeah, about two or three miles away."

"Where were you guys headed," Mitchell looked up from the PDA, and focused on Jonathan.

"Uh, the Century 25; a movie."

He returned to entering information into the device, "Any drinking tonight gentleman?" The three of them answered in unison no.

"Good," he shut the PDA off and placed it in its protective holster. "Ok, hazard lights on, and let's move the vehicle into the Midas Muffler parking lot," he pointed behind them. The three boys where shocked that they were getting out of this situation unscathed. They quickly followed through with his command, and the four pushed the car into a parking space. Ben put the car in gear and applied the emergency brake. "Ok, good. Mr. Conner you come with me and I'll take you to the service station up the street. The three boys were all thinking the same thing, but none could show their terror. The cop walked back to his patrol car. Ben followed Officer Mitchell, now finally able to express his total and utter panic to his friends.

"Do you think he can pull this off," Jon asked in a hushed voice.

"I sure as hell hope so," Dino answered as he watched Ben get into the police car.

Ben got into the passenger's seat as Officer Mitchell started up the car. What an intimidating place to be Ben thought. The female dispatcher relayed information over the radio which kept up the squawking at a steady rhythm. The computer monitor in the center consol was constantly updating text. The video camera on the dash had a blinking red light as Mitchell replied on his hand set, "Echo two eight out."

Ben felt he had to say something, "This is impressive."

"No sht Ben. Try being trained every quarter to work this stuff." He sighed as he began driving down the street towards the gas station. "I shouldn't complain though; most of the time my reports are finished before I get back to the station. In the end though," he waved his hand to emphasize his point as he accelerated down the street. "All I need is Bess."

Ben was confused, "Bess?"

Mitchell pointed backwards with his thumb, and tapped on the shotgun sitting in its stall, set behind them just a bit.


	4. Episode 2: I'm So Sorry 2

Ben didn't really know how to respond so he laughed uncomfortably and said, "Cool." He had thought he had sobered up, but the marijuana was totally affecting his judgment. He was amazed the cop hadn't noticed anything yet.

It was quiet for a moment except for the constant radio chatter. Finally the police officer spoke, "What year is that Camaro; 70?"

"71, Z28 almost totally rebuilt," Ben was relieved he had something to talk about.

"You do the work yourself?

"Some, with my friend, and brother."

"It's nice to see kids working on car's rather than their X Box or text messaging all day. Man has the world gotten weird." Mitchell was talking to himself as much as he was talking to Ben.

Again Ben didn't really have an answer, "Yeah," he replied.

"Here we are." The cop pulled into the gas station which was empty except for the car filling up on the far side of the station. The area was well lit to easily display the mini-mart specials that dominated the stations business. Ben got out of the car with relief, and entered the mini-mart. He approached the short older Asian man restocking the cigarette packs by the register.

"Excuse me. Do have any gas cans for sale?" The man looked confused and pointed at the gas pumps through the window. "No, a gas can, or container of some kind," he used his hands to mimic the shape of a container while speaking slowly.

The old man pointed to the gas pumps again, "Gas."

Ben realized he wasn't going to get anywhere with the clerk. He looked around for a container even a bucket, but there wasn't anything around. He headed out of the store and noticed a female figure leaning on the cop car talking to Mitchell.

"Uh, no the young man ran out of gas down the road. I'm just helping him get some fuel." Mitchell was enjoying talking to the pretty young woman admiring her in her black cocktail dress, and small black shall around her shoulders. She was definitely dressed up for a night out on the town he thought.

"Well that's nice of you," she responded.

"Protect and serve Miss."

"The reason I ask is he happens to be a student in my English class at the University of Washington."

"You're not old enough to be a Professor at college." She laughed at his flattering comment. As Ben approached the car he still couldn't see the woman's face, but he heard her laugh. Oh my God he thought that can't be Monica. Mitchell stuck his hand out, "My name is Robert."

She shook his hand, "Monica. Nice to meet you Robert." Ben slid into the passenger's seat and immediately looked at Ms. Young. She smiled when she saw him, "Ben? How are you tonight?"

Ben couldn't believe it; what was she possibly doing here? First he had to deal with a police officer, now Ms. Young, all while being stoned. He wasn't sure how much longer he could pull this off. "Good."

"Robert tells me you ran out of gas."

Ben felt stupid when she said it, "Yeah."

"Well listen Robert, I'll take Ben back to his car, and you can get back to more important things."

"Oh, well ok," he was disappointed the conversation was ending.

"Thanks officer," with relief he quickly got out of the car and stood by the wall of the mini-mart. He leaned against the wall while Ms. Young conversed with the cop. What was she doing here he wondered as he heard her laugh again. Her mother's home wasn't to far away, but why would she be dressed like that? He felt a low level of jealousy as he waited which surprised him. Finally the car pulled away and he could see Ms. Young looking at a business card. Ben assumed Mitchell asked her out for a date which was true. She looked good tonight in her dress, heels, and especially with her hair curled.

She looked up and smiled, "Ben. It's good to see you."

"It is?"

"Sure. Where's the gas can," she asked as she walked into the mini-mart and Ben followed her. She looked at the clerk as she headed towards the back of the store. "How much," she asked him.

"17.77," the old man responded.

"Ok, I'm going to get a soda," Ben followed her down the short aisle to the back where the refrigerated beverages were stored.

"They don't have any gas cans. Would you mind taking me to my parents to pick one up?"

"No, I don't mind."

Ben watched her search through the large selection of drinks. "So…visiting your mom?"

She laughed at his question as she grabbed a bottle of diet Dr. Pepper. She laughed again as she past him and headed towards the old man at the register. "Why would I do that? You know we don't get along." Ben walked up to the counter and stood next to her. Excitedly she grabbed a few Slim Jim sticks out of their display. "I love these; I'm totally addicted to them. Oh good there the spicy ones," she said as she inspected the item. She tossed two of the sticks next to the soda bottle, and immediately tore open the one in her hand. Ben realized how hungry he was once he saw her take a bite. He hadn't eaten since lunch, and the cravings from the marijuana had kicked in about ten minutes ago. "Do you want a bite," she snapped off a piece and handed it to him.

"Thanks," he said. Ms. Young watched him closely as she was surprised that she was still attracted to him. She noticed he hadn't shaved today and even that was getting her excited. He noticed her staring at him and wondered if she could tell if he was high. He turned his head to look at her, "What?"

"Nothing," she handed the clerk some cash.

He noticed the silver earrings dangling down by her face among the rest of her lush brunette hair. She had curled her hair and she looked beautiful with the locks. He couldn't take his eyes of her, and the smell of her perfume just made it worse. The clerk handed her the change and receipt which she put in her purse. She looked up to catch him now staring at her. "What is it?"

He came out of his trance, "Uh…what are you doing out here?"

She grabbed the soda bottle and jerky sticks and looked at him. "I'm sorry Ben, when did you become my mother?" She waited for a moment, and then walked outside.

Ben quickly followed her, "No really? What are you doing at a gas station three miles from my parent's home? I assumed you lived closer to the city."

She turned around and flicked her hair before speaking. "That's right I have an apartment close to the university. I don't remember getting the memo that said I needed your permission to go anywhere."

"Well it's a little weird don't you think?" She began walking towards her car, and while she could see his argument, she wasn't going to acknowledge that to him. Suddenly she realized what he meant, and quickly turned to face him. "You think I'm out here for you?"

"What am I supposed to think Monica?"

She looked up at the sky somewhat in disbelief. "You really think I'm so pathetic that I lurk around your neighborhood hoping to get a desperate glimpse of you?" Ben didn't respond. "Get over yourself Ben."

"Well why are you here?"

"If you must know I went out to dinner with a friend who happens to live right around the corner. I needed gas and now I'm going to drop my friend off."

Seemed so logical and the friend was more than enough proof. "Oh," he felt like an idiot.

They both walked towards her car, "My friends in the front; your in the back. Oh and stop calling me Monica."

"Whoa, very nice," he was impressed with her car. "Audi A4 huh; nice upgrade."

"Yes, I love it," she smiled.

"Silver, I like it." As they both reached their respective doors on opposite sides Ben asked, "What is it with you and German cars?"

"Oh I don't know. They're reliable; I can count on them." Great he thought to himself here we go again as he thought about bailing on her in the boiler room. Ben got in the back seat and was surprised to see this friend of hers was a guy sitting in the front seat. He was a good looking guy about Ms. Young's age. For some reason Ben had assumed her friend was a female colleague from the college. "Andrew this Ben Conner he is one of my students. His car ran out of gas down the road."

Andrew turned around to shake Ben's hand, "Hi Ben, nice to meet you."

"Yeah."

"Is the car close by," Andrew wondered out loud.

Ms. Young checked herself in the rear view mirror, and played with her hair. "Oh I have to take him to his house around the corner."

Andrew laughed to himself and jokingly asked, "Do you know where all your students live?"

"Oh I've known Ben since he was a kid."

He hated it when she called him a kid, and he knew that she used it to piss him off. "Yeah she was my English teacher in high school."

She started up the car and pulled out of the gas station. Andrew was confused and asked, "You didn't tell me you taught high school English." Ms. Young never told people about her high school teaching past.

"Oh yeah, that seems so long ago, I'm sorry Andrew," she placed her hand on his shoulder. Ben became jealous again; just from that minute expression of affection. Maybe it was the four years since they've seen each other, or the narcotic in his blood, but Ben was willing to push it this time.

"You wouldn't believe how much I learned in that English class," he explained. She adjusted her rear view mirror to give Ben a glare which he equally returned. "So, where did you two meet," he asked enthusiastically.

"Andrew works at the college."

"Oh. You're a teacher," Ben questioned.

"No I'm in the IT department." Ben was confused, and Andrew noticed it. "I keep the computer labs running. I keep the university network up."

"Oh yeah, IT," Ben worked with computers all day long, and he couldn't believe he didn't pick up on that. "So is this a first date?"

Ms. Young and Andrew looked at each other and laughed. "Yeah it's a date," Ms. Young acknowledged. He leaned forward between the two front seats, "So Monica does Andrew get a kiss tonight?"

Ms. Young couldn't believe Ben just asked that and was embarrassed by it. She pointed at the rear view mirror and yelled, "That was totally inappropriate to ask your professor Ben Conner."

Andrew was surprised and even uncomfortable with Ben's question. He was equally uncomfortable with Monica's outburst. It was silent for several seconds till finally Andrew asked, "Is there more going on here than I know?" Ben almost laughed when he heard that as he said to himself 'if you only knew'.

"What do mean," Ms. Young asked him.

"How well do you two know each other?"

Ms. Young never handled herself well when Ben pushed her. She instantly remembered the day Ben confronted her in detention, and Sue walked in on them bickering about their relationship. It was Monica that gave it away, and she never got over that. She desperately tried not to screw up again, but panicked, "I dated his older brother a couple of times." Ben couldn't believe she mentioned Sam. He didn't know what to say about that comment.

"His brother, you say?" Ms. Young couldn't believe she just opened that can of worms. "Monica…," Andrew waited till she looked at him. "I really like you. You're intelligent, you're funny…you're sexy. I know this sounds stupid, but I'm getting a bit spooked here with the secrets."

This is your street, correct," she pointed as she turned right, and gunned it down the road.

Andrew watched familiar landmarks blow by, "Yes," he answered, but it didn't matter Ms. Young was in-charge now.

"Ok here is my mother's place on the left," Andrew stated as he pointed.

Ben leaned forward, "You're mother? Gotta be embarrassing dude? Let me guess; credit problems."

Andrew was surprised how intuitive Ben was. "School loans; how did you know?"

"Oh I knew a smoking hot babe that lived with her mother for similar reasons."

Ms. Young wasn't paying attention to her driving as she listened to Ben continue to push her. She pulled into the driveway rather quick, and was forced to apply the brakes heavily in order not to hit the car in the driveway. Even with anti-lock brakes the tires screeched a bit from the wheels braking. Everyone was thrown forward for a moment. She looked at Andrew, "Sorry about that."

"Monica you might want to slow down before you kill someone," Andrew said. She stared at him for a moment when he finally said, "I'm kidding." They both laughed in relief while Ben rolled eyes in revulsion.

"Let me walk you up to the door Andrew." They both opened their respective doors and exited. Ms. Young gave Ben one of her classic glares as she shut her door. Ben laughed to himself as he hit speed dial on his phone. Dino's phone was in his jacket laying in the back seat of the Camaro. There was no way Dino or Jonathan would hear it as they blasted the car's stereo system sampling Ben's numerous CD's. Ben intensely watched Monica and Andrew talking at the front door. He next tried Jonathan's phone, but his rang uselessly in his bag in the back seat as well. Ben hung up and was shocked to see Monica move forward towards Andrew to kiss him. He couldn't help himself and began to count, "One, two, three, four, five, six, shit," he yelled as he punched the car's head liner. He was loud enough for the two outside to hear, and they both broke their kiss to look in the car's direction. Ms. Young walked down the pathway towards the car as Andrew entered the house.

She opened the door and got into the driver's seat and started up the car. "Ben you can sit in the front seat; you're not a dog." He exited the back, and got into the front seat. She backed out and accelerated down the road from the direction they came from. At the stop sign Ms. Young finally had to ask, "What the hell was that all about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me Ben. I know it's been four years, but you're acting strange. Andrew thinks you've been drinking, and I wouldn't be surprised knowing your history."

"I haven't been drinking."

Which way do I go," she asked.

"Monica we both know you are familiar with the location of my parent's home." He was correct she thought and that annoyed her.

She turned right and accelerated down the street and asked Ben, "So the bizarre questions? What do you think you are doing?"

Ben laughed quietly, "What?"

Ms. Young laughed at his pathetic defense and called him on it. "You asshole; you know what I mean," she continued to laugh. "I learned a lot in that English class?"

"I did. I'm not making anything up," he explained as she slapped him on his shoulder.

"What was the crack about a kiss?"

"Make a right here," he mentioned even though it wasn't necessary. She picked up the pace down the road, and soon came up on the Conner home. Oh did the old memories come back. Sam she thought; what was she thinking back then? He got out and entered the side door of the garage to retrieve the plastic gas jug. As he walked towards Ms. Young's silver Audi she popped the trunk which he heard before he saw the lid move up. He promptly opened the trunk and placed the jug in inside.

Once inside Ms. Young drove down the badly lit road. "Can we go by my car? Neither of my friends are answering their cell phones."

"Sure. Are they on the same street as the gas station," she asked.

"Yeah, 'D' street."

"I want to know Ben. What was that little drama designed to do?" He stared out the window not answering. "Ok I'll take a guess. You wanted to sabotage my relationship with Andrew, and get some kind of reaction out of me."

Ben quietly laughed to himself as he thought about what she had just accused him of. It was true he did want to get a reaction out of her. Any communication was better than none he thought. Oh my God, maybe I do want her back he finally admitted to himself. He didn't want to think about that now, and shifted his position in the seat. "Uh, I think I helped Andrew out tonight. He should be thanking me."

Ms. Young displayed a confused expression as she turned back to 'D' street. "What?"

"Yeah, that good night kiss, that wasn't the average first date kiss. That was to piss me off."

She was surprised by his accusation, "What?" Unfortunately it was somewhat true as she hadn't thought about kissing Andrew tonight till Ben brought it up. Andrew was a good looking guy and she was attracted to him, but she just hadn't considered it tonight. It was a good kiss she thought - she enjoyed it - but she had to admit to herself the kiss was that more satisfying knowing Ben was watching. What the hell did that mean she wondered? "You're crazy."

"Oh?"

"To piss you off," she asked, as she contemplated that statement and tapped her thumb on the wheel. Ben suddenly realized he had left himself open to attack. Ms. Young knew what he was getting at, and decided to go on the offensive. "So did it piss you off?"

Ben laughed at that trying to stall searching for an answer. "Oh here's my car at the Midas place," he rolled down the window as the car slowed.

"Answer the damn question Ben."

"Why do you want to know so bad," he asked will trying to see if Dino, or John were around. He could here the stereo thumping from the street, and spotted the two inside the car. "Ok let's go."

"You brought it up Ben."

He turned towards her and spoke with little enthusiasm, "No, it didn't piss me off."

She looked at him in disbelief as she accelerated down the street. "Yes it did. You're completely lying to me."

"I could care less." Ben was getting annoyed with this conversation, and shifted his position again. "How about some music?"

"Ben with both heard you in the car while we kissed; the shout?"

"I was yelling at my phone trying to get Dino." He felt like a stupid jealous high school kid right now.

"Yeah right," she countered growing tired of his game. "Do me a favor. Next time your voyeuristic eyes can't handle me being intimate with a man; don't trash my car." She spoke in her old teacher speak which annoyed him even more as it was designed to put him in his place. "What would your girlfriend think if she knew you were jealous of another man because of a kiss?" He was getting angry, but didn't bite on the bait she was casting. "What's her name…," she asked as she snapped her fingers while trying to remember her name.

Ben wasn't thinking clearly and blurted out, "Kerry." This wasn't the name he told her yesterday on the patio near her office. This was the name of the girl he had given his phone number to at Block Buster, only 45 minutes ago. Ben hadn't realized his mistake, but Monica did.

She pulled into the well lit, but virtually deserted gas station, and parked at the same pump she used earlier. She popped the trunk while Ben quickly stepped out and walked around to the back of the car. He retrieved the gas jug and moved forward to inspect the pump. Monica shut off the car, stepped out by the pumps, and turned to face him at the back. "Kerry?"

"What?"

"I thought it was Katie?

"That's right Katie," where was she going with this he wondered.

"Which one is it? Kerry or Katie?"

"What are you talking about," he suddenly realized his mistake.

"She's not real is she? You completely made her up! You lied to me again," she pointed at him as she walked nearer to him. He didn't have an answer and was getting angry now that she knew he didn't have a girlfriend. He felt like such an idiot getting caught by his ex-lover about a fake girlfriend; it sounded so pathetic. "You did that to make me jealous Ben; that's the only reason. You haven't moved on at all, and you're back to playing your little high school games." He almost answered but stopped. "C'mon tell the truth, you're going to have to grow up some time. Be an adult…"

He couldn't take it anymore and totally lost it. "You want the truth; be an adult? Why didn't you tell Andrew the truth about my brother?" This was the one issue she did not want to discuss with Ben. She was stunned by his sudden aggressiveness and couldn't say a word. He walked closer to her pointing at her with one hand while holding the gas jug in another. He continued in an angry tone, "You dated Sam a couple times?" He laughed in disgust at the explanation she gave Andrew earlier. "There wasn't time for any dates; you were too busy fucking my brother out of revenge."

She was shocked he just said that and couldn't control herself. She suddenly slapped him across his face as hard as she could. "How dare you," she screamed. Ben never saw it coming and his head was forced to turn due to the blow. Stunned for a moment he stepped back a pace and dropped the empty gas jug to the ground. Monica couldn't believe she had just hit him, and felt unbelievable alive with the adrenalin pumping through her body.

He placed his hand on his jaw and walked a few steps away from her towards the side walk. "SHIT," he yelled out as loud as he could. He slowly walked back towards the silver Audi and Ms. Young still holding his jaw, "God damn that hurt." He couldn't believe something so delicate could deliver such a wicked sting. "Don't tell me you have a ring on that hand," he asked in an annoyed voice.

"No, but I wish I did. You deserved that Ben Conner." She was not going to back down even though she knew everything he said was true. She hated to think about Sam and the whole revenge mission she had accomplished. She deeply regretted it, and to this day couldn't recognize herself back then.

Ben had calmed down, but he was still angry and wasn't finished. "Well, answer the question." She just stood there staring at him almost scared of him. "Tell me the truth…how could you do that? You used my brother, what kind a sick mind do you need to come up with something twisted like that? You sat in my home drinking my parent's wine, and enjoyed inflicting that pain; I totally remember how you enjoyed it when you left. You know what they call women that do sick shit…" He couldn't continue when he saw the first tear run down her cheek. All he could do was stare at her while admiring her beauty, and physically feeling her pain. He put his head down and sighed as he dragged his feet and walked closer. He was totally drained of energy from the stress of their discussion not to mention the marijuana. Oh God please don't cry he thought to himself as he knew he had no defense for that. He then saw a tear roll down her other cheek. Embarrassed she turned around facing towards the trunk of her car and away from him. He moved next to her leaning against the trunk facing the opposite direction she was facing. In a soft and loving voice, "Please don't cry Monica." He could hear her quietly weep.

She tried to pull it together, but wasn't having any success. She knew he was correct in his statements and she simply couldn't defend her actions from high school. "I'm sorry," she barely got the words out.

"I'm going to give the cashier some money. I want to say something when I come back." He walked into the mini-mart and gave the Asian man five dollars, "Pump Seven." He looked around for an item and finally found the tissues in a small travel pack. As he walked out he displayed the tissues indicating he wanted it on his bill. He approached the Audi, seeing that she hadn't moved, and was still crying. He filled the plastic gas jug which took only a few seconds and then applied the cap. Still squatting down he looked to see if she had moved – she hadn't. Maybe he went too far he wondered? He wanted to comfort her, but things where very different from high school. "Screw it," he whispered and walked up behind her. He was close enough to feel the heat from her body and she could equally feel his, but made no attempt to say, or do anything. He admired her lovely flowing hair which displayed the numerous freshly created locks throughout. He could sense the fruity smell of her hair as it mixed with her perfume. "Oh my God," he whispered under his breath as he suddenly realized he wanted her back, and he started to stroke her hair. He finally tugged on her shoulder and she reluctantly turned to face him embarrassed she was still crying. He pulled her in tight and they both enjoyed the heat from each other fighting off the cold from the fog rolling in. Ms. Young laid her head down on Ben's chest and wrapped her arms around his waste. She began to cry heavily and finally decided to get it all out. Ben gently rocked her to console her, "It's all right Monica."

"I'm so sorry Ben. I'm so sorry about everything."

"Shish," he stroked the back of her head as she wept.

After a full minute Ms. Young calmed down and asked, "Can you ever forgive me Ben?" He had to think about it as he wasn't even sure he had really forgiven Sam. His brother always reminded him of Monica no matter what he tried do not to think about her. She didn't hear an answer from him and assumed that meant he could not forgive her. "It's all right Ben I understand." Ben pulled out the tissues and tore open the package. He placed his hand under her chin and gently tugged to encourage her to raise her face. "Don't, I must look terrible," she explained.

He cupped her chin as he began to carefully blot her wet cheek. He became very serious as he gazed into her eyes, "Oh God, no Monica. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met." She was blown away by his statement as he handed her the tissue. "Even now I'm amazed."

"How can you be so generous? After…" She began carefully wiping her eyes trying to do as little damage to her makeup as possible."

"Listen. It wasn't all your fault. I could have handled how I broke up with you after the dance a lot better. I was a stupid 16 year old kid and didn't know what I wanted. I'll be honest though, I don't know when I can forgive you. Whenever I see Sam, or hear his name…,"

"You talk to him?"

"We patched things up. He helped me get my car. When I see him I'm always reminded of what happened" He pulled her close to him and she rested her head on his chest."

"I'm so sorry about your bother Ben, and that whole mess I created. You don't know how much I wish I could take that back." He could hear the guilt, and total desperation in her voice. It reminded him of the argument they had when Sue walked in on them, and discovered their love affair. She felt safe in his arms as this reminded her of their reunion on the stage at Woodrow Wilson. Ben bent his head down and kissed the top of her head.

She pushed him away as she began to tear up again. "Monica what's wrong?"

"This. You, me…us," she paced about trying to think. "This can't happen Ben; I don't want it to start again."

"Whoa, whoa, Monica hang on," he grabbed her arm as she tried to walk away.

She stopped and put her hand on his and looked into his eyes. Lovingly she spoke, "No Ben. I never should have gotten involved with you and I can't go through that again." She slowly removed his hand as they stared at each other, "I'm so sorry." She got into the car and popped the trunk for him, but he was shocked at what had just happened. He wanted to try again, and start all over, but she didn't want to. He placed the gas jug into the trunk, and collected his change from the cashier.

Once inside the car he watched her check her makeup in the review mirror. She searched for the tools needed in her purse and began to repair the damage. "Monica…"

"Stop it. I'm barely keeping it together as it is," her voice still had an emotional tone. "You know the college's policy about teachers and students. I'm not risking my career again," she continued to work on her eye lashes.

"I don't mind keeping our relationship secret," he pleaded with her.

She stopped what she was doing and looked at him in disbelief. "I can't believe you actually said that. We tried it once before, and I ended up having to leave town. Do you know if Sue's father knew I taught here he would probably tell the administration my high school past. Oh my God, please tell me Sue doesn't attend UW?"

"She doesn't; Princeton as planned." He had to change her mind, "Monica I'm older now; I can handle it."

She replaced her cosmetics in her purse and smiled due to his gesture. "It's not just my job." She put her hand on his knee which just made him want her more. "I want to date men my own age; I like Andrew we have a lot common and I want to see where this goes." Ben thought he was about to cry as she continued to crush his hopes. "You're so young, and you should be dating girls, not 27 year old women." He stared out his window while she started up the car, and exited the gas station.

Ms. Young headed down 'D' street and looked for the Midas shop. She was surprised how good she felt about this, that she did the right thing, not just for Ben, but herself. Ben was still stunned how everything changed so fast tonight; he had her and lost her in a matter of minutes. He reminded himself he had only realized he wanted her back ten minutes ago. He suddenly said out loud, "Katie."

Ms. Young looked at him as she pulled into the Midas Muffler parking lot. She smiled at him, "What?"

"Katie. She's real. She's not my girlfriend," he admitted. "I met her at the school and she gave me her email."

"Then you should send her a message. Go out on date, and you'll soon forget me, I promise."

"So this it," Ben asked.

"No, not at all Ben Connor. I'm still your English teacher. We can be friends." They sat there looking at each other for several seconds. She realized Ben wanted way more than friends and finally said, "You better go. We both have class tomorrow."


	5. Episode 3 Total Melt Down 1

If anyone's interested I've shortened the length of each add. The episodes will still be kind of large, just in bite size chunks now.

Episode 3 Total Melt Down

In spite of Ms. Young's rejection a week ago Ben was feeling rather well. He was enjoying a celebratory dinner with his parents at Paradiso's, one of their favorite restaurants. Part of its appeal was that it was just a few blocks from their home. While an elegant restaurant, with an outstanding atmosphere and service, it was still reasonably priced. It was so suburbia, but they loved it, and have enjoyed many a meal here before.

"I want to make a toast," Roland stated as he lifted up his glass of California Stevenot Chardonnay. Amanda across from him raised her glass and Ben followed with his Coke in a tall glass. Roland hesitated a moment to search for the words, and tried to control his emotions. "This is for you Amanda. I'm so proud that you have conquered your depression, and played that piece today like a master cellist."

"Me too," Ben added. "I'm happy you are feeling…well more like yourself mom."

She was proud of herself playing at this afternoon's concert. She hadn't played an instrument in a professional capacity for more than a year. This was a huge step in recovering from her clinical depression, and they all knew it. Amanda felt as if she were about to cry, but she controlled herself. "Thank you. Both of you. I don't…no I know I couldn't do it without the two of you." They clinked glasses and took a sip in her honor.

"I want to make another toast," Roland raised his glass and turned to his right. "To Ben. It hasn't been easy the last couple years and I just wanted to tell you how proud of you I am."

Ben saw that his father was getting emotional about this and had to ask, "Why. I mean why now?"

"You turned yourself around after some difficult times in high school. You graduated from North Seattle which was if'y for a time." The three grinned remembering Ben started off badly at the community college. "Now you're at UW. Your mother and I are just happy that things are working out."

Amanda grabbed Ben's hand and smiled, "I think you coming around helped me with my illness." Ben didn't know what to say he was somewhat overwhelmed with their praise. They clinked glasses and each took a sip. Only seconds later a waiter served them their entrées. Ben had the filet mignon with béarnaise, and his parents had the swordfish. Ben soon took a slice of the choice meat into his mouth and enjoyed the mixture of flavors. He suddenly spotted a familiar figure close to the entrance. Andrew, Ms. Young's boyfriend was talking with the hostess. He corrected himself thinking he wasn't her boyfriend it was just a first date a week ago. What was he doing here he wondered? Andrew's mother did live practically down the street. Was Monica here too? His heart longed for just a glimpse of her, but his head knew that could be disastrous here.

"How is it Ben," his father asked.

He quickly turned to his father, "What? Oh yeah it's great. Here," he began to cut a modest slice for each of them to taste. He quickly looked back up to monitor Andrew, but he was gone now. Ben relaxed now that he had left because he still had said nothing to his parents about Ms. Young being back in Seattle. Not to mention her currently being his English professor. He wasn't sure how they would react, but was fairly confident it wouldn't be a pleasant discovery for them.

"Here Ben," his mother placed a sample of her meal on his plate. He ate the swordfish, "Delicious. Thanks."

He was about to take a sip of his soda when his father spoke up annoyed. "No Ben. You can't wash that down with a Coke. Take a sip of my wine."

He smiled, "Oh, yeah ok." He began to taste the white wine when Andrew walked back in and Ms. Young followed inside behind him. Ben choked as he wasn't paying attention to the liquid invading his air way.

"Whoa, whoa, are you all right," Roland asked with concern.

"Yeah," Ben coughed while handing back the glass. He wiped his mouth with his napkin watching the couple at the front of the restaurant converse.

Once Ben was clearly all right Amanda decided to make a small joke. "You're like your father. You never could hold you're liquor." His parents laughed as Roland poured his wife more wine. Ben was too shocked to listen and focused on Ms. Young. She was wearing a full length red coat and black gloves on this cold Friday night. Andrew looked good with his dark hair, dark jacket and tie. They were holding hands he noticed, and smiling, which made him sick. He saw Monica looking at him, but at this distance and lighting there was no way she could see him. There were about 35, or 40 tables in the place, and it had filled up nicely since the Conner's had arrived. Ben was excited to see her and realized his heart rate had elevated.

He snapped out of his gaze, and scanned the restaurant for empty tables. There were only two, far from them across the dinning room. It was just then he became very uncomfortable as he watched the person who was seated next to them just minutes ago get up and leave. Holy sht he said to himself you've got to be kidding me. He watched as the hostess holding two menus began walking towards them with Andrew and Monica following. He had to leave he thought; pretend to be sick or something. Instead the terror froze him as the hostess seated them right next to his parents while he sat across and faced the young couple. Ben's mother sat on a leather booth style bench that lined the wall and five tables. Ms. Young slid in no more than three feet away from Amanda's side. Andrew sat in a chair across from Monica and no more than three feet from Roland's side. It had only been a few seconds that Ben was frozen, but it seemed like hours watching this train wreck develop.

Finally after ten seconds of them sitting he tried to move, "Ben?"

He looked like a deer caught in a car's head lights when Andrew recognized him and spoke his name. Monica was unbuttoning her coat when she heard Andrew say his name. She looked up and saw him sitting at the table, and his parents looking at her. She couldn't believe she hadn't spotted Ben when they sat down. Andrew got up to shake is hand, "Everything work out with the car?"

"Uh, yeah," he said weakly why he shook his hand. Ms. Young desperately wanted to leave, but wasn't sure how. Ben's parents had never met her even during the scandal, but they definitely remembered her name. She knew she should have told Andrew no to this restaurant or any location near Ben's home.

Ben's parents looked at him waiting for him to introduce them to this person who obviously knew him. "Yeah, this is Andrew, he works at the college. This is my father Roland, and my mother Amanda." They shook hands.

"I'm dating Monica too," Andrew pointed to her. Ben couldn't believe she hadn't gotten up and left, but it was too late now.

"Hello," Amanda said as she smiled.

Andrew was confused, "I thought you all knew each other?" Roland and Amanda shook their heads to indicate they did not. "She dated your eldest son?" He was just repeating what Monica told him the night they gave Ben a ride. Monica put her head in her hands as there was nothing she could do now.

"Sam," Roland asked a bit puzzled. "We don't have much contact with him."

Still confused Andrew said, "She was Ben's English teacher in high school. I thought you were all friends?"

Amanda's face changed from one of happiness to one of anger. Roland was simply dumbfounded. They both realized this was Ms. Monica Young, high school English teacher; the woman who stole their baby boy's innocence. They both understood why Ben got involved as they acknowledged her beauty to themselves. Amanda didn't want to think about what she had made Ben take part in. It was silent for several moments only the sound of the restaurant could be heard, but completely tuned out by the five individuals.

"Is there some kind of problem," Andrew asked while even more confused than before.

Amanda quickly turned her head to face him, "There certainly is."

Monica finally stood with welled up eyes, "Andrew lets go please; I'll explain in the car."

Roland turned around to face Ben, "Did you know she was back in Seattle?" He didn't say anything, but grimaced and nodded his head signaling he did know.

Monica grabbed Andrew's hand and pleaded, "Please Andy; lets go?"

He thought he was defending her, but he just made it worse. "Well of course she's in Seattle she teaches at UW," he stood up as he said it.

"Oh my God; you're teaching again," Amanda was shocked. "You should be in jail," she declared.

"Ben why didn't you tell us? Has she contacted you," his father asked with some anxiety.

"I'm in her English class," he muttered.

"Jail?" Andrew looked at Ms. Young, "Monica what are they talking about?"

She had tears run down her face now that everything was unraveling. Her boyfriend, her job, and possibly her freedom where all in jeopardy. "I'm leaving," she said in anguish.

Ben's father turned back around to face her. "No you're not going anywhere."


	6. Episode 3 Total Melt Down 2

"That's right; we'll call the police," Ben's mother threatened.

She stopped and returned to her seat and her boyfriend did the same realizing this was serious. He was shocked Monica had another secret and this time it involved jail. Normally he would comfort her, but he was stunned, and he still had no idea what was going on.

Roland, always the rock and center of reason spoke, "Everyone calm down for a minute." The waiter came by and asked, "Can I get anyone anything?"

"Another bottle of wine," Amanda quickly requested.

Andrew raised his hand, "Bourbon on the rocks."

No one else even looked at the waiter as they all dreaded the situation. Ben's father leaned on his elbows thinking how to proceed. Andrew couldn't take it anymore. "Monica? Please tell me these people are nuts or something."

Ben's mother was outraged by his comment. "Your girlfriend raped our son when he was 16." Just when he didn't think he could be more surprised tonight, his entire world was just thrown down the garbage disposable.

"Mom calm down. It wasn't that way at all."

Just then the waiter put down Andrew's drink which he promptly upped before the waiter finished opening the Conner's Chardonnay. Roland told the waiter they didn't need to taste the wine and he would pour it himself as Andrew requested another drink. Ben's father was about to speak when Amanda confronted Ms. Young. "You broke your promise with Mr. Miller. You said you would never teach again. These are children…"

"Mom they're college students not children," Ben replied with an annoyed voice.

Andrew had to ask, "So it's true? You had a sexual relationship with a high school student?" He emphasized the word sexual to clarify his utter dismay.

"Please Andy…it wasn't as bad as she's describing," Monica reached for his hand, but he pulled back. She stared at Andrew with her mouth open in shock as another tear rolled down her cheek.

"Ms. Young why are you back here teaching,"' Roland calmly asked.

She didn't respond for a few moments still in a trance. She then quickly turned her head towards Ben's father and decided to finally defend herself. "Because I love teaching, and I'm good at it," she began wiping her face with the napkin on the table. She continued in her superior tone, "I finished my education, and I got a job at the university. I haven't stepped inside a high school, and I don't date anyone younger than myself." She turned to face Ben's mother, "Rape? How dare you. It was a coessential relationship built over a several weeks." Andrew almost passed out with that blunt confirmation.

"You were the adult," Amanda angrily shot back.

"Yes," Monica acknowledged that and looked down at the table. Her voice weakened, "I was wrong, and it was a horrendous mistake." Ben didn't like hearing that, and he wanted to help her, but decided to stay out of it.

Confused Ben's father asked, "What is this about Sam?"

"Yes, we were involved for a very short time. Another one of my disastrous mistakes that I truly regret." She looked at Ben as she finished her sentence. He subtly nodded indicating to her it was ok. The waiter delivered Andrew's second drink, and he quickly took a sip.

"You're sick, and obsessed with my children." Ms. Young just stared at Ben's mother after that statement.

Ben had to say something now, "Mom will you calm down. Ms. Young has already told me she's the teacher, I'm the student and that's it."

Both his parents turned towards him. "How much contact have you had," his father asked.

"One conversation after class; just to settle things.

"Things?" his mother inquired. He was about to speak, but she stopped him, "I don't want to know." She looked at her husband, "We should call Mr. Miller. See what he suggests to do. At least before we call the police," she glared at Ms. Young as she stated the threat of legal action.

"Mom…"

"Please don't," Ms. Young begged while putting her hands to her mouth.

"Hold on a minute," Roland put his hands up to silence everyone. "This is rather shocking news for us."

"No sht," Andrew spoke up, and then downed the rest of his drink.

"We need some time to absorb all of this," he raised his eyebrows as he said it. "I think," he looked at his wife and son. "As a family we need to discuss this and decide what this all means." He turned towards Ms. Young, "When we do decide what to do; call Mr. Miller, the police, or something else. I promise you we will notify you of our decision before we act on it."

Ms. Young sniffled as she straightened her posture, "Thank you. That's more than fair Mr. Conner."

Ben's mother spoke up, "Remember what she did Roland."

"I know Amanda, but we need to be careful." She didn't understand, but reluctantly agreed with her husband.

Andrew stood up as he prepared to leave, "Well thank for possibly one of the most interesting evenings of my life." He turned towards Monica, "Goodbye Monica." He tossed some cash on the table for the drinks and left.

He proceeded to walk out of the restaurant, "Andrew, please?" Monica pleaded with him as she followed him out.

The more he thought about it the angrier Andrew became. He quickly felt the cold air of the night – more fog he thought. "Andy…Andrew please let me explain," she asked in a desperate voice while hastily trying to keep up with his long strides.

He finally stopped walking and looked up at the one quarter moon as a car drove by. "Do you really believe there is anything you can say that can fix the situation?"

"Please look at me Andy." He sighed and turned to face her as she walked closer. "I know I can't change what happened." She put her hands together both in a black glove as she was about to pray. It took her a moment to search for the right words. "It wasn't some sick little fling like Mrs. Conner said. It was a huge mistake between two people infatuated with each other."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I just wanted you to know…" she took a second to find the right words. Calmly she spoke, "I wanted you to know I'm not some mentally perverted deviant."

He just looked at her – wondering – how could this classy, funny, and intelligent beauty be so messed up. They hadn't known each other very long, but their relationship had started off comfortably and progressed nicely. He thought he knew her, this lovely brunette who he had cooked for just the other night in her apartment, and latter she read him poetry while they sipped port wine with chocolates. He remembered a couple times that night about maybe some day having a future with her. He had never had that thought about any woman before. With a caring voice he responded, "I never thought you were some deviant."

"I'll tell you everything; no more secrets," she explained as a car's bright lights flashed on them as it quickly went by.

"There's more?"

"No. Nothing I swear," she declared.

"I thought I knew you Monica."

"Let me show you, please Andrew," she pleaded with an obvious tone of desperation. He sighed and looked up at the moon thinking what to do. Monica realized he was quickly slipping through her fingers. She had many of the same feelings he had, but had not expressed them yet worried it was too fast.

"I think we should give each other some space for a while," he said in a sad voice. "I need to think. I haven't absorbed all of this, and we have no idea what the Conner's are going to do." She couldn't believe what she was hearing, she couldn't believe the last ten minutes, as her life was just destroyed in that time. Andrew was being honest he needed time to think things over, but Monica took his statement as if he were ending their relationship. Visions of the boiler room with Ben crudely dumping her for Sue flashed through her head. She so badly wanted to cry, but refused to in front of him.

"Sure. If that's what you wish," she responded quietly. "Can I drive you to your mother's?"

He was a little surprised she suddenly gave up, and was even a little disappointed. He almost answered yes, but decided against it. "No. I could use the time to think."

"All right; I understand," she looked down as she answered meekly.

"Goodbye Monica," he began walking down the sidewalk.

She didn't say anything she just watched him leave. She pulled out a cigarette and tried to light it, but when Andrew disappeared in the darkness she quickly was overwhelmed by her emotions, and began to uncontrollably cry. She leaned over and wept.

The Conner's came outside upset at the confrontation that had just occurred. They worried for their son and were disappointed he hadn't been honest with them. Ben was right behind them following up the side walk when he heard the crying behind him. He stopped and turned to see Monica standing on the side walk with her face in her hands crying. He just stared at her and wondered what to do. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be all right – but he couldn't. He had no idea what his parents were going to do. What was Sam going to tell them? He couldn't believe how completely out control things had gotten. "Ben," his father called him off in the darkness behind him. Monica heard his name and looked up. Their eyes met as they had numerous times and the same power of attraction was there. She knew he wanted to help, but it would just make things worse.

"I'm sorry Monica," he turned and walked away. She mouthed the same words, but he never saw them. She continued to cry as she slowly walked to her car.


	7. Episode 3 Total Melt Down 3

Dino struggled with his end of the white sofa as he backed into the apartment. "God dmn this couch is heavy."

"Move dude, Ben commanded struggling with the other end still outside the door.

"Oh yeah, there's a pull out bed inside," Jonathan helpfully explained as he worked on hooking up the TV.

Suddenly the two struggling moved quickly to the wall the sofa was supposed to sit up against. They crashed against the wall and basically dropped the sofa. "No broken toes Ben yelled and laughed."

"Dmn it! Ben will fcking worn me next time," Dino complained.

"Hey guys that's a brand new couch will you be careful, Debs picked that out herself." Ben and Dino just collapsed on the sofa trying to recover.

Jonathan was never able to convince Debra to move into an apartment with three guys. The more he thought about it the dumber the idea was, not to mention the strain that would be applied on their relationship. It was his father that came up with an almost perfect solution. Through his many real-estate contacts in the city he found a duplex close to the college in foreclosure. It was a perfect investment opportunity and who better to rent to than his son? Jon would be responsible for the basic up keep of the building and landscaping, but the rent was dirt cheap for the area. It turned out to be in a perfect community for students. It was close to the campus and known as Rager's Row due to the endless block parties during the warm part of the year. The community had no official ties with the university, but more than half the homes there were rented out to students.

It was a nice place as well one apartment on the bottom which Jonathan and Debra would occupy with Ben and Dino above. The bottom apartment had one bedroom which was quite large, a small kitchen, family room, a small dining room, and one full bathroom. They entered the place from a side door that led out to the driveway which led to a small garage basically used for storage. Upstairs were two bedrooms, not large, but not small, one bathroom, a family room and a small kitchen. The only decorating of the light beige and rust trimmed structure was the ugly green wall to wall shag carpeting. The place was defiantly no frills, but it would be perfect.

Jonathan finished hooking up the stereo components when Ben and Dino began a chant. "We want beer, we want beer," they clapped and bounced on the sofa while they yelled.

Jon looked up annoyed, "You two get your own dmn beers." This was the third time today during the move they protested for beer. The ice chest in the kitchen was full of it; they just didn't want to get it themselves.

"We want beer, we want beer!"

"Fine," he walked into the kitchen, grabbed two Miller Drafts, and handed them to his friends. "ssholes."

Dino pretended to cry to mock Jon. Ben spoke up, "Dude I ditched my classes today to move your sht."

Jonathan was surprised by that, "What are you talking about? You moved your sht today too."

He replied "Yeah, well…" he suddenly was caught by surprise when his beer exploded as he twisted the cap. Dino laughed hysterically and then looked at his beer deciding he would wait to open it. "You son-of-btch Jonathan! Look," Ben pointed to the floor. "You're ruining your dad's carpet you know? I'm going tell him too," he jokingly threatened as he took a quick sip. Jon flipped him off. Ben leaned against the wall and sighed, "Thank God that was the last piece."

"So Ben," Jon was going to stick it back to Ben. "What's the story with your parents and Ms. Young being your English teacher?" Dino left to fetch two fresh and unshaken beers.

"I have no idea, but my mom is totally pissed about the whole thing."

Dino came back and handed Ben a Miller. "You think they'll turn her in," Dino asked as he sat down.

"God I hope not; she's gone through enough. I told them I wouldn't cooperate with the cops. I'd deny everything. Can you guys imagine some kind of weird trial?" Ben twisted the top of the fresh beer and this one exploded as well. "God dmn you Dino," he screamed while standing drenched in beer.

He was a second from lunging across the room to thrash on Dino when Debra walked in from outside. "Hey guys?" They all responded, but she thought something weird was going on by their reactions. Jonathan stopped working on the stereo system and walked over to kiss Debra. "Everything all right?"

"Oh yeah we're cool; we've got everything inside," Jonathan happily explained.

"Oh great. Well I picked up lunch for you guys; I hope pastrami and Swiss from Togo's is all right," Debra asked. They all indicated enthusiastically that was fine. They quickly dragged boxes around to create a makeshift coffee table in front the sofa. Ben handed everyone a fresh beer, but Dino and Jonathan decided to wait on opening theirs. Ben and Jonathan sat on the floor unwrapping their sandwiches, as did Dino and Debra sitting on the couch.

So Ben how did you're date with Katie go," Dino asked as he chewed.

"Oh a date Ben," Debra asked hoping for some juicy details as she took a sip.

"It was just a study group. It was all right."

Debra laughed, "You know that's how a lot serious relationships start," she looked lovingly at Jon. "Where did you meet this girl?"

"English," he finished off his beer and placed the bottle on the packing box.

"Are you going out again," Jonathan asked and then took a large bite.

Ben had a confused look, "Dude we haven't really gone out yet. Yeah I'd like to go out on a real date."

"Well I've got it," Jonathan said excitedly and got on his knees. "Do a double date with me and Deb's tonight at The Marquee."

"The what," Dino asked as he ate.

"It's a new hot club in the financial district. Debs has a friend that'll get us in."

Ben looked at Debra, "Really?"

"Yeah. Trisha, she works there. You want to come?"

He thought about it, but knew he couldn't go. He had homework that was due tomorrow, and he didn't know if Katie could go out on a Monday night anyway – after all she was a freshman. "No I can't, but thanks."

"I've got a date," Dino chimed in.

Jonathan thought for a second, "Well the offer stands for you as well D." Debra nodded in agreement and took a bite of food.

"Thanks for the offer, but I want to keep it low key for a first date."

"Where'd you meet her," Ben asked.

"I was working and she ordered some food. Next thing I know she asked me out." Ben shook his head thinking how easy it was for Dino. Dino was surprised how much he was enjoying this little lunch the four where having. He didn't get too emotional, or over analyze things often, but this was simply nice he thought. He decided to make a toast, "Ok, ok, can I say some thing?" They all tapped on their bottles mocking Dino's sudden compassionate tone. "Ha, ha," he stood up. "I know I'm not a genius, or a philosopher," they all laughed surprised he even knew what that was. "I just wanted to say that this is really nice…good friends, good food," he lifted his beer in Debra's direction. "And a new home. I don't know how it's all going to work out…I just hope we have some fun." The other three weren't really sure what to think because Dino didn't really communicate this way. Maybe it was him moving or his parents divorcing, but it seemed like a new level of maturity. They all clinked bottles and drank.

He then let out a huge belch and told Ben, "It's time to go btch." Everyone thought there's the old - and average Dino – they all knew and tolerated.

"All right lets go," Ben got up and carried what was left of his sandwich.

"Oh you guys have to go," Jonathan asked.

"Yeah we just tossed our stuff in upstairs" Dino explained.

Ben opened the door and faced Jon, "Yeah I've got to hook up my computer before I can do any home work; TV too. See ya Deb," he waved as he walked out.

"Bye guys," Dino waved as he walked out and shut the door behind him. They both walked around the front and up the stairs. "So Ben when should we have our first party – Wednesday?" Dino giggled as he thought about it.

"Oh God it's already starting," Ben whispered as he shook his head disbelief.

Ms. Young was in her office this Monday morning trying to grade papers, but couldn't concentrate. She was borderline paranoid waiting for the Conner's to decide what to do. She had visions of the police walking into her office ready to handcuff her and charge her with God knows what. The weekend had passed with no word from Ben's parents. She wanted so much to call him, assuming his cell phone number hadn't changed, but that would be evidence of her contacting him.

"Awfully quiet today Monica?"

She spun around in her chair to face Jesse at her desk. The two shared the small office with another instructor and their three desks where lined up one behind the other. The room was longer than it was wide, and each large wooden desk was up against the wall on its right side. This left about three feet on the other side to move from the front, where Ms. Young sat, to the back. While small it had windows at the back which let in a ton of light that reflected off the white walls. "I'm sorry a lot has been going on."


	8. Episode 3 Total Melt Down 4

"You can't tell your best friend?" Monica had met Jesse the first day she arrived at UW several months before this semester. She had no idea what to do when she arrived, and desperately needed someone to take her under their wing. Jesse was more than happy to help Monica out. Jesse Moreau age 30 had lost her younger sister a year ago in a car crash, and Monica reminded her of her sister. They immediately got along as if they had known each other for years. They even looked a like with similar hair; facial features, figure, although Jesse was a bit taller. Often people asked if they were related which they loved. She was currently a professor of literature and had been at the university for three years.

She sighed and answered, "Andrew broke it off."

"Really? Why? I'm so sorry honey."

Monica couldn't tell her about Ben, or his parent's decision she was waiting for. "I guess it's me; I'm the problem."

Jesse felt bad for her and blurted out, "Andy's a prck!" They both started laughing and for a minute Monica could relax. Suddenly she spotted Jesse motioning that someone was behind her. She spun around with a smile and was surprised to see Ben standing at the entrance, "Ben?" Oh my God she thought he came to tell her the bad news. She had to force herself to stay calm, maybe it wasn't bad news she thought he didn't look upset. "What can I do for you?"

"Whoa," Ben said, as he stared at the two beauties. They both knew what he was thinking as the two had their hair in pony tails today so they looked even more a like than usual. "Professor Young, I didn't know you had a sister."

Jesse jumped up to open a file cabinet, "I'm the younger one."

"You wish," Monica said while laughing which she was faking. Ben was surprised how relaxed she was. She cleared her throat and quickly changed into her teacher demeanor, "Is there something you need?"

He hadn't expected anyone else to be here and he tried to cover. "Uh, yeah, that paper I was talking about…"

"Oh yes. I was going to have a smoke; do you mind if we talk about it on the patio?" She was always a better liar, and could always put on a superior front compared to Ben.

Jesse watched this uncomfortable exchange carefully as she poured herself some coffee. She knew Monica very well and something was up she thought. It didn't help that she was so bored this Monday afternoon that she just couldn't resist messing with her friend. "Oh Professor Young?"

Monica's eyes widened when she heard that. Jesse never used the professor title not even around students. She uncomfortably smiled at her best friend knowing this was going to be bullsht, "Yes."

"Do you want me to fetch you when your home pregnancy test shows some results?" Jesse could barely contain her laughter, and had to look down at the floor.

One part of Monica was horrified while the other part wanted to burst out laughing. Her friend knew how to get her mind off of things one way or the other. Ben was totally dismayed as the only thing he could think was Andrew. Oh my God he thought was she having his child? For Christ sake it was a first date just a week ago he almost yelled out loud. Ms. Young looked at Ben uncomfortably while smiling, and shook her head to let him know it wasn't true. "Ben, please ignore Professor Moreau, she's is clearly back to pouring more than enough NyQuil in her coffee. How long has this cold lasted…seven months?"

"Ouch," Jesse said laughing impressed by Monica's come back.

Ms. Young grabbed her purse and glared at Jesse, "I won't be long; you might want to sober up before your next class."

"Ouch again!"

Ben waved uncomfortably to Jesse as he followed Ms. Young. Ben let out a sigh of relief as the two walked out on to the patio. "I know," Monica acknowledged that she felt the same way. They stood at the edge admiring the beautiful view during another sunny day. They waited for a jetliner to cruise by before they spoke which gave Monica time to light up a cigarette.

Ben was still somewhat confused by the odd ball conversation back in her office. He put his hand through his hair as asked, "So the pregnancy test, that's…"

"Not true," she reassured him as she exhaled.

"Is Professor Moreau always that…"

"Out there? Jesse is trying to cheer me up." She looked at Ben who still had a stunned look on his face, "I guess she went a little over board. I'm sorry Ben," she spoke compassionately.

He relaxed a bit, "She seems kind of wild. Pretty too."

"Don't get any ideas Ben Conner." Her hasty response was drenched in jealousy which shocked her, and Ben.

"Sorry." He waited a few seconds while Monica took another hit off her cigarette. "I wanted to say I'm sorry about what happened at the restaurant."

"It wasn't your fault," she consoled. "You probably shouldn't come by my office anymore," she winced when she said it feeling bad about it.

He nodded in agreement, "Ok I'm sorry. I just thought you'd want some information."

"I'm not sure if I want to know. What did your parents decide?"

"They haven't made a decision yet."

"Couldn't you have said that immediately Ben? I'm kind of freaking out here," she said excitedly. She grabbed his arm to emphasize her frustration.

"You're right I'm sorry." She pulled out another cigarette and lit it up. "Monica, have you considered quitting that habit?"

"Now? Are you kidding? I couldn't possibly quit now with your parents and…," she stopped out of frustration. "You could have called me on my phone for this," she pointed out.

He wanted to see her though he was worried about her. "I know. I told my parents that I wouldn't cooperate if they went to the police. I'm going to protect you...this time. I'm sorry for not doing that last time," he finished off in a sad voice as he looked down guilty.

"It's ok."

"No it wasn't Monica."

"Thank you…that's sweet of you." She grimaced and said, "I better get back to work."

"I've got a class too," he uncomfortably said. They both left and they each said goodbye as he passed her office and she entered it.

Ms. Young sat down at her desk and sighed. She started on her papers again when Jesse spoke up. "So how did the student go, I mean meeting," she almost laughed out loud when she tripped up on her words.

"Oh fine we worked it out, despite your antics."

"He's cute…wouldn't you say?" Jesse was bored and was having some more fun at Monica's expense as she really considered her a younger sister.

She sat up straight as she wondered where this was going. "He's a student I don't really think about it."

"Oh come on he's hot. You better be careful Monica."

She suddenly got worried. Did Jesse know something or did Ben give something away? She spun in her chair, "You've lost me Jes."

Jesse began typing on her laptop and grinning. "He totally has a crush on you."

Ben did give something away, but this seems pretty innocent. She blushed, "Do you think so?"

"Oh yeah, definitely." She looked up, "What are going to do?"

Monica was confused, "What do you mean?"

"When he makes his move," Jesse replied in a hushed voice.

She laughed thinking her friend was nuts and just messing with her now. "Ok you're a real comedian Jes."

"No really; he will. You better be ready."

Monica decided to turn the tables. "Let's say a student came on to you. What would you do?" She was hoping Jesse would stew with that a bit, but she had an answer fairly quickly.

"Him you mean?"

"Sure."

"I'd probably go for it," Jesse explained and laughed with almost an evil tone.

She turned around back to her desk and started working; figuring her friend was just talking crazy. She did continue to think about it though as Ben kept coming around. He was now entering her thoughts more and more. She often would just start day dreaming about him, or remembering the good times at Woodrow Wilson.

"Monica?" She didn't respond as she thought about Ben. "Monica?"

"Yeah, sorry. What?"

"What would you do if Ben made a pass at you?"

She turned around, "Ok I'm changing the conversation as you're getting a bit out there – even for you." Jesse stuck her tongue out at her. "What are you doing tonight?"

"I have a hot date with my bath tub and a new trashy sex novel – "Doing It". Ever read it?"

Monica shook her head indicating she had not. "Dmn it."

"What?"

Still in her chair on wheels Monica leaned on Jesse's desk, "Andrew had tickets to a new club downtown, some promotional thing for the IT department. Well I have the tickets now, and…"

"Hun, normally I'd love to go, but I'm just too tired." Monica was disappointed and expressed it. "Go. You should go Monica. Screw Andy. You go and have fun; maybe you'll meet someone."

"Really?"

"Go!"

"I don't know I'll have to think about it."


	9. Episode 3 Total Melt Down 5

Jonathan and Debra walked up to the entrance of the relatively new night club "The Marquee". They were very excited seeing all the people trying to get in through the multiple double door entrances. Debra pulled out her phone and contacted her friend Trisha who worked at the club. Trisha soon appeared and had some of the numerous security staff to allow them through. Jon figured it was one of Deb's friends with the green hair and nose ring. She led them down the stairs along with many other patrons. They thanked Trisha many times for getting them in as she escorted them to the main hall. They continued down the large hallway which was carpeted like a convention center, or lobby of a large hotel. They knew they were going in the right direction as the kick and punch rhythm of the electronica music grew louder. "Ok you two have fun and stay out of trouble – or get into trouble – whatever you two prefer."

"Thank you again Trisha," Debra said. "I love your new hair color."

"Thanks Deb, but your classic jet black looks great as always." They hugged and Trisha returned to her job.

As the couple entered the main room they were truly impressed by its size, and they had to stop at the top of the stairs to take it all in. They would never know how large it really was due to the darkness throughout which was incessantly interrupted by the deep blue, and brilliant white lighting effects. They watched the sea of people dance about looking like the tide of an ocean. Many had blue and white light sticks out there which gave off a floating effect. There was a large square shaped bar further off, but it looked diamond shape the way it was positioned towards the elevated stage which had a band setting up. The bar had its counters lit up white while the rest had and eerie blue light wash over it. The tech-effect music from the DJ was so loud they could no longer communicate once they started walking down the stairs. Jonathan took Debra's hand and led her through the crowd of a couple hundred people he thought. They arrived at the bar operated by a couple dozen bartenders serving the large crowd of people drinks and appetizers.

They were lucky to find an empty ccktail table and sat down. They still had to spend a full seven minutes to take it all in. Finally Jonathan yelled, "You want something to drink?" He had to yell right in her ear in order for to understand him.

"Yes. Bacardi Breezer is fine," she yelled back.

He walked up to the huge bar lit up in white, and bathed in blue. It was very busy doing business, but Jon didn't have to wait long while he was entertained by the loud music and light show."

"What do you need," a bartender yelled.

"Two Bacardi Breezers." The bartender left to hunt down the beverages. Jon looked around wondering how he was going to get any pictures from here – it would be impossible under these conditions. It reminded him of Cesar's Palace in the middle of a lighting storm. He was watching all the beautiful people dancing when the bartender placed the drinks on the counter. Jonathan paid the bill and began to leave when he noticed something. Directly across the bar which was some distance he could have sworn he saw some one familiar. It was somewhat difficult to see peoples' faces the way the counters beamed with light. They lit up a person's body, but barely the face. You could see facial features, but with an odd effect. It allowed people to stay hidden almost like if they were at a masked ball. He placed the view finder of his camera to his eye and searched. It wasn't easy with all the distractions. "C'mon, c'mon, where are you," he found her and zoomed in, "Whoa." He grabbed the two bottles and walked back to his table. "Hey, here you go Deb's," he didn't have to yell since the DJ was between tracks.

"Thank you roomy," she took a sip. "Isn't this place simply wicked," she asked.

"Its totally awesome; I'm totally impressed. Uh, I have to…"

"I can hardly wait for the band to start."

Jon was confused, "Band?" He hadn't looked at the stage too closely when they came in.

Deb looked up at him and smiled, "Oh yeah. "Skindive" is playing tonight. I kept it a secret."

Jonathan sat down and excitedly declared, "You're kidding me? I love them!"

"I know," she laughed and then took a sip.

"This is amazing," he took a large gulp of his Breezer. He suddenly remembered the bar. "Oh I forgot my change I'll be right back." He quickly walked back to the bar, but he moved in closer to where he last spotted the familiar figure. There she was she hadn't moved, but he had a much better view now. "Jesus…it is Ms. Young," he whispered. He watched her up the rest of her ccktail and then signal to the bartender for another. He decided to move to another position as he had to see what she was wearing. He walked around the bar and filtered in amongst the people dancing behind where she sat. Jon was probably 75 feet away from her, maybe more, but he had an excellent view. She was standing at the bar, and surprisingly there was plenty of space in that area. She started to causally dance once the music fired up again. "Oh my God," he couldn't believe her slow and seductive movements. He could finally see what she was wearing once the lighting bounced of her body. A blood red dress with halter neckline, and backless silhouette. "God she has nice shoulders," he whispered as she raised her hands up through her long hair. He continued to watch as she slowly brought her hands down over the contours of her body while she slowly rocked her hips. He now noticed the dress stopped about mid thigh where the black fishnet stockings continued on all ending in red pumps complete with ankle strap. "Jesus Christ she's literally dressed to kill tonight." Jonathan couldn't take it anymore when he spotted the black lace choker around her neck.

Jonathon flipped his phone open and hit Ben on the speed dial. Ben was working on his computer finally able to finish up some homework. He had made good progress and was actually finishing up a home work assignment for Ms. Young's class. He started to think about her which was happening more and more. He began remembering the first instant he knew she wanted him. "Behind the tent," he said to himself. It was the kiss in her car that hooked him though; she had the same pony tail then that she had today when he talked to her in her office. God those memories are a million years ago. He was just about to arouse himself through his jeans while fantasying about Monica when his cell rang. He quickly stood up, "God dmnit; I'm trying to get some privacy here," he yelled. "Hello," he said annoyed.

"Ben? Jonathan dude."

"Hey? How's the club?"

"Oh yeah. Well it's pretty awesome dude. I mean really cool. They're going to have a pretty slick band playing soon. Anyway, listen I think there is something you need to know."

"Ok, what?"

"You'll never guess who is here?"

Ben thought about it, and it was obvious, "Dino and his date? How does she look?"

"Not even close. Well close, but not really. Forget that. Think really hard; I wouldn't call about just anyone."

Ben paced around in his room putting his hand through his hair as he thought about Jon's question. No way, he thought, it couldn't be. "Don't tell me it's Ms. Young?"

"Ok I won't; but she is here. She looks like she's ready to party."

Dmn he said to himself. What was she doing there he wondered. He then sat back down and thought why wouldn't she? Monica is an adult why can't she go out and have fun? "Ok, so what," he asked annoyed and began to type on his computer keyboard.

"I'm worried. Otherwise I wouldn't have said anything till later."

Ben stopped typing and was slightly alarmed rather than jealous, "You're worried? About what?"

Jonathan didn't answer as he watched Ms. Young receive her next drink which she quickly took a hefty gulp of. "Listen dude she's dressed really hot, and drinking like a fish. I mean seriously; she's drinking some kind of ccktail with no ice, and fast." The band came out on stage and the crowd went crazy, "Hello Seattle," the female lead vocalist yelled.

Ben could hear all the commotion, "Jonathan?"

"Ben," Jon yelled.

"Jonathan, do me a favor, will you watch her for me. Make sure she's ok?"

Jon rolled his eyes, "What?"

"Her boyfriend is probably there dude; just keep an eye on her - ok?"

"Oh yeah," he hung up. "Like I got nothing else to do."

Ben continued to complete his home work for about ten minutes when an instant message window opened up. 'Katie : hey, got a minute?' If it had been anyone else Ben would have said no. He immediately began to think about the beautiful blue eyed blond. She was a beauty too; UW tennis team, co-captain of the swim team – most impressive for a freshman. Over the years the water had polished her muscular frame as the sun had tanned it. Simply stunning he thought, Ben : 'hi Katie, how's it going?'

Katie : 'great. i just wanted 2 let u know how much fun i had the other night.'

Ben : 'don't u mean study group?'

Katie : 'u know what i mean.'

Ben : 'i'm kidding. I had a great time. when do we do it again?'

Katie : 'i was thinking maybe next time we could go on a date. dinner? movie?'


	10. Episode 3 Total Melt Down 6

"Holy sht," he whispered and then took a sip of his soda. Ben : 'yeah, i'd love 2. when?'

Katie : 'Saturday?'

Ben : 'i'm free that night.'

Katie : 'awsome! I'll let u know then. Thanks again 4 helping me on my english paper. i already finished it. thank god both our classes are reading taming of the shrew.'

That made him feel good; she didn't think he was an idiot. She actually respected his opinion. Ben : 'ur welcome. i'm glad i could help. i'm looking 4ward to our next meeting.'

Katie : 'goodbye, xoxo.'

Ben : 'bye Katie.'

That conversation made his day, and he continued to think about her trying to finish his home work. After 30 minutes he was done, and started printing everything out. He saw Ms. Young's name on the hard copy and he realized he hadn't thought about her in almost 45 minutes; that was actually a new record. His cell rang, "Hello?"

"Ben?"

"Now what," he yelled.

"It's worse. That's three drinks in little over an hour."

Ben looked at his clock on his desk, "Jesus, 11:30, she's got class tomorrow." He began to pace around wondering what the hell to do. "You haven't seen a dark haired guy with her? Six feet, slender, good looking," he hated admitting that part.

Jonathan looked around again as Ms. Young sipped her drink while dancing at her seat. "No, no I haven't seen anyone like that." Jonathan saw some guy get close to Ms. Young while she sipped her drink. She laughed at something he said, and then he walked off. "I think you better get down here. If she's alone there's no way she can drive home. Besides, I'm not sure how much longer I can watch her; Debs once to dance I figured you didn't want her to know Ms. Young teaches at the university."

Jonathan was completely right about that as Ben figured the fewer people who knew about Ms. Young at UW the better – for now. "Ok, ok I'll be there. How I'm going to get in?"

The band finished up a song and Jonathan didn't have to yell as much. "Deb has a friend that works here. Just call me when you get here."

"What's the address," he asked as he changed jeans. Jonathan gave the address and he promptly typed them into Yahoo Maps. "Cool," Ben knew right where the place was. "I'll be there in 20 minutes – later dude."

"See ya." He slipped his phone into his pocket and watched Ms. Young motion for another drink. Where the hell is she putting it? Jon looked at the bartender closest to him, "Hey? That woman over there," he pointed.

"Red dress?"

"Yeah her; what is she drinking?"

The bartender looked closer this time, "Cosmopolitan."

"Strong?"

The bartender looked him up and down, "It would probably kick your ss."

"Ha, ha thanks." He quickly walked back to the table where Deb was seated. "Hey?" The band began on their next song with heavy guitar rifts, blaring keyboard, energetic percussion all wrapped in a techno package.

"Are we going to dance Jonathan?"

"Yeah," he yelled back. "I'm thirsty though; you want another Breezer?"

She stared at him, "What's going on?"

"Nothing?" They both looked up at the stage as the female singers lovely yet powerful voice cut through the battery of roaring instruments. "She's so amazingly clear."

"I know I love it."

"Are you hungry? I sure am; how about an appetizer," he yelled.

She realized she was hungry, and a bit thirsty. "Ok, get a menu, and a dmn Breezer." They both smiled at each other, "Once we eat were dancing. Got it?"

"I promise."

Ben arrived in 20 minutes and found a park in the almost full parking lot. He armed the car's alarm and ran to the entrance area as he contacted Jon. Jonathan showed up with Trisha in about five minutes and she got the troop of bouncers to let Ben through the crowed. "Thanks for getting me in."

"No problem," Trisha responded. "I've got to get back to work. Jon can escort you the rest of the way."

Jonathan led Ben down the stairs and through the large hallway all while the music grew louder. They both entered the giant room and Ben was overwhelmed by the flashing blue and white lights. The music was so loud – way louder than the DJ earlier – there was no point in trying to talk. Jonathan grabbed Ben's arm and guided him to his table through the sea of people.

Debra saw Ben, "Hi," she yelled. She gave him a hug, "I'm glad you changed your mind."

"Yeah me too. This place is unbelievable," Ben yelled.

"Want a drink?" Jon asked.

"Yeah. Definitely," both knew what the other meant.

"Ok Debs, fried calamari, right?" She nodded yes. Ben and Jonathan walked up to the bar. "Two Breezer's," Jon said to the bartender.

"Sam Adams," Ben spoke up. Jon was about to order the appetizer, but the bartender left before he could. "Ok where is she?"

"Right across from us."

Ben looked, but it was difficult to spot her with all the lighting effects. Jonathan pointed, and Ben finally saw her sipping on a drink. "What's she up to?"

"I think four." The bartender came back with the drinks. "Hey can I get a calamari appetizer. Thanks."

Ben stared at her and she looked ready to party like Jon had said earlier. He loved the blood red form fitting dress with black lace choker around her neck. She was casually dancing in a seductive manner by her seat. She was in her own world entertaining herself and enjoying the blaring music. He couldn't help, but be turned on as she raised her hands through her hair and slowly caressed her own body in a dance manner.

Jon could see his friend mesmerized by her, "Wait till you see the rest of her."

Ben continued to stare, "Oh yeah?"

"Black stockings, red heels," Jonathan explained. Ben closed his eyes for several seconds when he heard that. "I know. Ok I gotta get back to Debs. Are you cool here?"

"Yeah and thanks Jon," he yelled. Jonathan gave him a thumb's up and left.

The band started up a new song as Ben took a good swig of his beer. Monica finished her drink. "Oh God I love this song," she yelled at the bartender.

"In For the Kill," he explained.

"I love it; I've got to dance to this," she quickly walked out to the sea of people. Ben was surprised by her sudden departure. He couldn't see her anymore so he decided to move closer, and ended up only a few seats from where she was drinking a moment ago.

It seemed like it took forever to find her in the crowd, but he spotted her and got the full view. "Holy sht," he said to himself. Katie was hot – smoking hot - but Ms. Young was totally on fire he thought. He enjoyed watching the bottom of the red dress move as she placed her hands on her hips and then slowly move them all the way above her head. He so wished he could be out there dancing with her, but he didn't want her to know he was here, he wasn't much of a dancer anyway. Ben thought he could watch her dance all night when suddenly his worst nightmare appeared out of the dark behind Monica. A young guy maybe six feet tall with a totally shaved head. He had on black leather pants and a t-shirt, but the shirt was hanging around his neck. The guy's well developed muscles could easily be seen even from this distance.

He slowly slipped his arms around Monica waist which she did not resist nor seem surprised. "I never thought I would find a Goddess on Earth," he said in her ear.

Ms. Young laughed as she slipped her hands up and around his neck. "Oh that's so bad." They both moved together in the erotic rhythm she had started.

"Well that fits because you're defiantly bad – evil in fact," he responded in a deep gravely voice.

"I'll take that as a compliment," she responded while she laughed to herself. She thought about Andrew leaving her, and she was scared to be alone. Then the Conner's flashed through her mind; what would happen? She didn't care right now she just wanted the pain to go away.

"My name is Vincent."

"Monica."

"You're the most beautiful thing here tonight Monica," he continued to caresses her body and kiss her neck.

Ben's heart was being broken as he watched her let this sleaze in his opinion borderline molest her.

When "In For the Kill" ended Monica grabbed Vincent's hand "C'mon, I'm bored," she dragged him out of the room. Ben upped his beer and followed them as best he could. He ran out of the entrance of "The Marquee" and desperately tried to find her. They lost him in the crowed, but he continued to search in the parking lot. "God dmnit Monica," he said to himself as he became worried. She was very drunk and never did well under stress. He knew his parents determining her entire future was huge. Who wouldn't freak out a bit? Ben desperately searched for her and at the same time wanted to stay hidden. "Sht," he heard her laugh to his left. He moved quickly and moved as stealthily as possible to her location. He found her and recognized her Audi A4. Vincent sat against the hood as they both kissed like animals. Ben almost wanted to cry as he watched Monica kiss Vincent. She pushed him down on the hood of her car, and then climbed up on his body straddling him. She pressed her lips against his, and then kissed his well developed chest. How far was Ben supposed to let this go? Where the hell is Andrew he wondered?


	11. Episode 3 Total Melt Down 7

Ms. Young just wanted to forget all her problems anyway she could. The alcohol wasn't enough to forget Andrew leaving her, and the Conner's debating whether she should only lose her career or goes to jail. Wait till her mother found out she thought. Her mother had disapproved of her as long as she could remember and this would just confirm her beliefs about her daughter. What if there was some kind of circus trial with everyone she knew being dragged into the mess. She just wanted the pain to go away. It would all be different if she had someone she could turn to. She suddenly realized she did have one person – Ben. He said he would deny everything and would refuse to cooperate with the authorities. While miniscule, there was some hope, and she couldn't just throw herself away to this stranger. She attempted to push away from Vincent, but he wasn't giving her any space. "No, I don't want this," she yelled.

"What?"

"Stop," she desperately said. "I don't want this. Let me go please," she cried out.

"What the hell babe," Vincent asked wondering what changed all of the sudden. Ben looked up hearing Monica saying no; he couldn't believe it and had no idea what to do.

She jumped backwards and slid down his body till her feet hit the ground. "Let go," she yelled.

"You're not going anywhere." Vincent sat up, grabbed her arms and pulled her close to him. Ben finally started to move towards them and was becoming angrier by the second. Vincent put his hand around Monica's head and pulled her to him until their lips met. She couldn't scream at first, but finally got out, "NO!"

"The lady said no," Ben yelled as he moved towards them at a quick pace.

Vincent turned his head, "What the fck? Who the hell are you?" Monica was crying uncontrollably in fear for her life at this point. In an aggressive manner Ben continued to move in. Vincent turned and pushed Monica to the ground. She fell on her hands knees with the contents of her purse spilling out all over the parking space. That made Ben want to kill this guy as he watched Monica continue to cry. Once close enough Ben began to bounce around on his toes with his hands up ready to fight if necessary.

Vincent watched Ben move around and scoffed, "What are you some kind of fcking ballerina?"

Ben wondered if he was really going to have to fight this guy. Vincent was as tall as him, but he was much more muscular, and looked like he could fight. "You leave now and I won't call the cops."

"I don't think so dude." Ben wasn't totally unprepared to fight. He had taken three semesters of karate at North Seattle community college where he was the star pupil for two of those. This was built on top of seven years of karate since he was seven years old. He had always credited retraining in the discipline at North Seattle as the reason he got his act together, and graduated. Vincent became irritated with Monica's crying and yelled, "Can you shut up; we're talking here." Just as he turned his head back Ben successfully completed a round kick which violent connected to Vincent's jaw. The blow from the boot forced him to collapse to the ground. Ben couldn't believe it worked; it was executed perfectly. He was somewhat shocked by its effect as he had never used it on another person. He could feel the adrenaline surge through his body and all his senses were now on full alert. Monica grabbed her cell phone and prepared to dial 911, but froze when she saw what Ben just did.

Vincent rolled left to right groaning, "Mother fcker!" He got up with minor difficulty. He picked up his t-shirt on the ground while staring at Ben who continued to dance around. Vincent wiped the blood off his split lip and he spit in Ben's direction. "So that's how it's going to be. Hit your opponent while their not looking."

"I like to call it a preemptive strike dude."

Vincent put his hands up prepared this time and laughed, "Ok ballerina, what's next, Swan Lake?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of the Nutcracker," Ben replied. He could tell that his opponent's lack of sobriety was definitely working in his favor. He didn't want to become over confident though this guy could easily have a knife, or worse. Vincent lunged forward throwing a punch which Ben successfully blocked. Ben countered with rapid left hand swing which was blocked by Vincent with all his focused attention on it, he never saw Ben's heavy right fist from the opposite side crack across his face. The whole sequence lasted no more than four seconds forcing Vincent to collapse, and hitting his head on the Audi's bumper. He didn't make a noise for several seconds and Ben wondered if he went too far. It seemed like for ever, but Vincent got up with difficulty this time using the Audi to balance himself. This fight was over as quickly as it started, and he backed up while blood trickled out of his nose.

"You're dead ballerina. You got it?" He soon turned around and ran through the parking lot leaving his t-shirt behind. Ben moved forward a bit to watch him run away as he breathed heavily and felt his rapid heart beat. He couldn't believe it ended so quickly and so decisively. He suddenly heard Monica sobbing. He ran around the front of the car to find her sitting on the ground with her head in her hand.

"Oh my God Monica are you all right?" She didn't answer him as she was too embarrassed about everything. He walked around behind her and put his hands under her arms to pull her up on her feet. He tried to walk her the few paces to her car, but she immediately threw her arms around him and squeezed as tight as she could.

She began to cry even harder now that the incident had ended. She cried uncontrollably out of relief as much as fear. "Thank God you're here…I've never been so scared in my life." He squeezed tight and gently rocked her to ease her fear. He didn't say it, but he thought that was probably the most scared he had ever been – for her, and himself.

It was a few minutes before she was calm enough for Ben to make sure she was physically all right. "Are you all right," he began to look at her arms and wrists.

"Yes, I think so," she replied while she sniffled.

He bent down on one knee to inspect her knees, "Not a scratch; unbelievable." He collected the rest of the contents that spilled out of her purse. Now that he knew she was fine he started getting angry about her utter stupidity. He paced around trying to come up with the right words.

Monica noticed that he was frustrated and she knew why, "Ben?" He didn't answer, but he did look at her intensely. "Ben?"

"What were you thinking?" He didn't let her answer, "Do you have a death wish?" he used his hands to emphasize his anger.

"I'm sorry Ben."

He stopped and faced her, "You're sorry?" He laughed in disbelief, "He could of raped you…or worse."

"I'm sorry I wasn't thinking."

"No sht."

She felt like she was being scolded by her mother, but she knew she deserved to be, and again had no real defense for her actions. "I've been so worried about what your parents are going to do," she tried to explain.

"What if that psycho had a gun? We could both be…," he couldn't finish. He understood the pressure she was under, but still couldn't believe how reckless she was. "Where the hell is Andrew; why isn't he here?"

She looked down as she leaned against her car, "He left me."

He knew how hard she took being left from personal experience which he played through his head. He felt bad and calmed down, "I'm sorry." She quietly laughed. "What," he wondered out loud.

She looked up at him, "No you're not."

He understood what she meant and walked over to stand next to her. "Ok it's true I'm glad he's out of the way."

She placed her hand on his arm, "I know."

They stood there next to each other for a full minute; they both where happy to be together even under these circumstances. Monica suddenly realized she wasn't feeling too well. First her stomach ached, and then she began perspiring as her mouth watered. Ben was going to say something, but when he looked at her – even is this cruddy parking lot lighting – she looked pale.

"Are you feeling all right?"

"No. I'm getting dizzy."

"I believe it. Ok c'mon," he grabbed her hand and led her to the back of her car.

"What Ben," she asked annoyed and clearly drunk.

He faced her away from the silver Audi, and began pulling back her lovely hair into a bunch, or a lose ponytail that he held together with his left hand.

"Ben what are you doing?"

"Listen…," he began to explain as he stood behind her. "Whatever you've eaten, or drank in the last hour…well it's going to come up soon. You might as well get it over with now."

She was confused, "You mean gag myself," as she slightly rocked forwards and backwards.

"You got it; it's basically full proof."

"I can't do it Ben." It didn't matter she quickly leaned over and her body took over. Ben grimaced when he heard the splatter of fluids hitting the asphalt. Thank God she vomited quietly he thought as that was the last image he wanted to associate with Monica. He could hold her hair all night long if necessary. He felt so good and alive being this close to her – even now surprisingly.

"Monica, I know you're busy, but can you try not to get it on my boots?" He calmly laughed when he said it. She heard him, but couldn't respond as she was busy. He couldn't help himself as he looked her up and down. God dmn, even now she looked great in the backless red dress.

"Ben please don't make me laugh."


	12. Episode 3 Total Melt Down 8

"What," he asked as he pulled his cell phone out."

"Your boot comment," she answered.

"Oh," he laughed to himself. "Sorry. Hang on a second. Jonathan? Can you do me a favor and meet me…," he stopped speaking to look around. "Yeah section C in the parking lot. Look for a silver Audi – new. Thanks dude." Monica finished purging and while still leaning over asked for her purse. After Ben handed it to her she searched for a tissue and began to wipe her mouth. Ben saw a couple walk by them, "Hi, how are doing tonight?" The two just continued to walk by. She stood up and balanced herself as he continued to hold her hair. "How do you feel?"

She took a second to answer, "Oh my God this is embarrassing. Oh yeah, much better. I'm not dizzy anymore."

Ben laughed, "Oh Monica," he sighed noticing she was a bit kooky. "How many did you have," he asked and let go of her hair.

She turned around to face him and she embarrassingly answered, "I don't remember." He just shook his head at that answer. She walked past him and leaned against the car's door. She put a mint in her mouth, but had to spit it out as it instantly turned her stomach for a second. She opened her car door and pulled out a bottle of water. There wasn't much left, but she had to rinse her mouth a couple of times. Monica began thinking about what she had done tonight especially endangering Ben's life. She thought about his question earlier; what if that guy had a weapon? She had to ask him and turned to face him, "Where did you learn to do that?"

"What?"

"Fight like that?

"Oh. It was more luck than anything else; the guy was totally drunk too," he quietly said.

"That was more than luck; you saved me."

"Well I'll have to thank my dad for forcing me to take those lessons when I was seven."

Mr. Conner she thought to herself. "Your parents? Have they made a decision yet?"

"No." She looked disappointed and put her head down. "I'm sorry; I know this has been hard you."

"Ben," Jonathan yelled.

Ben turned around to see Jonathan and saw Debra with him. How the hell was he going to explain Ms. Young to Debra? Monica was still a bit out of it, but was thinking the same thing.

"Ms. Young? Oh my God is that you," Debra excitedly asked.

She quickly changed her expression to a happy one, but it was clear that she had been crying. "Yes; how are you doing?"

"Are you all right," Debra asked.

"Oh I think I had a little too much of a good time. I had a little too much to drink as well," she smiled guiltily.

"A little," Ben questioned in disbelief under his breath.

"Yes well Ben spotted me inside and helped me to my car. Thank you Ben."

"Sure Ms. Young. Do I get any extra credit?" She smiled at him remembering a fond memory. "Very clever Ben, but no not this time."

"Are you still teaching high school English," Debra asked. Ben wished he hadn't brought up the subject. "No I teach English at the University of Washington; right here at the Seattle campus."

"You're kidding me? The three of us all attend. Did you two know this," she looked at both Jon and Ben as she asked. They both answered no with a surprised look on their face. Monica didn't understand why they lied to Debra, but she was going to play along.

"Well ok," Ben turned towards Ms. Young with his hand out. "Can I have your purse?"

"Why?"

He didn't answer, and she finally handed it over. Ben searched through it and found her car keys. He handed the purse back and the keys to Jonathan. "You take Ms. Young's car," he tapped on the top of the Audi.

"Ben what are you doing," Monica asked.

"Jonathan you drive her car to our apartment." He turned to face Ms. Young, "After I get you some water and you sober up I'll drive you to your car." It seemed reasonable to her as she really couldn't drive yet, and Ben didn't seem to be in the mood to argue. Debra was surprised at Ben's commanding demeanor, but he was right.

Jonathan looked at the car, "Cool I'll be careful Ms. Young."

"Thank you."

"Well Ms. Young we'll have to talk some time," Debra asked.

"I'd love to. I'm in the Arts and Education building, you can just look me up."

"I will," Debra smiled, got in the car and they took off out of the dimly lit parking lot.

Monica turned towards Ben and asked, "Now what?" She was surprised how happy she was; why though, nothing had changed. Andrew had still dumped her, and the Conner's were still discussing her fate. As she looked at Ben's beautiful face and muscular physique she realized this is the only person who cared for her. Yes Jesse her best friend was there, but she was thinking men. After four years, and how bad things ended - this man- put his life on the line tonight. She knew he wanted her back, but she had resisted him for the right reasons. It was becoming impossible now to fend him off.

Ben put his hand out for her to take. She looked down at his hand, and then back up to his face. "My car is over there," he pointed. He was being a total gentleman she realized and grabbed his hand. Then they began to walk in the direction he had pointed. She decided to move closer to him as they walked and she placed her other hand on his arm while she looked down. She rested her head on his shoulder feeling completely safe with him. He couldn't believe it as he looked at the top over head. He held her the other night at the gas station, and tonight as she cried. This was the first time since they were aware each was at the same college, that she showed some affection towards him. He didn't want to be some kind of rebound after Andrew, but he was thrilled that it appeared she wasn't resisting him.

As they approached the gray primered Camaro she couldn't help, but ask, "Please tell me we won't be running out of gas?"

He laughed, "No Dino put in the new gas gauge a day ago."

"I've read his essays; please tell me he is a better mechanic."

He laughed and was pleasantly surprised Monica still had her wonderful sense of humor. He could tell from her reaction that she wasn't too impressed with his baby – as he considered it. "So what do think?"

"It's nice," she weekly answered. "I like the shiny wheels," she tried to placate him.

"You're such a girl Monica." He called me a girl she thought; even when he insulted her, he made her feel good. She knew she was still tipsy, but what was happening she wondered while she watched him open the passenger door. She sat down in the firm and form fitting Recaro racing style seats. He got down on one knee and helped her get the specialized seat belt on. He was purposely clumsy with his hands trying to feel her body as much as he could.

She knew exactly what he was doing while she watched him. His face was right at the level of hers as he worked the seat belt. She wanted to put her fingers through his hair, but she just laughed instead.

"What," he asked while casually laughing and working on the belts.

"Nothing."

He looked up at her and stared lovingly into her eyes. Their lips were less than seven inches away from each other. He so wanted to make a move and kiss her. He wasn't sure how she would react though, especially after the incident on the hood of her car. She might even slap him, but he knew he had to do something.

Monica suddenly realized how close they were to each other. She could easily recognize that familiar look on his face. She knew he was going to go for it, maybe she should just close her eyes and let him kiss her. Maybe it was the alcohol or the fact that he rescued her, but she didn't think she could resist him much longer. Just as he decided to move in a car's headlights flashed on them as it went by. Ms. Young quickly turned her head away. She wasn't sure where the strength came from, but she resisted him one more time. Ben felt the rejection, and it stung badly. "Your wish is my command Ms. Young," he said in a stern tone, and shut the door.

He got into the driver's side and just sighed for a second. "I'm sorry Ben, I knew what you were thinking, and I couldn't let it happen."

He rolled down his window as a small group of patrons from the club laughed while searching for their vehicles. He knew what she was thinking as well. He knew in his gut she wanted that kiss. He turned to look at her, "Can I ask you a question," he spoke in a defeated tone.

"Of course."

"Do you know how it feels when some one wants you? They know the good stuff, they know you're flaws, and they deeply want you heart, body, and soul?"

She knew what he was getting at, "I think I do Ben." She definitely knew as she remembered their reunion on stage four years ago.

"You know how great that feels Monica?"

"Yes it's wonderful."

"Now think," he had to stop as his voice became emotional. "Now think how gut wrenchingly painful it is when that person doesn't feel the same way?" He thought he might actually start to cry.

"Oh my God Ben," she was compelled to console him and reached for his hand. She knew exactly how that felt four yeas ago when Ben had rejected her while she was willing to give up everything for him.

He pulled his hand away before she could touch him. "Please don't touch me Ms. Young. It's just too difficult. I can't do this anymore Ms. Young." He started up the car and exited the parking lot through the short line of cars. Monica didn't know what to say to him. He was truly hurt she thought; he didn't even call her Monica, it was like he was saying goodbye. He drove back close to the college which took 15 minutes. Neither said a word as the tension built. Finally he pulled into a Jack in the Box drive-thru to get Monica some water. He was pretty hungry now that he thought about.

"Fast food Ben?"

He caught up to the car in front of them, "Yeah," he didn't look at her, "What?"

"This stuff is terrible for you," she said with a slight look of disgust on her face.

"It's better than smoking," he knew that argument was over.

"Ha, ha, you're very clever."


	13. Episode 3 Total Melt Down 9

Neither said anything until Ms. Young couldn't take the silence any longer. Calmly she spoke, "Can I ask you a question?"

He laid his head back on the seat's head rest and sighed. He then turned his head toward her, "I don't want to fight Ms. Young," he feebly answered.

"Well neither do I," she sat up as she explained. "Do you understand where I'm coming from?" she placed her hand on her chest. "Do you see my argument Ben?"

"No I don't. Why can't we be together; screw everyone else."

She was so frustrated that he refused to understand why she denied him what he wanted. "Ben Conner, you're many things, but one thing I didn't think you were was selfish." Even though he claimed he didn't have the energy he was getting angry with her accusations. She thought back to four years ago that Ben was a selfish brat, but he was 16 and confused, it was understandable may be even forgivable. Now at 20 this was a big difference she felt. "All right Ben…"

"Selfish Ms. Young?"

"Yes! Stop calling me Ms. Young; you're not funny." They were silent for a few moments as they both smiled to themselves. A car behind them honked due to Ben not keeping up in line. Ben did the 'man thing' and aggressively caught up screeching the tires. Once Monica stopped laughing she spoke, "I'm pissed Ben."

"Really, stop laughing then. I think the booze is still affecting you a bit."

She composed herself, "Lets just say for argument's sake I…," it was true the alcohol was still influencing her judgment. "Well that I give in…"

"Seriously?" Ben excitedly questioned.

"Please get your mind out of the gutter," she requested with a hint of disgust. Ben moved the Camaro behind the SUV in front of them. "I give you what you want," she began sliding her hand through her long flowing hair. ''You want me to date you?"

He hadn't thought about it that far along, but yes he would love to date her. "Well sure."

"Assuming your parents haven't already decided to turn me into the police. Why would I give them a real reason to turn me in like for dating their son?"

"Monica they won't find out."

"Ben what if we're together for a year? Assuming we can stay together that long? Our track record isn't that good if you think about it. We were only a secret couple for what a month? My point is that your parents will find out eventually and guess who pays the consequences. Not you Ben."

He didn't say anything. He realized she was totally right his parents would find out someday. He wasn't even sure if the police could do anything about their affair four years ago, but she would lose her teaching job again. He watched her push her hair behind her ear as she looked out her window. He pulled out his cell phone to check the charge – it was low. "Monica?"

"Yes."

"Can you grab the charger out of the glove compartment?" She was surprised how fast he changed the subject, but searched for the charger. She handed it to him, but noticed about ten photographs inside. She began to look at them and realized they were of her. Ben spotted what she was doing and remembered he had not removed the pictures Jonathan had taken at the play rehearsal.

She was a bit upset; was he spying on her? "Ben what the hell are these?"

He couldn't believe he had not moved those since Dino stuck them in there. His anger was completely washed away by embarrassment. It did look like he was some kind of deranged stalker. "Jonathan saw you walking into a building he was taking pictures of, and he followed you; he thought I'd want them."

"Did you get a thrill," she demanded to know.

He looked at her for a second even angry she was beautiful he thought. He answered in a sad voice, "Actually…I was going to throw them out."

She didn't expect that answer, "Oh, why?"

"Because it hurts too much."

He pulled up to the menu and squawk box. After the introduction was finished he began to order. "Yeah a large water," he turned to Ms. Young, "You want ice."

"Yes please." She placed the photos of her back in the glove compartment. He could keep them if he wanted.

He yelled, "Ice. Uh," he turned back to her, "You don't mind if I order any food do you?"

"No not at all."

"Do you want anything," he asked her. She shook her head indicating no. He turned back, "Ok, ten Super Taco's." Ms. Young's eyes widened when she heard that. "Yeah, a large Coke, and large vanilla shake. That's it."

"Jesus Ben."

"Hey I haven't eaten since five; it's 1AM right know." At the window he paid and handed Ms. Young the beverages in a cardboard holder. He then grabbed the large bag of taco's. Ben drove up through the hilly roads back to his apartment which was less than three miles away.

"Ben?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not feeling well."

He looked at her, but it was difficult to see her in the dark. "What do mean? Are you going to get sick?"

"I think it's the smell of your food," she rolled down the window to get some fresh air.

Hang on its right up here. In fact there's your car," he quickly pulled in behind the silver Audi parked next to the curb. Ms. Young handed Ben the drinks and got out of the car. She walked towards the front with her hand on the fender. He shut the car off and watched her in case she needed some help. He didn't hear anything hopefully she just needed some air. He started placing each cup on top of the car above his head. He then unwrapped a taco, "You all right out there?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute," she answered. He felt bad for her as he chewed, but she did bring it on herself. After a few minutes she came back and leaned against the passenger's door facing away from Ben. "Can I get that water?" He handed it to her and she took several large gulps. "Oh God does that taste good." He smiled as he finished off his third taco. "I'm never drinking again," she declared.

"You know how many times I've said that?" She began to get back into the car, and he carefully dumped the bag of food out of his window. He didn't want the smell to make her ill – especially in his beloved car.

"I can't believe I drank all that water." She accidentally burped, "Oh God, excuse me."

Ben laughed, "I've heard worse from you just tonight."

She smiled, "I know. I've been such an idiot tonight."

"Hey, hey, we're both all right so just calm down," he tried to comfort her.

"I know this sounds weird, but I'm hungry all of the sudden."

Ben was glad to hear she was feeling better, "You don't want a taco do you?"

"Oh no," the thought turned her stomach. "Your vanilla shake sounds good though," she explained in a guilty tone.

He smiled and pulled down from the top the milkshake and handed it to her. "I actually got it for you. You could probably use the sugar."

Right there she regretted calling him selfish tonight. It was just a stupid milkshake she thought, but he was concerned about her. God if they had met at another time she thought as she took the plastic top off and began to stir the shake with the straw. She took a large gulp of the cold ice cream and it soothed her sour stomach. She closed her eyes as it comforted her. Ben couldn't help, but watch her and he was surprised how turned on he was getting. She noticed he was staring at her with his mouth open.

She started to stir the shake again, "Oh c'mon Ben, me drinking a shake can't be that fascinating?" She didn't look at him when she said it. He was still mesmerized by her long eyelashes, but it was the white milkshake mustache she was unknowingly wearing that excited him. She was so God dmn cute he thought; a word he never used, it was a chick word as far as he was concerned.

"What? Oh yeah, you've got…," he stopped as he thought about how much he wanted to kiss her right now.

She looked up at him, "What?"

"Your lip, you have…" She realized what he meant and licked her upper lip.

"Oh my God," he moaned quietly.

"Are you all right Ben?"

"Uh, yeah, let me get your keys from Jonathan." He left trying to calm down while having a little difficulty walking now that he was aroused a bit. When he returned. Monica was leaning against the drivers side of her car.

"It's warm tonight," she said.

"Yeah I was sweating a minute ago." Of course the weather had nothing to do with it.

"I know this is difficult to believe Ben, but I think I only live a couple blocks away from here. This is Rager's Row – correct?"

"Yes it is. That's fantastic." Monica felt that it would just be trouble. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"I wasn't sure where we were at first. Ok, I better go; we both have class tomorrow," she placed the key in the door.

"Listen, before you go." She stopped and turned around. He put his hands in his jean pockets, "I was wondering," he bashfully asked. "The other night when you dropped me off at my out of gas car."

"Yes."

"You said we could be friends. Well friends go out… to movies, dinner…"

"I don't really think that's a good idea."

"What if I convince my parents that I'm an adult and if I want to be your friend, or whatever, it's my business. They should just stay out of it," he finished with an elevated heart beat. This was so important to him; to be with her some how, some way.

She could see how important it was to him. She was getting tired of denying him everything – even if she felt it was the right thing to do. Monica just looked at him thinking about his offer. What did she have to loose, "Ok. You convince them too back off, and I'll go out with you."

"Really?" He couldn't believe it – finally.

"Now Ben don't get too excited. Your parents will probably never agree, especially your mother." She got in her car and started it up. She rolled the window down.

"No, no, I'll get it done. Friday night a movie; you and me."

"In your dreams Ben Conner." She slowly drove off as Ben watched till he could no longer see her car.


	14. Episode 4: Built on a Lie 1

Lost Love 4: Built on a Lie

Ben pulled into his parent's driveway next to his father's black SUV. His mother had called him at work to ask him to come for dinner, and decide Ms. Young's fate. It was about time he thought as it was last Friday when the powder keg with his parent's, Ms. Young, and Andrew detonated at their favorite restaurant. In Thursday's class - today - Ms. Young looked stressed, and distracted, even desperate – never a good sign with her. He promised Monica Monday night after the club incident that he would convince them that he was an adult, and they should just drop the whole matter. He didn't know how he was going to pull that off, but those were still his intensions.

He swiftly walked up the stone stairs and followed the pathway to the door. He was about to knock when the door opened with his mother behind it. "Hi mom," he smiled.

"How are you Ben?" She hugged him as he reached her.

"Good."

"I've missed you," she quietly spoke.

"I haven't even been in the apartment a week yet," he walked in and continued to the kitchen as she shut the door. "Hey dad," they shook hands.

"Ben? How's the bachelor's pad?" he enthusiastically asked while cutting a block of cheese into bite size cubes.

Ben sat down at the kitchen table. He calmly laughed, "Um, pretty good so far."

"Are you unpacked yet," his mother asked as she placed crackers, and some spread for them on a plate.

"Not even close; my room is good though." Roland smiled at that as he continued to cut. Ben looked out the large kitchen window wondering how to start the Ms. Young discussion. His parents were silent now wondering the very same thing. The three really hadn't discussed it much, but they knew he didn't want Ms. Young punished. He was quite aware his mother felt the complete opposite while his father was rather neutral about the whole thing.

Ben was kind of in a daze staring out the widow when he queried, "So what's for dinner?"

His parents looked at each other before Amanda spoke. "Oh we thought we would have hors-d'oeuvres tonight."

He turned to look at them as that seemed strange. "Seriously?" He displayed a confused expression.

"Yes, your father and I made a change at the last minute. You don't mind do you?"

"Whatever," he turned back towards the large window. He finally had to ask, "So have you two made a decision?" He desperately wanted to hear their answer, but he was nervous as hell. All he could think about was Monica – she had been punished enough. Before they said anything he saw Sam walk up to the back door and knock. "Holy shit you told Sam?"

"Ben watch your language," his father commanded.

"Why did you involve him?" Ben demanded as he stood up.

Amanda spoke first, "Because he was a victim too." Ben wanted to laugh at that comment, but he didn't want to piss off his mother. He knew making his parents see the situation his way would be difficult, but with Sam basically making Monica sound like a stalker slut would make it impossible. He had to talk to him, and convince him to help – he owed his little brother.

Roland opened the back door, "Sam," they hugged. Sam was wearing a Seahawks sweatshirt and jeans.

He walked in smiling, "Mom, how are you feeling," he questioned as they hugged.

"Wonderful now that my two boys are home."

"Hey bro, how are they hanging?" Sam put his arm around Ben's neck.

"Ok I guess."

"I here you moved out? Congratulations."

"Yeah."

"Either of you want something to drink," their mother asked.

"Uh, yeah, I'll take a beer," Sam said.

Amanda rolled her eyes. Roland answered, "Sam you know we don't have beer in the house. How about a glass of wine?"

"Na, I got a sixer in my trunk. Ben you want one?" His brother headed for the door while looking at him.

He could kill for one he thought as his parents stared him down waiting for his answer. "Uh, no, Sam you know I'm under age." His brother laughed heartily at that as he went through the door.

"How about a Coke," his mother asked. He nodded yes.

"I wish you hadn't invited Sam to this."

"We had to Ben," his father explained. "We need all the facts before we make a decision."

Sam came back in and jammed a six pack into the refrigerator. His mother looked at him disapprovingly as he twisted the bottle top. "What? I'm not driving tonight."

"We're going to be putting out the food soon," their father said.

Ben wasn't wasting anymore time. "Sam can we talk in the den?" His parents looked at him wondering what he was up to.

Sam was wondering as well, "Oookaaay."

They both walked into the den with Ben leading the way. He turned to Sam in the dimly lit room as Sam took a big swig of his beer. "What's up bro?"

"You know why you're here right?" Ben asked in a hushed voice so his parents couldn't hear.

"Something about Ms. Young being back in town… or something. Have you run into her yet – I guess you must have." Sam responded in a similar hushed voice wondering what the hell has been going on.

Ben looked down, "She's my English professor at UW."

Sam couldn't help himself as he tried to keep his laugh at a low volume and spun around in utter disbelief. "Oh shit no wonder they're freaked. Well how did they find out… you know me and her," he suddenly stopped, remembering it was still a touchy subject between them.

Ben sighed, "We ran into her at Paridiso's…"

"Just down the street," he asked very surprised.

"I know it was total bad luck and a long story…"

"Actually I'd like to hear it. You know I love a good train wreck..."

"Later," Ben was getting annoyed. "I need your help."

Sam was confused, but took the time to sip his beer. "Ok… what dude?" He could sense his little brother's frustration.

"I need you to say you dated her once, she's very nice, and that's it."

Sam understood, but couldn't resist giving his brother a hard time. "I don't know dude; lying to mom and dad, that kind of offends my inner child. You know what I mean?" Ben didn't laugh. Sam took another sip and then spoke, "Ok bro. Fine. Why though?"

Ben sighed as he didn't want to tell him, but he knew he had to. "I want her back; I can't stop thinking about her."

"I bet, who wouldn't want that…" He stopped before he made an insult about her in front of Ben. They both calmed down for a moment. Still in a hushed voice Sam asked, "Dude? There must be a million babes on campus, why her?"

"I don't know," he looked down disappointed. He wished he knew and desperately wanted to find out. "I don't want to regret that I never tried hard enough to make it work. I was such an idiot four years ago." Ben grabbed his brother's beer and took a good chug.

"Dude, you were 16, hell your only 20 now, you're going to screw up a lot more, believe me." Sam did admire his brother's bravado, but this was nuts. "How does she feel about all this?"

"It's been a little difficult to figure out with everything going on."

He sighed while looking up at the ceiling, "Are right, I'll help you out. I hope she's worth it." Both their eyes widened when the door bell rang. "Was there supposed to be someone else," Sam quickly whispered.

"They didn't tell me you were coming dude; I'm totally in the dark here." He handed Sam back his beer and headed for the front door.

Sam went to take a sip, but soon realized it was empty, "Great."

Roland opened the front door, "Hello. Thank you for coming on such short notice." Ben recognized Mr. Miller's voice the minute he spoke.

"Hello Roland," they shook hands as he entered, "I wish we were meeting under better circumstances." Just then he spotted Ben come out from a hallway. "Oh Ben, it's been a while."

"Yes a couple years. How's Sue?"

"Good, good. She has a new boyfriend," he wanted Ben to know she wasn't available. Ben assumed this as well as they never liked each other.

Roland shut the door and escorted Mr. Miller to the living room, trying to avoid his son's angry stare. Amanda was setting up the food. "Would you care for a drink?" she asked.

"Water is fine. I don't really have much time." He sat down in a chair by the fire place. Roland sat down on the sofa next to him with Amanda sitting next to her husband. Ben walked in and sat across from his parents with an unpleasant expression. They could both tell he was angry with their ambush tactics this evening. He felt they were treating him like he was a drug addict, and this was an intervention. Ben realized how close he was sitting next to Mr. Miller; not a comfortable placement he noted. He was stuck there as Sam quickly sat down next to him with a fresh beer.

"Oh, this is our eldest son, Sam," Amanda explained.

The two shook hands, "Roland? Do you really want your whole family involved with this?"

Sam's father with his head down answered, "He's involved; we're not sure how yet," he eyed disapprovingly at both his boys. "We're going to find out though."

Mr. Miller found this rather disturbing and moved uncomfortably to the edge of his seat. "Really? This suggests a pattern of…"

Ben stood up, "Excuse me, but before we start whatever we're starting, can I ask why my parents," he faced them, "decided to ambush me?"

His parents felt guilty, and maybe they had made a bad decision not letting him know what they're plan was. "It was for your own good Ben," his mother replied. "We know you're protecting her."

"How?"

"You never told us she was back." It was true and obvious so Ben sat down. Everyone was silent not knowing what to say. Sam was getting hungry and decided to get a cracker with the spread that was laid out for them. As he ate he saw his mother's disappointed expression. He knew her rule about guests getting first crack at the hors-d'oeuvres', but of course he considered himself a guest.

Mr. Miller was tired of not knowing what the hell was going on. "Roland? All you said on the phone was Ms. Young is back in town."

"That's correct."

"Well I never asked her to leave so…"

"She's teaching as well," Ben's mother clarified.

He was taken a back by that. "Where?"

Ben's parents looked at him as they figured he could answer that question. Mr. Miller picked up on this and turned towards Ben. Sam never thought in a million years that coming over for a family dinner could be this entertaining. Ben was slow to answer, but finally turned to Mr. Miller and spoke, "She's my English professor at the University of Washington." He was shocked by that revelation and grabbed some cubed cheese. Once the men saw that the guest had started eating they lunged for the food like a pack of wolves. Amanda gave them all a disapproving expression as she took a sip of wine.

"This is disturbing. I specifically told her not to teach," he sipped on his water. "Ben? Has she contacted you?"

"No, nothing," he stressed.

Ben's father spoke up, "Wasn't there some meeting Ben? At her office after class?"

Ben looked at Mr. Miller, "I went to her office; I wanted to talk to her."

Sam chimed in, "Well how could he not? His first time, she disappears, and suddenly she shows up again." Amanda was disgusted, but the men saw the argument.

Ben's mother looked at Mr. Miller and asked, "William, what should we do?"

"Well since Sam spoke up; why don't we find out how he's involved?" Mr. Miller clasped his large hands together when he finished.

Everyone turned towards Sam. Ben's palms began to sweat praying his brother could pull this off. Sam placed his empty beer bottle on the cocktail napkin sliding on the table a bit. He leaned forward resting his arms on his knees while he searched for the words. He nervously answered, "Yeah, well I met her at Ben's school - I was visiting him and a friend – and well we hit it off." He grinned, "God was she hot that day," he knew that would piss Ben off, but his parents would expect that crass style attitude from him, and he wanted to make it believable. "We went out to dinner, a club, and that was it."

His father was confused, "Andrew said you dated a couple of times?"

"Andrew?" Sam looked at Ben confused.

"Yes her boyfriend recognized Ben at Paridiso's, and thought we were friends. He mentioned you dated Ms. Young more than once. She confirmed it in fact," his father explained eagerly. Mr. Miller was surprised how weird this was getting, but simply had to know more. Sam couldn't believe his younger brother asked him for a huge favor, and didn't let him know what had been going on. He was totally winging it at this point; he didn't even know Ms. Young had a boyfriend. Ben wants her back, but she's not available, hasn't mentioned she wanted him back, while his parents are dead set against it. Now this Miller guy is involved. This is totally insane he thought.

"Yeah, well, there might have been another time. Once I left town I never heard from her."

Amanda spoke up in a loud voice, "Mr. Miller?" They all stopped and looked at her. "I still believe… in my heart as a mother." All the men prayed she didn't start crying. "I'm worried about my sons, and I think we should notify the authorities."

Mr. Miller tried to answer, but Ben stood up to defend Monica. He stared his guilty parents down and declared, "No!" Everyone was silent while Ben paced around thinking. "I'm just going to lay it down." Only ten seconds went by, but it seemed like an hour. Sam was impressed with his younger brother's actions. He was so happy Ben was finally a bigger thorn in his parent's side than he was. It probably wouldn't last long so he figured he better enjoy it while it lasted. "You two," their son pointed at them, "I'm 20 years old. I'm an adult… it simply has nothing to do with you anymore." His parents felt bad as their plan had completely back fired.

Ben was going for it with both barrels blazing, "It's up to me what happens. You bring in the cops… I won't cooperate in anyway. I'll deny everything; I'll actively lie if necessary." He looked at Mr. Miller as he finished and then focused in on his parents. "Either of you continue with this… well our relationship? Well that's just it, there won't be one." His parents were quickly being overwhelmed, and he could see it on their faces. Sam was in total awe of his younger brother; the confidence, the leadership, he didn't know this person. Mr. Miller was about to speak when the doorbell rang. He and Amanda sank back down in their seats regretting that another one of their guests had arrived.

Sam couldn't help himself and let out a laugh. "I'm sorry; I'll get it."

"No," Ben declared. He calmed down, "Please tell me you didn't invite her?" Ben rubbed his eyes waiting, but there was no answer. Ben looked up at his father.

"You're kidding right?" Sam was getting excited as he would love to see what Monica looked like now. Mr. Miller was a big believer in the communication, but this was nuts. Why would they invite her?

"Well," Ben demanded.

Roland couldn't look at his son in the eyes, but he knew he had to answer. He sighed as he thought for a moment, "We considered it… inviting Ms. Young." His mother grabbed her husband's hand to comfort him.

"Why, why, why, would you do that?"

His mother spoke up, "We decided against it." Just as she finished the doorbell rang in rapid procession three times. They all froze not really knowing what to do. "We tracked down her mother, and invited her over."


	15. Episode 4: Built on a Lie 2

Ben collapsed on the couch, "Oh c'mon? This is a joke right? That's the only explanation… correct? No one answered, and he wanted to punch a wall, or kick the shit out of a door. He sat up, but before he asked, his father Roland tried to explain.

"Ben? We thought… we thought if we had some insight as to why Ms. Young did what she did, well…"

"Her mother?" Ben left for the front door. His thoughts were simply out of control. He was totally overwhelmed. He had heard numerous nightmares about Monica's mother, but he had never met her. He had seen a few photos, but he didn't really know what she looked like in person. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he placed his hand on the brass knob in the dimly lit hallway. He had no idea what to expect, good, or evil. He opened the door, exhaled and opened his eyes. He quickly choked as a blast of second hand smoke bathed him before he could even see.

"I'm looking for the Conner residents?" A woman's voice commanded. He continued to gag as she spoke. He was stunned by the voice; it was Woodrow Wilson High all over again. It was Ms. Young scolding him again in English class. He couldn't believe the feelings, stress, and the fear that immediately struck. It seemed like forever, but finally he could see her. She was a bit taller than Monica, in her early 60's with salt and pepper hair at her shoulders. She had aged well he thought as Ben found her somewhat attractive picking up on the resemblance of her daughter. The green eyes he thought – magical. It was just a trace though as it was easy to find the darkness exhibited in her dress, body language, and demeanor. "I'm here for some meeting about my daughter… Monica Young."

"Yes. This is the place," he stuck his hand out to shake.

She hated touching. His bare hand represented disease, germs, something to stay away from. Monica's mother was never much of a people person although she was excellent at reading their thoughts as well as their body language. She refused to put her hand out and took a puff off her cigarette. Ben backed up to let her inside. She dropped the cigarette on the porch and put it out with her shoe. He wanted to laugh, if only his mother had witnessed that. He led her out to the living room where the group quietly waited. She was unimpressed with the home, too dark, and definitely too small for her taste. It was only a few years ago she lived in a drab small home with her daughter. Things had drastically changed in a short amount of time.

"Uh this is," Ben wasn't sure how to introduce her. He didn't even know her name.

"Ms. Richards. Mrs. Alice Richards." She saw the chair placed out for her and did not want to sit in the filthy thing. Alice knew she would have to though so she complied.

"This is my mother Amanda, my father Roland," Ben explained. The two mothers looked at one another judgingly as they sat a couple feet away. He turned towards Sue's father and gestured with his hand. "This is Mr. Miller, uh," he didn't know how introduce him either.

"Friend of the family," he spoke up for Ben, "I knew your daughter as well."

"Yeah," Ben continued, "This is Sam my older brother," he smiled sitting only a couple of feet on her right.

Alice was pleased no one tried to shake her hand. The circle of people waited for her to say something and she knew that – so she made them wait. Alice was cold, but smart, and an excellent risk taker. Her first husband had taught her how to play serious poker, and with her natural ability to read people she had become an expert. That's how she met her current husband Robert Richards attorney at law. They met at a tournament she won in Las Vegas just a year after Monica left her home in Seattle. She won Robert's heart just as she won the tournament. It wasn't love for her it was the money and status which he had plenty of. It was just in time as she had to give up her professional poker playing do to her newly developed phobia of germs.

"So what has my drama queen daughter gotten herself into?" She pulled out a silver cigarette case.

Mr. Miller decided to speak and cleared his throat. "Mrs. Richards, when was the last time you have talked to your daughter?"

"Three or four years ago," she stated. That caught him by surprise and his expression showed it. "It's no secret Mr. Miller that my daughter and I don't converse much."

"Are you aware she is back in Seattle?" Everyone could see from her surprised look that she wasn't aware Monica ever left the city. "Is there any reason why she would go to Denver?"

Alice did not expect that question, but she knew the answer. She quickly pulled out a cigarette and lit it before Amanda could deny her. Ben's mother stayed quiet even though she felt personally insulted not being asked permission to smoke in her home. Roland was stunned by her arrogance, and lack of manners, but stayed silent as well.

"Sam could you open a window and turn on the fan?"

"Sure mom."

Alice let out a big exhale of smoke before answering the question. "Yes. Her father, and my son-of-bitch ex-husband runs some mega mining operation out there."

"Are they close?" Mr. Miller questioned.

"No they're not. He has money though."

"Well that explains how she completed her masters and Ph.D. so quickly." Mr. Miller continued writing in his notes.

Alice uncrossed her legs and pulled a handkerchief out of her purse. She swiftly pulled Amanda's quarter filled wine glass toward her and flicked the ashes off her cigarette. Before Amanda could speak Alice raised her voice a bit, "Mr. Miller?" He looked up at her across the coffee table. "Monica and I aren't friends, but we are blood. Before I give out anymore privileged information; why am I hear?"

Ben's father decided to speak up. "Your daughter… she had an affair with our son." She looked at Sam as he sat down from opening the window. She thought he was attractive and approved despite he having no money. Roland could see that she misunderstood him. "No, Mrs. Richards, our other son, Ben," he motioned his hand in his direction.

"Oh, I see." She looked him over as she flicked more ashes into the wine glass. "Ben. I'm curious, how old are you?"

"I'm 20." She raised her eyebrows and was impressed with her daughter's talents to snag a younger man.

Again Roland realized she didn't fully understand. "This relationship," Ben's mother looked crossed at her husband. She didn't like him calling the sexual assault, as she considered it, a relationship; it legitimized it in her opinion. He paused for a moment before continuing. "This happened while she was his English teacher four years ago at Woodrow Wilson High." She never expected that statement and choked a bit.

"He was a minor Mrs. Richards," Ben's mother sternly declared.

"Mrs. Richards would you like some water, or wine," Roland asked. She calmed down after the initial shock of her daughter's affair with a 16 year old was revealed. She knew Monica was a risk taker, like her, but this was a bit much. "Mrs. Richards?"

"Oh, no I can't stand wine; my husband is obsessed with the stuff. I think I'm coming down with a cold. I could really use a brandy."

Roland wasn't sure what to make of this woman as he watched her light up another cigarette. "Uh, ok, I'll get your brandy," he left for the kitchen.

Alice crossed her legs and turned towards Ben's mother. "Mandy? I understand you're a mother protecting your cub, but what do you want from me?"

Amanda grit her teeth at Alice getting her name wrong. "Some insight. We're considering turning her into the authorities, but my husband thought we should try to understand why this happened, before we made a decision."

Alice hadn't contemplated the criminal aspect of this it was four years ago she thought. She didn't particularly care if Monica paid for her crime, assuming she was guilty. What she did care about was the media headlines, 'Seattle Power Attorney, New Wife's Daughter Rapist'. Alice's demeanor towards Amanda suddenly changed. "This is a charming home Amanda."

She didn't expect the sudden change of heart, and was suspicious. "Well thank you." She prepared a cracker with cheese spread and was about to hand it to Alice when Roland placed a brandy snifter on a cocktail napkin on the coffee table. Alice immediately took a hefty sip, but wished she had waited. She didn't know what kind of brandy this was, but as far as she was concerned it was cheap rotgut crap that she choked down. She quickly took another large hit off her cigarette. Amanda tried to hand Alice a cracker, but she just saw germs, and disease. She tried to grab it with her index finger and thumb. She just couldn't touch it, and the cracker fell. Crashing onto the Persian style rug with the cheese spread side detonating on the carpet. "Oh Mandy I do apologize for that."

Sam jumped up, "I'll get it; wash cloth, and club soda? Right mom?"

"Yes dear."

"I'll give you some cash for the cleaning bill before I leave. I do apologize Ronald."

"It's Roland," Ben's father smiled as he corrected her.

"Of course Ron," she acknowledged as she upped her brandy. "Insight? Well I can give you a few details, but I doubt they'll be much help."

"Anything one way or the other would help," Mr. Miller explained.

"There's not much to say; we were both terrible parents." She sighed, "I fell in love with Monica's father, Jacob Young, in college. He was brilliant, sexy, and he wanted me. We married after we graduated from UCLA., ah UCLA that was my first choice. Psychology for myself, and a double major of business and engineering for him.

He quickly took advantage of his school connections to find an excellent job at Lockheed in Southern California. He worked on military projects – spy planes." She took in a puff remembering the good old days. "He was successful early on and we went to all the social functions for the firm. After he moved onto Boeing here in Seattle I became pregnant – with Monica. We were happy… at first."

Everyone was riveted by her story until they were interrupted by Sam turning on the Dustbuster as he attempted to clean the floor between Amanda and Alice. His mother tapped him on the head and he got the message to shut it off. He quickly returned to his seat.

"Once my daughter was born the marriage went downhill." Alice tossed her dead cigarette in the wine glass and lit up a third. She raised her snifter glass to let Roland know she needed another one. "Ronny would you mind?" Could she at least get my name correct he thought. "Jacob was bored with our life with a child and his eyes began to wander as well as his hands. I have to admit I wasn't happy being tied down with a child either, but I finally told that SOB to stop cheating or I would divorce him."

She took a hit of her cig as everyone else grabbed some food or sipped on their beverage. "Well he took me seriously… so seriously he hid his assets and sued me for divorce even asking for alimony. He lost on the alimony and ended up paying me a meager amount. I supplemented that playing poker tournaments; that's the only thing I can thank Jacob for." Everyone else noticed she didn't thank him for Monica. No wonder Monica was scared to be alone, and on the surface so needy. "Does this information help at all?"

Mr. Miller began to speak, "Uh, yes it does. The abandonment issues, the rejection issues. It all makes sense why Ms. Young gave Sue an unwarranted D." Oh simply brilliant Mr. Miller Ben thought to himself as they pretty much knew all that.

"Sue?" Alice questioned.

"Yes, she is my daughter, and she exposed the relationship."

Alice looked towards Ben, "Maybe if you told me how this all started, and how it all ended, you could help me, help you?" She leaned forward to flick the ashes, "Be as graphic as you need to be; I'm no prude." Amanda shifted her position uncomfortable with hearing anything about her son and sex. Sam couldn't take it anymore and let out a quick, quiet laugh. Roland looked at Sam disapprovingly.

Ben moved in his seat wondering what to say. He decided to explain his feelings about their romance and be vague with the details. With his head down he spoke, "Her eyes."

"Excuse me?" Alice asked.

"One day after she finished a choreography lesson our eyes met, we couldn't move. I'm not sure what changed that day, but something did." He left out the fact that Ms. Young was changing her clothes at the time. He didn't think his mother could handle that. "This continued in the hallways, her English class, and finally I confronted her at a carnival behind a book booth. We almost kissed that night, but she stopped it."

Amanda was getting very uncomfortable with the story. "Eventually we did kiss in her car," he smiled thinking about it. He was in a daze as he spoke, "I still remember how great that night was." He looked up, "It wasn't long after that we were as close as two people could get and…" As tame as his description was Amanda couldn't handle hearing about her son losing his virginity. She quickly leaned forward to snatch Alice's brandy on the table, and upped what was left.

Alice looked at Roland, "Ron, I'll need a fresh glass."

"It's Roland," he responded in a defeated tone. Sam couldn't take it anymore he got up grabbing the brandy glass as he headed for the kitchen. Once in the kitchen he couldn't keep it in any longer and let out a loud laugh. The group just sat there looking at each other until he finished. He couldn't help himself the situation was so bizarre.

Ben continued as Sam came back with Mrs. Richard's fresh brandy. Sam's parents looked at him with judgmental eyes. "Monica, I mean Ms. Young," he couldn't believe he just did that and he tried to calm down as his hands shook. Ben looked at his parents, "She tried to end it, but I pursued her, and convinced her to come back." His parents realized it wasn't just sex. It wasn't some older woman preying on some young kid. Their son was clearly responsible for his own actions. "Things changed after a while. I got impatient and was tired of sneaking around." He crossed his arms, "I got tired of lying to my friends, and my parents."

Roland spoke somewhat in a daze, "We thought you were on drugs." Sam quickly got up again, and moved into the kitchen to let out another loud laugh. "Damn it Sam, just stay out there till you can control yourself," he yelled. "I apologize. Continue Ben."

"I got talked into going to the home coming dance. Sue and I had become friends during play rehearsals and were looking forward to going as friends. Ms. Young understandably got jealous. I didn't care and I ended it that night; I know she never saw it coming."

Alice exhaled and spoke, "She fought back didn't she?" Sam quietly sat back in his seat feeling a bit guilty about his laughing.

"Yes, she didn't let go."

"How did it finally end?"

"Uh, she provoked me in English class and ended up giving me detention. After detention we got into it when Sue walked in on us."

Mr. Miller spoke up, "And then I confronted her and convinced her to leave the school. We agreed that she wouldn't teach, but she seems to have forgotten that."

"Well, that sounds like a lovely romance… till you threw it away," Alice quietly commented.

Ben's parents immediately tried to defend him, but he interrupted them, "She's right."

Alice upped what was left of her brandy. She looked at Ben, "What's my daughter's current situation?"

"We talked. She said she's straightened her life out and just wanted to teach. She never expected me to be in her first college level English class. Oh, she has a boyfriend; her age I believe."

Mrs. Richards thought for a second, "All right. Ben I'd like you're opinion on what if anything should be done."

Finally he thought, "Nothing; she's suffered enough. She's trying to change her life, and the mistakes… they weren't all her fault." He looked right at his parents, "Like I said earlier, if you have Mr. Miller talk to the university administration, or involve the police I will not cooperate in anyway." Ben stood up to emphasize his point, "In fact I will actively deny this relationship ever existed, I'll convince her to do the same as well as my friends." He took a second before he continued, "Mom? Dad? I love you both. If you two continue with this I promise you… that's the end of our relationship."

Amanda was about to speak, but he interrupted, "It's over." He waited a minute and then sat down. They all took a few moments to take in everything. Mr. Miller was surprised how passionate Ben was about protecting her. It made him suspicious, and he wondered if there was more going on here. Sam was proud of his brother. He was winning this conversation something he never did, and never about something so important.

Alice turned towards the Conner's, "You invited me here; I'm assuming you want my advice?" The Conner's both indicated that they did want her advice. "Don't rock the boat. Things seem to be moving in the right direction. You could muddy up the waters and who knows what could happen." She lit up again and then spoke, "My daughter is a survivor, a risk taker, and I taught her well. I'm not saying she would lash out if provoked, and I'm not saying she wouldn't." She let them think for a moment, "Doing nothing is an option."

Amanda looked at Mr. Conner, "What do you think we should do?"

He sighed and collected his notes as he stood. "Well it's pretty simple… If Ben refuses to cooperate with the police… I don't think there is much they can do." He turned towards Ben, "I'm glad you are taking some responsibility for the situation. I've got to go Roland."

"Let me help…"

"I know the way out. Amanda, Mrs. Richards," each one nodded their head as he left.

Alice extinguished her cigarette in the wine glass as she stood. "If you do decide to turn her in here is my husband's law firm."

She handed a business card to Ben's mother. "What's this for?"

"Call so I can get my husband's PR people on damage control with the media." Neither had thought that far along. "Ben could you escort me to my Bentley?" She really just wanted him to open the front door so she wouldn't have to touch it.

"Sure," they both headed for the door and exited. They both walked down to the white Bentley where a distinguished older chauffeur got out. "Henry, start the car." She turned around to face Ben, and she looked at him for a moment. "You're in love with her," she bluntly stated.

"What?"

"The way you defended my Monica; it was almost chivalrous. The way you took on your parents? He was about to speak, but she continued, "True. I don't really know you, but I think you became a man today Ben Conner." Ben was stunned by this. Monica's mother was hard to peg. She was abrasive to say the least, but he kind of liked this tough lady. She got in the backseat and the driver shut the door. She rolled down the window, "Ben?" he walked close to the car. "Tell my daughter to call me; she may need my help. Let's go Henry." The car quickly left down the street. How was he going to tell Monica he discussed her fate with her mother? He didn't want to think about it he still didn't know what his parents' decision would be.

Ben walked back into the living room and sat in his seat. The four looked at each other. Ben and his brother across from their parents. No one knew what to say or how to start. Finally Sam spoke up. "So what's the decision going to be?"

Ben's parents looked at each other. Roland moved to the edge of his seat before he spoke. He rested his elbows on his knees holding his hands. "We've decided to not turn Ms. Young in, or notify the university." Ben wanted to scream as loud as he could - he couldn't believe it. Instead he relaxed by sitting back and exhaling. Sam was impressed his little brother had pulled it off.

Amanda spoke up, "There is a condition, two in fact." Ben didn't like hearing that and became nervous. "You are dropping her class immediately."

"Mom it's t0o late to find another."

"I don't care. Take it next semester. Second, you are to have no contact wit her from now on." Sam knew that was a deal breaker.

Ben stood up angry, "This is ridiculous I'm 20 years old."

Amanda raised her voice, "Otherwise we will turn her in." That silenced Ben immediately. There wasn't anything he could do about that. "And that means no running into each other by accident, or changing her tire on the side the road. Got it?"

Ben hated this and it was obvious by his expression. "Fine," he yelled. Sam was surprised by his answer, but knew he had just flat out lied. "I have a condition." His mother tried to speak, but he cut her off. "I tell her what happened."

"Conditions and all?" his mother asked.

"Yes."

His parents looked at each other and both felt it was a reasonable request. "Ok," his father replied. Then there's no contact."

"Ok," he said quietly.

"Good it's settled," his mother said with relief. "Ben I hate arguing with you, but I love you." She stood with her arms out indicating she wanted a hug. He hugged his mother as she spoke to him, but he didn't hear her words. Could he give Monica up? He knew he didn't want to, and hadn't realized how much he had missed her till she had returned. She was in his thoughts most of the day and night. He had no idea what to do, but he couldn't risk getting her in trouble this was serious. He almost wanted to cry right there.


	16. Episode 4: Built on a Lie 3

Dino roared up the hill on his sports bike passing a car on his way up. He quickly arrived at the apartment. As he pulled next to the curb reviving the engine he noticed the silver Audi he had parked in front of. Ben had told him Ms. Young drove one and lived just a couple of blocks away. There was someone in the driver's seat, but he couldn't see from the reflection. It was another clear sunny day, but there was a definite crisp in the air. He walked towards the car as he took his helmet off and unzipped his Kawaski green leather jacket. He looked in and it was Ms. Young grading essays. She pretended she didn't notice him hoping he would go away. He knocked on the window which she rolled down.

"Oh, hello Dino, how are you?"

"I don't know is that my paper you're grading?" He flashed his teeth once he finished as he placed his helmet under his arm.

"No."

"Ok… well can I ask why you're out here?" Of course he knew, but he figured he'd make her squirm a bit. Maybe she wouldn't call on him in class so much.

She wasn't use to a student controlling the conversation. Monica didn't have a good excuse, or any excuse, so she just told him. "I'm looking for Ben. Do you know what time he gets home on Friday's?"

"I don't know where he is." He turned to look at a car coming up the hill and pass by them. "I know he doesn't have classes on Friday." She looked disappointed with that answer. "Is this important; university stuff?" She didn't know how to answer and he could tell. "It's ok Ms. Young, I know about you and Ben back at Woodrow Wilson."

"I figured you did. You know there's nothing going on now?"

He pulled out his phone and hit Ben in his list of numbers, "Oh, of course not Ms. Young." He purposely wasn't very convincing as he said it. "Dude? Where are you?" She couldn't control herself and had to smile knowing Ben was on the line. "You're kidding me," he laughed. "Well there's someone at the apartment that I think you want to talk to." Dino looked at Ms. Young, "Can you wait ten minutes?"

"Yes," she quickly answered.

"Ok dude, oh and remember I need the car tonight. Later." He folded his phone, "Ok Ms. Young I've got a hot date to dress for." He walked across the street towards the apartment.

"Thank you Dino."

He turned around, "You know, he was waiting at your office for you. I hope you two work things out." He waved, and she waved back. She had never seen that side of him. He simply cared about his friend. Ben was at her office she thought. He must have news about his parent's decision. Her stomach turned just thinking about it.

She finished two essays when she heard Ben's Camaro pull up behind her. He quickly walked up to her window. She saw him in his jeans and long sleeve navy blue shirt. He saw her with her hair down, but pulled away from her face with barrettes of some kind. He could see she wore a dark gray business suit with skirt. "Hello," Ben said.

She was a little embarrassed and grinned. "Hi Ben. I'm sorry for waiting in front of your place, but I don't know how else to contact you. Have your parents made a decision; it's been a whole week."

They had made a decision, but he hated the conditions. She could tell from his expression they had. "Oh my God they have." She frantically opened her door and moved next to him. "What, what, tell me," she excitedly begged as she grabbed at his shirt. He didn't know what to say. Monica was off the hook, but he had to give up any hope of being with her again. Why was he being punished he wondered.

He couldn't keep her waiting as he looked at her beautiful face with desperate eyes. He noticed the lone thin braid coming down the left side held behind her ear. "I convinced them that I'm an adult and that they should stay out of it. They won't bother you anymore." It just came out he couldn't believe it. He hated lying to her, but it was too painful to give her up. Could he hide their relationship for a few years from his parents? What about the university? Relationship he thought; he was getting ahead of everything, there was no guarantee they would get back together.

"Oh my God," she suddenly wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you Ben, thank you."

"I didn't really…"

"Yes you did." She backed up a step. "Ben Conner you saved me again. The entire Woodrow Wilson black cloud has been erased." She walked around to think, "This means it's all over; I can't believe it." He wanted to tell her the conditions before this got out of hand. She turned towards him and stood on her toes a couple of times with a huge smile. "I guess I have to reward you; the deal we made Monday night."

He didn't think anything could make him feel better, but that definitely put a smile on his face. He would figure it all out later; oh God what if she found out. He didn't want to think about it. "Yeah our dinner, movie date."

"A date between friends Ben," she raised her finger at him.

"Yeah I know. Do you mind driving tonight? Dino needs the car."

"I'd love to drive." She walked up to him playfully and bashfully asked, "Can I pick the movie?" He grimaced at that. "I promise you'll like it."

"Is it a romance, or a chick movie?"

"I like action movies too," she corrected him. "But yes it is a romance period film made a few years ago." His eyes went wide praying she was kidding, but realized she was serious. "C'mon, you're a smart guy keep an open mind." She got very close to him and gave him a sinful look. He knew what she was doing and as usual it was working. She was so good at playing him, but he enjoyed her games most of the time – especially when he was rewarded for being a good sport.

"Ok, but I'm picking the restaurant."

"Fine. What should I wear?"

"Casual; comfortable," he explained. They agreed on a time for her to pick him up and she entered his cell number into her phone.

A few hours later Monica honked her horn out front of Ben's place. He quickly came down the stairs and got in her car. They both subtly looked each other over as best they could. Ben had sand colored boots, blue jeans, dark gray fleece jacket, and a thin black turtle neck. Monica hadn't changed her hair and wore a red leather motorcycle style jacket complete with Velcro collar strap. He couldn't tell what kind shirt she was wearing as the tight jacket covered her well. She had on blue jeans, as well as sand colored hiking boots. "Nice boots," he mentioned as he grinned.

"Ok I liked yours so much… what do you think?"

"You look perfect," he lovingly replied.

"Thank you," she batted her eyes at him. "You look great too." She drove off and followed Ben's directions to the restaurant. Traffic was heavy in the city – normal for a Friday night – but they made it in 30 minutes. They were lucky to find a park a block away. When they got on the sidewalk Ben put his hand out for her. She took it and they began walking with big smiles. She knew Ben was going to push it tonight and she hadn't really thought about how she was going to handle him. "So what kind of food are we having?" She held onto his arm to warm up as a gust of wind blew through her hair.

"German." German she wondered, she wasn't sure if she had ever eaten German food other than sausage. He saw the look on her face as they sifted through people walking on the gray sidewalk. He laughed, "It's good; I've been here a million times. You're a smart woman have an open mind." She couldn't argue with her own advice.

"Here it is Schroeder's." There were large wooden double doors with the sign above in lights now beaming as the sun had almost disappeared. The minute Ben opened the door the warm air rushed at them as three people walked out. The polka music was undeniably noticeable as he pulled Monica inside. She immediately saw a counter with a cash register to their left. She then looked at the long bar to their right with numerous patrons drinking, talking, and laughing. The place was decorated as a 20th century European hunting lodge. The floor was wood, as well as the walls, with large wooden beams lining the ceiling, all giving the establishment a rich comfortable and warm look. They could see roughly 20 good sized round wooden tables most occupied with customers.

"Benjamin my good friend," a tall and portly man with balding gray hair walked up. Monica had difficulty understanding him with his thick accent, but she loved his well managed and impressive old traditional style mustache. He laughed when he got to Ben, and kissed him on each cheek after hugging him.

"Edvin," he laughed, you look great."

"Oh thank you my friend. I haven't seen you in a vhile. Are your studies keeping you busy?"

"Yes, yes very much," Ben had to yell as the band started up.

"How many my friend?" Edvin had turned to the counter to grab a few menus.

"Two," Ben put two fingers up as he said it.

Edvin turned around looking for the second person when he finally spotted Monica almost hiding behind Ben. "Oh my; she is so small I didn't see you there." Ben knew he would turn the charm on as Edvin was very proud of being a ladies man. He had told Ben several stories of his affairs as a young man back in Munich, and Paris. He put his hand out for Monica to grab which she nervously did. "Vhat is your name?"

"Monica."

"Emm a beautiful name for a beautiful voman."

She couldn't help, but blush, "Thank you."

He kissed her hand, "Benjamin you are a very lucky man to have such a beautiful voman at your side." It was too loud to correct him as he took off motioning them to follow. He sat them at a small table not too close to the band so they could talk. He placed down their menus, "Is this good my friend?"

"This is perfect," the couple laughed at Edvin's friendly way with them.

"Enjoy," he quickly left to attend to other patrons.

"Oh my God he's a character," Monica remarked while she laughed.

"Almost everybody who works here is like that. So vhat do you think?"

She laughed. "It's charming; I'm still trying to take it all in." She continued to look at the five piece band; accordion, trombone, sax, bass guitar, and finally the drums. Several couples began dancing some in traditional Bavarian garb. Ben was sitting across from Monica at first. He decided to move next to her as they could both see the band, and he could be closer.

A waiter came up, "Ah Benjamin, vhere have you been?"

"Hello Heinz," he shook his hand, "Yes it has been a vhile." Heinz was a short stocky man with thick dark hair in his mid 40's.

"Ok, the usual, a liter of the Bitburg?" He prepared to right down his order.

Ben waved his hands, "No, no how about just a pint?"

"Yes of course – pace yourself - for your girlfriend later tonight."

Ben quietly laughed to himself. Monica had to speak up though, "We're just friends."

"Oh, too bad. You look good together; Ben maybe you change her mind tonight –eh?" Ben knew this would happen, and that was one of the reasons he brought her here. "Pint for you too?"

Monica decided to go for it, "When in Rome…"

"Na, I've been there, it's over rated. I'll be back." He quickly scurried off to get their beer.

"My God, they're all crazy Ben."

He laughed, "I know; it hilarious."

Monica enjoyed watching Ben have such a good time. "So why is this place so special? For you I mean?"

"Oh, when I was at North Seattle I worked here, for about a year as a bus boy." He continued to watch the band and dancing as he explained. "Yeah," he looked around remembering the good times he had here.

"Well they must know you're under age then."

"Uh actually they do; or at least they should. Edvin, and Heinz took my mind off my mom's problem – her depression." He turned towards her and looked lovingly at her. "I told them about you as well."

"Really? I don't understand."

"Things weren't going well and I considered dropping out. I wasn't happy; hell I was miserable. They asked me when I was happiest. I thought about you and told them the story. Mind you I left out that you were my English teacher, and other details." He placed his hand on hers, "I know that not everything was perfect back then; not even close, but I felt so alive then." He took a moment before continuing so he could gaze into her eyes. "I didn't realize how much I missed you till that day in your English class this semester." His voice became emotional, "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again either," she placed her other hand on his. "Are you all right?" She then placed her hand on his cheek, and they just stared at each other for a minute happy to be together.

Heinz returned with two large steins of golden beer. He immediately noticed the couple totally mesmerized by each other. They were oblivious to everything else around them till he finally placed the steins down. "I've never seen friends stare at each other like you two. You must be very good friends." Monica pulled away realizing she was completely falling for him all over again.

"The specials tonight," Heinz stated. "The sauerbraten is very, very tender tonight; I had it for lunch. The schnitzel is excellent as vell."

"You'll give us some time?"

"Of course my friend; just wave vhen you need me."

Monica sipped on her beer a little freaked by what was happing so quickly. She wanted to change the subject and asked, "If you loved it here so much why did you leave?"

"The money was good. Yeah the family wanted to promote me to a waiter. Unfortunately I hadn't done well at school and had to take night classes to catch up which screwed everything. The distance from my parent's house to here was becoming a problem too."

"Your apartment is much closer," she happily pointed out.

"I know," he smiled, "I was thinking the same thing, and Blockbuster pays me so little."

They looked through the menu together as it was a bit confusing for some one there for their first time. Neither could stop taking peaks at each other ever so often as they sipped their beer, nor could they stop smiling. Ben wanted to ask her about Denver, and her father. He wanted to tell her about her mother as she had no idea Alice was rolling in money now. He knew it would ruin the mood though. He was being selfish he thought, but he didn't care right now as he looked at this beautiful woman. After they ordered the sauerbraten Ben asked if she wanted to dance. Monica was surprised as Ben didn't seem like the recreational dance type.

"Really? I don't know the steps."

"I'll teach you; it's borderline square dancing.

They both took off their jackets; Ben could finally eye Monica's form fitting red blouse. He put his hand out for her to grab, and they walked over where the other couples where dancing. He couldn't believe how nice it was to hold her in his arms, and to have her so close to him. Monica was already excited as he instructed her on the steps. He was so strong she thought and easily guided her around the dance floor. She picked it up very quickly as they both laughed often staring at each other. They soon were in their own world just the two of them with feelings that felt so familiar. It all came back so quickly, the nervous excitement, as well as the comfort, and relief from the stress. Ben forgot about the problems and just enjoyed the magical moment.

They ate and talked about what had gone on in their lives since Woodrow Wilson laughing most of the time. Monica did divulge some details about Denver; her job as an editor at a small publishing house. Not much else though. She tried to keep up with Ben with the meal, but that was never going to happen. He ordered desert to go and Heinz brought the strudel. Ben asked, "Are you looking for waiters?"

A big smile appeared on his face, "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

Heinz waved Edvin over and explained his request. He put his hand out, "We would be honored Benjamin. You're still the only one who can make a decent espresso."

Heinz threw his hands in the air, "I make a fine cup. I see you when you start Benjamin. We get back to our game of chess – yes?"

"Definitely."

"You call here tomorrow and ve work out the details," Edvin said.

"Yes."

"Good, good. Monica, it was a pleasure to meet you." She just smiled as she was afraid she may actually start crying. She was so happy for Ben, and herself it was starting to overwhelm her.

They left and soon arrived at the movie on time. Neither got anything to eat, but they did share a soda during the movie. Monica took him to Phantom of the Opera, and he was fairly confident he would hate it. At the beginning he couldn't help, but watch her enjoy it with excitement and that glorious smile. After a while he found himself engrossed in the story, and characters, even the music had peaked his interest. It was amazing how well they knew each other he thought as he grabbed her hand. She looked at him and smiled as she took a sip of their soda. He wondered about the story; a man obsessed with a woman who is infatuated with him, but not willing to get involved. In fact she's involved with another man. He couldn't help, but think about Monica, Andrew and himself – was he the phantom? Was she sending him some kind of message?

Once it ended she had to ask him excitedly, "So what did think? I know it's a few years old, and girly, but…"

"I loved it."

"You're kidding me?" She put her hand on his arm to emphasize her surprise.

"No I totally got into it."

She looked deep into his eyes and wanted to kiss him right here in the theater. He could tell what she was thinking, but wasn't sure if he should make a move. She suddenly closed her eyes while lowering her head, "Friends date," she whispered to herself. He heard what she said as well.

They didn't talk as they walked back to the car. When they did get to the Audi she gave him the keys as she just wanted to think about how well this day had been. As they drove the busy streets of Seattle Monica looked at the lights of the buildings, vehicles, and all the people walking. She couldn't believe how happy she was as she took a quick look at Ben and smiled. Again she thought about today; he had come through for her once again. His parents were done with the issue and her job was safe. The date was unbelievable tonight. She couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun this stress free. The food, the dancing, and Ben loving her favorite movie – it was too good to be true.

"So now what?" Ben asked hoping the night wouldn't end now.

Monica didn't want it to end either. "I don't know," she shyly answered.

"Well can a friend show another friend his new apartment?" He cringed a bit because he figured she would say no.

Monica just knew this was a bad idea, but she didn't want to ruin the mood. "Just a tour?"

"That's it; I promise," he excitedly answered in disbelief she was going for it.


	17. Episode 4: Built on a Lie 4

Ben quickly drove to his apartment and couldn't believe it when he saw the Camaro parked. What the hell is Dino doing here he thought.

"Is there something wrong Ben?"

He parked her car behind his and shut it off. "Dino had a date, but the car is here."

"Maybe it ended early?" she wondered out loud. Actually she was a bit relieved he was here. Nothing would happen with one of his friends here.

"Yeah maybe, let's go." This totally sucked Ben thought. "Maybe he brought his date back here," he whispered to Monica as they crossed the street, and climbed the stairs.

Ben listened at the door to hear any noises, but there was nothing. He put the key in the front door at the top of the stairs. Monica couldn't stop laughing as she stood behind him. It was a combination of nervousness and excitement as they tried to sneak in. "Monica… please shut up," he said in a hushed voice. She tried and was successful for about one second as she gripped on to him tightly. She laughed out loud again. "Oh c'mon," he whispered. The second the door opened he got a big whiff of marijuana. He wondered what Monica would think. Oh man it's too late now, he turned to face Monica, "I know this sounds weird, but would you mind waiting?" She was puzzled, but agreed to wait a minute.

He walked inside to see Dino wearing the headphones - blasting them - while smoking pot, and watching the Speed Channel on the large TV. Ben looked around to see the multiple unpacked boxes. There was a couch, and coffee table, placed for use with the entertainment center against the wall. Ben stood there for a moment as Dino was almost hidden in the maze of boxes. It was only a couple of seconds before Dino sensed someone in the room. He turned and saw Ben. He quickly removed the headphones, "Dude? What are you doing here?" he quickly jumped to his feet from the floor wearing red shorts and a black t-shirt.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had a date?"

Dino collapsed on the couch, "She called and cancelled on me."

Ben felt bad for his friend especially after the wonderful night he had with Monica. "I'm sorry to here that. You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm just in a slump right now. Forget about me; what about you? How'd everything go?"

Ben smiled, "Surprisingly well."

"Thank God. I'm not sure how much more of you're soap opera bullshit I can take. Details dude," he began packing a pipe full of weed.

"Hey D? Do really think you need more? It smells like you've been smoking all night."

"It's a celebration dude."

"I've kind of got a friend with me," Ben explained shyly while he pointed his thumb back towards the door.

Dino was confused at first, "Uh friend?" It could only be Ms. Young he thought. He quickly stood up, "You brought her here," he excitedly asked with a hushed voice.

Ben opened the door and said, "Come on in." Ms. Young slowly walked in with her head down a little with a shy demeanor.

She continued into the room and gently dragged her fingers along the couch. "Hello Dino; I hope we're not interrupting anything?" He looked at her in the red leather motorcycle jacket which impressed him being a motorcycle rider himself. Dino forgot to answer, but he soon noticed Ben pointing to his own hand. He realized he was holding a pipe in his hand. He suddenly flung it under his arm behind him into a corner. It was totally obvious and the three could easily here it crash into the wall behind him. Ms. Young laughed with satisfaction, "Oh don't worry I'm not the police. I was an undergraduate not too long ago."

"Hi Ms. Young… how are you doing?"

She looked at Ben with a smile and she sighed with relief. "A lot better than I have in a very long time." She looked around as Ben shut the front door. "It looks like you two have a lot of unpacking to do." They both answered yes. Ms. Young pulled her Velcro collar open and unzipped her jacket. "So Ben?"

"Uh yeah."

"What's down there?" She said looking towards the dark hallway.

He was so glad she asked that. "My room, it's down the hallway," he pointed.

She put her hand out for him to take hold of. "You don't mind do you Dino? A lot has changed suddenly. Ben and I have a lot to discuss."

"Uh no, of course not," Dino answered.

Ben smiled at Dino and took her hand. He couldn't believe how relaxed she was, and her entire attitude had been very different tonight. Monica didn't seem to care if Dino knew she was involved with Ben; she had assumed he knew everything after she left for Denver anyway. She was happy Ben thought. He led her down the pitch black hallway until he turned the light on in his room at the end of the hall. The light on the ceiling was bright and Ms. Young had to put her other hand up to block the harsh light. "I know this light is bad," he explained. "Let me get a lamp," he walked over to a night stand next to his bed and turned a lamp on. "Ok hit the light." She quickly hit the switch and the room darkened considerably.

"Much better," she said as she looked around. She was surprised how tidy and organized everything was. There was a desk with a computer on top at the front by the doorway. There was an entertainment center next to it with a TV, stereo, books, and CD's. Across from it was a queen size bed with head board against the back wall. There was a night stand on each side, each with a lamp on top. There was a window covered by drapes on one side and a sliding glass door next to a night stand on the back wall. The glass door had a white sheet over it as a make shift drapery. The wall by the entrance had no furniture of any kind to keep a clear pathway to the sliding glass door. She quickly noticed the seven movie posters on that wall. She looked at Ben, "These frames…," she touched one, "They're beautiful. Where did you have them done?"

"Jonathan does them for me."

"Are these your favorite movies or something," she walked along the wall inspecting each one.

He sat down on the bed, "No, not necessarily I just like the way they look."

She stopped at the last one and looked at it closely. She turned towards Ben, "She's beautiful," she turned back to continue looking at the picture of the beautiful brunette with mysterious dark eyes. "Firestarter 2: Rekindeled?"

"Yeah, have you ever seen it," he asked.

"No I haven't. Does she remind you of someone?"

Ben grinned, "Well yeah, that's why I have it up."

"She looks like Professor Moreau; my colleague you met in my office." She decided to mess with Ben, one of her favorite past times.

He was confused while it was true Jesse looked similar to Monica the poster was a dead ringer for Ms. Young. "She reminds me of you."

She turned to face him, "Pictures of me in your glove compartment the other night, and now this? You're getting a little obsessed with me don't you think?" She couldn't help, but grin.

He realized she was screwing with his head. He decided to answer her question, "I'm totally obsessed with you." He got up and walked towards her with his hands out.

She playfully escaped to the sliding glass door, "What's out here?"

"A small balcony."

"Can I see?"

"Sure," he walked over behind her as she tried to unlock the door. He slowly slid his arm by her waist under her arm. "Here, some times the door sticks. She stood there waiting while Ben pretended to unlock the door. Their bodies were touching while Ben basically had his arm around her and she was getting excited from their contact. He lowered his head and whispered in her ear, "What should we do about my total obsession?" She smiled, but didn't answer. She finally got tired of him fiddling with the door and moved his hand so she could unlock it.

She had it open in half a second, "Yeah real tough door there Ben." He helped her spread the split in the sheet and they both walked out into the cool air.

"Seriously what are we going to do about my obsession?" he asked. She giggled as she walked out to the wooden railing to rest her arms. There was a small table in the middle, but against the railing, which Monica stood on the right side of. Ben was forced to stand to the left separated from her by three or four feet.

"Oh my. Ben looked at that moon; it's so low in the sky, and almost full," she excitedly announced.

He leaned against the railing while he turned towards her. "Yeah it's great," he said with no emotion.

She looked at him, "What? C'mon it's beautiful." She continued to stare at the moon like a child stared at present to be opened.

"My question Monica?"

She knew he was going to push it tonight once he told her his parents would stay out of it. She turned towards him grinning, "Well "I'm not sure what you're going to do about it, but – we - won't be doing anything about it." She giggled as she finished. "Remember Ben this is a friends date as you put it the other night." He turned to look at the moon and sighed. Monica quickly changed the subject, "I want to thank you again; for Monday night in the parking lot."

"You're welcome. It was nothing."

"Oh yes it was you saved me from God knows what." He acknowledged that with his expression. Monica suddenly had an excited expression, "Do you think you can teach me a few… moves; for self defense?"

Ben's mood improved with that question, "Uh, well sure, I'd love to." He turned towards her with a wounded expression, "Oh, but there's a problem."

"What?"

"Well I know you dance in your play rehearsals and everything, but when you do this kind of training your body will recondition itself."

She was confused, "Ok, so what?"

"You will probably become pretty soar after each training session. So I will be forced to give you a full body massage for at least an hour after each session."

She immediately laughed, "Oh is that right?" Ben couldn't keep a straight face any longer. "So are you any good at these massages?"

Ben couldn't believe she asked that, but thank God she did. He walked around the table and placed his hands on her shoulders. He began to rub her shoulders and quickly moved up to her neck. Monica was enjoying his hands on her as her body relaxed. It was so peaceful as she watched the moon, and smelled the smoke from the chimney of some near by home. "You know when I do these after a session you'll have to be completely nude," he tried not to laugh.

He kept pushing it and ruined the moment for her. "Ok, that's it," she flinched her shoulders so he would remove his hands. She spun around to confront him expecting him to back up, but he didn't. She was caught off guard he stayed so close. Monica's back was against the railing when Ben put his hands on the railing one on each side of her – she was totally surrounded. He then leaned in close to her with their faces only inches away from each other. They could easily see each other in the moonlight that bathed them. "Remember Ben this a friends date," she said meekly.

That's not what he wanted to hear, so he decided to play her game. He looked into her wide open eyes as they became more excited be their closeness. They could both smell their perfumes. "You're so beautiful."

"Thank you," she answered nervously.

He moved in even closer as there noses almost touched, and they could easily feel the heat from their breath. "So I don't get it," he whispered. "What are you afraid of?" She tried to move to the side, but he didn't budge – she was trapped.

"I'm not afraid," she uncomfortably answered.

If they kissed, it would be because she went for it, Ben had decided. He wasn't putting his head on the chopping block again. Besides it was working she looked nervous as hell. He was surprised how relaxed he was especially while being literally inches from her beautiful lips. He was in charge for once and he intended to enjoy this.

"Ben stop it." She hated not being in control, and if Ben continued this she was afraid she would lose total control. She had to change the subject quick she thought, "I'm thirsty."

He couldn't deny her request and sighed as he closed his eyes while lowering his head. He had enjoyed his control, but it was a short bliss.

"What?

"I'm thirsty Ben."

He didn't look up as his cheek was being brushed by her hair, "Water, juice, soda…"

"I could kill for a beer," she answered.

He looked up at her, "Seriously?"

"Yes please," she happily answered.

"Good, because we probably don't have that other stuff anyway." He stood up straight, "I hope Miller's all right?"

"I don't really care."

"I'll be right back," he left the balcony, and headed for the kitchen.

Monica turned around to view the moon low in the sky. She noticed her left hand shaking. What the hell was this about she wondered. This was a friends date, a first date. Ben wasn't a friend though he was an ex-lover she thought standing there by herself. Rekindel she kept thinking - rekindel.

Ben walked down the hallway and saw Dino wearing his headphones blasting them while blasting away aliens on the X Box. Ben headed for the kitchen and Dino noticed someone was here. He turned around and spotted Ben entering the kitchen. He got up, ripped off the headphones and followed Ben, stopping at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Dude?" Dino looked down the hallway to make sure Ms. Young wasn't lurking around. "What's going on?"

"Monica's thirsty. I'm just getting us some beer." He searched through the top shelf in the refrigerator which was stocked with beer.

"Can you get me one dude?"

Ben handed it to him and brought two more out. He started looking around. "Where are those jerky sticks?"

"Junk drawer," Dino answered as he twisted open the bottle and took a good chug. Ben found them and grabbed two.

"So Ben what's going on? Why did you bring her here?"

"Why do you think?" Ben jammed the Slim Jims in his back pockets as best he could.

"Are you back together is what I mean."

"Listen we had a great time tonight it couldn't have gone any better. I just think that neither of us wants the night to end. I don't know if anything is going to happen, and she's right, we have a lot to talk over."

"I'm rooting for you Ben," he gently punched him in the shoulder as he exited the kitchen.

Ben stopped in the hallway and turned toward Dino. "Thanks D, I appreciate it.

He entered his room and noticed the stereo was on. It was an easy listening station, but current music. Not quite his style, but perfect for the mood tonight. He walked out on to the balcony to see Monica still mesmerized by the low lunar orbit. He immediately thought about the lie. How could he do this to her? She finally had trusted someone and its foundation was built on a lie. He actually felt like spilling his guts, but she turned around, and that unbelievable smile stopped him from any rational thought. Her excited eyes, bright wide smile, with dimples, and those luscious lips he so desperately missed. He walked over and placed his Miller Draft on the small table. He twisted the top for her, and handed the bottle to her. She took a hefty sip, "Oh that's good. I can't believe how thirsty I am."

"Are you hungry?"

"I don't know, what did you have in mind?" they just came from the restaurant so she didn't quite get his question. He pulled out the Slim Jim jerky stick hanging out of his back pocket. He dangled it in front of her.

"Oh you're kidding me right? You remembered Ben."

"It's just beef, or something… jerky," he explained. "You want me to open it?" Monica nodded yes. He tore it open and then handed it to her.

She took a quick bite. She couldn't help herself, "Spicy too Ben? Thank you."

"It's nothing Monica," he knew she loved them, but was surprised how much she was into it.

"Have I told you… you are the most thoughtful guy I've ever met?"

For some reason this surprised him. "No. Why?"

"The little things Ben… impress her with those. The big gifts – in size or price tag – they're wonderful, don't get me wrong. They don't last, and no one cares two months later."

"Really?

"Well that's how I feel about it," she clarified as she took a sip.

"Thanks for the advice." They stood there silent for a minute as Monica finished her beef jerky stick, and Ben sipped on his beer.

"You're welcome friend," she said friend to remind him what this date was about again.

Ben sighed. "You know Monica if you mention this is a "friends" only date again I'm going to dump my beer over your lovely little head."

She wasn't sure if he was serious, but she sensed some frustration from him. It didn't seem he was enjoying her little joke, "I'm sorry Ben," she said sadly.

They stood there for a few minutes - over thinking - everything. "Monica, I want to thank you for tonight."

"We had a deal and you came through for me." She gave him a big smile.

The deal just reminded him of the massive lie. He didn't want to think about it. "I mean the movie tonight."

She turned toward him, "I know you said you liked it, but really what did you think?"

God she looked so happy tonight he thought, "Here." He handed her his beer and began moving the table that separated them. She handed him back the beer and he stood next to her touching arms. Her nervous excitement quickly returned as she could feel her heart rate increase. Why was she acting like a high school girl on her very first date? Maybe it was because there weren't any barriers stopping them from being together. There was her job she remembered the college's no teacher student relationship policy. After Jesse said she would go for it for Ben it no longer seemed that big of a barrier. "Monica?"

"Oh sorry Ben I was thinking. Oh yes Phantom," she asked him.

"Well I loved it; the music too."

"Really, you're not just saying that?"

He shook his head, "No. I might even pick up the soundtrack."

That surprised her, "I have it. You can borrow it."

"Thanks." He turned serious now, "I was wondering if you picked that movie because of us? The Phantom wanting Christine and she being interested, intrigued by him, while she's involved with…"

"I'm sorry Ben. I never saw the bizarre parallel with you, Andrew, and some love triangle till now." She grabbed his arm hoping he believed her. "It wasn't intentional; it must be my subconscious," her voice became emotional as she finished.

Ben sensed her distress, stood up while he placed his bottle on the railing. He faced her, "It's ok I believe you." She was embarrassed how she was losing it over such a trivial matter. Why was she being so overwhelmed with her feelings tonight? Ben saw a tear trickle down her cheek.

"Monica why are you crying? You should be happy tonight." He moved close to her and put his arms around her.

She slid her arms around his waist and squeezed as she rested her head on his chest. She felt safe, warm, and could relax in his arms. "I am happy. I don't think I'm use to it." She shed only one more tear before she stop crying. Monica looked up at Ben and gazed into his eyes. "I'm so unbelievable nervous my hands are shaking."

"I'm nervous too."

"Why?"

"There's nothing stopping us anymore," he said lovingly to her. He began to stroke her hair. He fondled the single braid of hair on her left side, "I love this."

She smiled at him, "Really?" He nodded yes. She quietly laughed, "Jesse did that at the office today. She was bored as usual." Monica was about to speak again, but Ben suddenly slid his hands around the sides of her jaw line and cradled her. He softly rubbed her cheek with his thumb to dry what was left of her tear. He then lowered his head and gently pressed his lips on to hers. They both closed their eyes as the kiss progressed very slowly. They both continued to softly massage each others lips till they had to break for air. Ben looked at Monica in the moonlight as she smiled. She didn't open her eyes for several seconds enjoying the feelings surging through her body and mind.

When she did open her eyes she could see Ben was going to kiss her again, and he placed his lips on hers as she slid her arms around his neck. Ben began to feel her body with his hands sliding them down her back and resting them on her rear. He firmly squeezed catching Monica by surprise causing her to moan. She suddenly broke from him and turned away towards the glass door. "What time is it?"

"Monica please don't leave now," he begged her.

"We're going too fast."

"It was a kiss."

"Andrew," she blurted out.

"What about him," he asked somewhat annoyed.

She took Ben's hand and held it with both of hers. "I can't say I'm in love with him, but there are feelings still there. I can't just deny them."

Why the hell not he thought to himself. He closed his eyes and promised himself he wouldn't lose it. The last thing he wanted was to drive her back to Andrew. "Monica… do you think he is coming back? Has he called you?" She looked down sadly and didn't answer. Ben took that as a no.

"What time is it," she quietly asked.

He looked at his watch, "Almost midnight."

"It's getting late," she let go of his hand and turned back towards the door.

Ben grabbed her arm to stop her. "It's Friday night. You're a young woman out with a guy who would do anything for you. He might even be in love with you if you would just give him a chance." She was taken a back with that statement. He was frustrated and turned towards the railing. She had to think for a moment. It was true Andrew hadn't called, and had dumped her when she needed him most. Only Ben had stood by her side, he had possibly saved her life Monday, and above all he got his parents to drop the Woodrow Wilson past. What am I so God damn afraid of she asked herself?

"Can you give me a minute to think?"

"Take whatever time you need," he was getting angry as he leaned on the railing.

"I'll be in you're room," she walked past the sheet. Ben wasn't sure what to do, but he didn't think he could convince her tonight that they should be together. He sighed realizing she just wasn't ready. He thought about how well things went tonight, and smiled. It was a start he figured.

Monica looked through Ben's CD collection trying to figure out what to do. He was totally right; they where a great couple on a beautiful Friday night. They had a wonderful dinner with dancing, and Ben loved one of her favorite movies. He convinced his parents she kept thinking. She thought for sure that would be impossible. Monica saw the Firestarter 2 poster and focused on Rekindel. She was so close to staying longer when Ben entered the room.

"Monica, I'm sorry for getting mad out there." A new song came on the stereo and Monica couldn't believe it. It was an old song, but such a special song for her.

"Oh my God Ben."

"What?"

"This song," she walked over to the stereo and turned it up. Ben didn't recognize it. "I'm sorry Ben," she walked over to him and took his hand in hers. She was clearly excited as she placed his hand on her chest over her heart.

Ben was stunned, and wondered what had changed her attitude so fast. "Was Dino in here with his pipe or something?"

She laughed, "No, no. This song; after we first kissed in my yellow VW that night."

"Yeah." He thought about that kiss and damn was it a fond memory. It was nothing compared to the kiss several minutes ago, but very important in their relationship. Ben quickly refocused his attention with his hand on Monica's warm chest through her open leather jacket. "Monica this isn't fair you know."

"I'm sorry this is important. This song," she tried to remember the title as she listened. "Heaven something. It came on the radio after we kissed. It didn't stop till I got home that night." Her eyes welled up, "It has always reminded me of you and the wonderful afternoon we spent together. My God that seems so long ago," she quietly said. "It must mean something that it comes on at this moment – correct?"

He listened to the song and he liked the haunting female voice. "Well yes."

"Heavens Going to Burn Your Eyes, that's it." Monica was finished trying to fight him off anymore. She wanted to have fun, Andrew wasn't coming back, and Ben wanted her so badly. Tonight was the night as far as she was concerned. "I'm such a drama queen Ben." No shit he thought to himself. "I apologize," she said as she walked forward pushing Ben back to the bed till he had no choice, but to sit down. Monica continued forward forcing Ben to fall backwards as she collapsed on top of him. Even though he was totally taken by surprise by her actions, he began scooting back with Monica riding along, and climbing on him. Ben was so nervous now. The love of his short life – who had rejected him many times recently - was now all over him. He expected her to be leaving in the next few minutes and drive home. Instead she roughly placed her lips on to his. He was trying to brace himself somewhat staying up while Monica kissed him hard ending with a smack sound as they parted. "Wow Monica."

"Yeah?"

She was already straddling him and just the weight of her body on his got him excited. He laid down flat as he witnessed how excited Monica had become. She grabbed his hands and stretched them over his head as she moved in for another kiss. She caressed his lips with hers as she slowly slid her tongue into his mouth. He was again caught by surprise and was slow to respond, but finally worked her tongue. She had Ben so worked up he moaned a couple of times while she enjoyed herself. He kept hearing the haunting female vocalist repeat the word heaven. "Oh my God Monica, you are heaven," he finally could speak when she moved down to his neck. She didn't stop till the song finally ended which was fine with Ben.

"Do you know how good you taste Ben Conner," she whispered. Ben smiled at that comment. She leaned over him and stared into his eyes. Monica began pulling out the barrettes in her hair which allowed it to flow down further dangling on his face. They were both breathing heavy with rapid heart beats. She braced herself with her left hand and caressed his cheek with the other hand. "You know it wasn't you I stayed away from it was the circumstances." He didn't answer as he already knew that. "I'm worried though," she said revealing further her excitement as her eyes shifted left to right rapidly. Oh no what now he wondered? "I'm worried we'll get back together, and in one, two, or three months you'll be breaking up with me in some boiler room again."

How could she say that? He struggled to sit up as Monica sat up still sitting on top of him. With their faces only a few inches away he spoke calmly. "I told you that I regretted that, and I would never do that again."

"No, no, you're misunderstanding me. I believe you Ben; that you would never hurt me like that again. It's just that I still think about it." Ben wondered if she sensed his lie to her, and his parents. Monica looked down, "I'm sorry I'm such an idiot. I don't know why I'm bringing this up now." She embarrassingly looked at him, "Is it hot in here?" He looked at her sinfully and grabbed her hand, "What are doing Ben?" He unzipped the black zipper on the cuffs of her red leather jacket. He then helped her get the jacket off to reveal the red button down blouse. He folded the jacket in half lengthwise and placed it on the corner of the bed. He then spun both of them around playfully slamming Monica on her back as he rested on top of her. He pulled her hands over her head stretching her whole body out. "Oh Ben that feels so good," she said as she giggled. He quickly connected his lips to hers inserting his tongue. Both of them where more aggressive with this kiss as the heat and intensity continued to build. They where both deeply focused on each other, and their bliss, as their senses were being strained by their touching. Ben moved down her neck kissing her using his tongue to tickle her. He continued further caressing her chest with his lips and then massaging her breast though her shirt and bra with his face. She put her fingers through his hair with her eyes closed, and quietly said, "Oh yes Ben keep doing that."

After a few minutes of the playful petting Ben rolled on to his side next to her. Breathing heavy he sad, "Jesus it is hot in here." Monica laughed while she flicked her hair out of the way as she lay on her back. Ben placed his hand on her flat belly and slowly moved up to the top button of her shirt. She turned her head slightly to watch him as he slowly unbuttoned the first one, then the second one, then the third one all very slowly to keep the tension high. Monica was actually pretty relaxed when Ben was kissing her chest massaging her breasts through her shirt. She was now getting more excited as Ben opened her shirt. He placed his hand on her exposed waist and began slowly moving up.

She placed her hands on his hand and looked at him, "I'm embarrassed."

"About what? Your gorgeous," he excitedly answered.

"I didn't wear anything special for you; just my cheap sporty Hanes underwear," she softly said.

He looked her body up and down admiring her cute light gray cotton bra supporting her lovely breasts. She looked great in her blue jeans with black leather belt all finished off with sand colored hiking boots. "Don't worry I forgive you… this time," he began to tickle her.

She quickly sat up giggling, "Ok stop it. She scooted back towards the end of the bed and got on her knees. "Ok, your shirt; time to come off."

"You still have yours on. You haven't even unbuttoned your sleeves."

"What if I help you with yours Ben," she grinned and moved towards him on all fours. He closed his eyes grinning and waited for her to climb on to him as he sat there. She placed both hands on his chest feeling his fairly well developed physique. "Oh my, my, I don't remember this Ben Conner," she couldn't stop grinning.

"Well it has been four years Monica."

"Do you workout?"

"A little weight training and the karate of course."

She lifted, to pull over the thin turtle neck over his head and arms. She realized Ben had definitely changed from four years ago. "All this for me," she was giddy as she placed her hand over his shoulder and bicep.

"I'm all ours Monica… finally."

"Your beautiful Ben," she gazed into his eyes.

He blushed and pulled her close to him. "Are you going to unbutton your sleeves?"

"Yes sir," she quickly did that and then placed her hands on each side of his face. She aggressively placed her lips onto his as they played with each others tongue. The kiss went on for some time with heavy breathing when Ben finally had to break away for air. Monica didn't quit though and remained latched onto is lower lip held firmly by her lips till his finally slipped through her grasp. She grinned and let out a sinful laugh while she wiped her lower lip with her thumb.

"Monica we might have to slow down every once and a while."

She had a worried look on her face, "Why I don't understand."

"Well at this pace I'll be useless in 60 seconds." She was still confused. "We don't want to over excite me too early."

"Oh," she laughed quietly. "Yes I could feel that you were ready; no problem, slow is fine with me." They were both startled with a loud knock at the door. Monica still straddling Ben quickly turned to look at the door behind her as Ben held on to her waist with one hand and her rear with another. "Ben the door."

"Don't worry I locked it earlier," he explained as he tried to watch the door through Monica's flowing hair. "Dino?"

"Yeah. Hey listen I ordered a pizza if you guys are interested?"

Monica quietly laughed as she placed her hand over her mouth, "Is he kidding?" She asked in a hushed voice.

Ben laughed, "I know," he replied in a hushed voice. He answered louder now to travel through the door. "Uh thanks D… maybe later."

Dino bit into his knuckle trying not to laugh. He just knew they were doing a hell of lot more than having a discussion. "Sure dude."

Ben let go and fell back on the bed. Monica couldn't believe it, "Oh my God is he that dense?"

He laughed, "He's probably screwing with us."

Monica began rubbing his chest, "Ben… we might have a problem."

He quickly sat up, "Monica please don't ruin this night, I know it's late…"

She placed her index finger on his lips, "Shish honey, I'm not going anywhere. I just wanted to know if you have any protection. I didn't bring any… this time," she smiled at him.

He was relieved, "Oh, yeah I have some." He tugged on her shirt reminding her it was suppose to come off. She acknowledged what he was communicating and he helped get her shirt off. Ben couldn't help himself and placed his finger on the exposed top of her breast, which were practically in his face. He followed the contours along the top of her bra with his finger.

"Are you having fun?" she questioned in a sensual voice.

"Oh God yes."

She pushed him backwards and he crashed on his backside laughing. "Ok Ben, these condoms, where would I find them?"

He pointed to the nightstand to her left. She leaned over while still sitting on top of him. She pulled open the drawer, and searched for them. Monica quickly found the box and tossed it onto Ben's chest. He began reading the unopened box reminding him his sex life had been pretty much dead the last seven months. After a while he realized Monica was rather quiet. He moved the box so he could look up at her. She was flipping through a magazine, oh God one of my nudi magazines he noted. How was she going to react he wondered? It was a Playboy one of the tamer magazines he had in the drawer. Monica shifted her position on top of Ben. "So you're into pornography?" She sounded more like Ms. Young than Monica just then.

"No," he laughed, "That's just…"

She interrupted him and flashed a picture of a nude woman. "This is pornography Ben." He didn't answer as he was so close to making love with Monica. "How the hell am I suppose to compete with this," she whined as she continued to flip pages.

"What are you talking about?"

"These pictures? Is this what you fantasize about?" She flashed him another picture.

He quickly sat up, "There is no caparison. I think about you the minute I wake up." That made her feel good, but she continued to flip pages. He tried to grab the magazine, but she pulled it back before he could reach it. "Your lectures?"

That got her attention, "Yes?"

"I know you spend a lot time on them, but I never hear them," he explained.

She was surprised, "Seriously? You're doing so well."

"It's not that I don't listen to your beautiful voice; because I do. I'm so distracted, and mesmerized by you, well…"

"You want extra credit?" They looked at each other and quietly laughed.

He snatched the magazine from her and pointed to it. "I haven't looked at one of these since I saw you at UW." He tossed it at the wall.

She smiled at him, "Ok. Will you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Will you throw them out," she asked him as he pulled her close to him. His lips were inches from her breasts in her light gray bra, and she could feel his hot breath.

"Uh, sure."

"Seriously?" she asked surprised at his answer.

He laughed, "No."

"Ben," she whined.

"Well if I had a girlfriend… that could make a difference."

She giggled as she pushed him down and reached for the box of condoms. "We'll see what we can do about your love life Ben Conner." She opened the box and pulled one out.

"Monica?"

"Yes."

"I think we slowed down too long… I'm not exactly ready anymore."

She rolled off him and rested on her side with a leg and boot still across his legs. "Oh I see," she looked at his jeans. "Well I can fix that."

"Oh," Ben grinned as he got up and braced himself with his elbows. Monica looked into his eyes, placed her soft hand on his stomach, and slowly moved it down towards his pants. She turned her head once she reached his pants and began unbuttoning them. After each button she would look back at him to watch his reaction. She could see the complete excitement in his eyes as his breathing intensified. She could tell he was already responding to her touch, and she continued by slowly slipping her hand into his jeans on top of his underwear. Ben closed his eyes as he let his head fall back still holding himself up with his elbows. Monica looked back to watch him. She was pleased he was enjoying it as she massaged him. He finally couldn't hold himself up and collapsed all the way down. "Oh God yes."

"How am I doing Ben?"

"Oh my God; you are so good at this, I…," it had become so intense he couldn't finish his sentence. It wasn't long after she started he had to stop her before he would lose control. "Monica we better…"

"Ok you seem to be ready," she said seductively as she got up off the bed. She put her hand out and pulled him as he moved to the edge of the bed to sit. She untied his boots, after which he took them off sliding them under the night stand. Monica put her foot on the bed so he could untie her boot and take it off. After he took the other one off she motioned for him to stand. She stood facing his side, "Emm you look so hot in your jeans," she spanked him. She began to caress his ass, and then his thigh. Monica then slid his pants down and after he stepped out of them she began to fold them in half lengthwise. Ben laughed, grabbed them and then threw them in the corner.

"Ok," she laughed. He sat on the bed and pulled her by her belt towards him. He placed his hands on her hips and kissed her stomach, "Your so beautiful Monica. I must be the luckiest man on earth tonight."

"I must be the luckiest woman," she lovingly responded. He looked up at her and began undoing her belt. He undid the button, the zipper, and then helped her step out of her jeans. He thought he would be a gentleman and fold her pants like she tried for him. She responded the same way he had by grabbing them and tossing them on top of his in the corner. She picked up the condom and tore it open. She seductively asked, "Do you need any help getting this on?"

Ben's eyes went wide at her question. He had trouble answering at first, "Uh… yeah, sure. Jesus Monica I can't believe this is happening."

"What Ben? You can do it yourself if you want I just thought we would have more fun if I did it."

Ben stood while grinning, "You never stop surprising me." He kissed her on the forehead and slid into bed under the covers. She followed and they both removed their underwear throwing them on the floor. Monica began placing the condom on Ben as she giggled. He enjoyed her fondling him and spoke with relief, "Oh God I never thought putting one of these things on could feel so good." Once finished she looked up at him smiling. They didn't say anything for a minute as they stared into each other's eyes. They couldn't believe they were going to share themselves with each other, again.

Monica had been rather relaxed during their foreplay, but the nervous excitement she had experienced earlier had quickly returned. It had been four years since she had made love with Ben and she wondered if it would be the same, or better. He had grown up, and matured in so many ways. Monica remembered his body well and this wasn't it. He had become a man, a healthy one at that, she really didn't know what to expect. Before he had no experience what so ever as she was his first lover. Even though she knew that was wrong she felt privileged to be his first. She knew he had been with a few girls since then and wondered how different it would be. Monica's self esteem issues kicked in and she prayed he wasn't disappointed with her tonight.

Ben couldn't believe this was finally happening. After he saw her in English class she dominated his thoughts. He was thrilled, even honored, that she was giving herself to him. He knew it would be better than before as he was more experienced with sex, and he remembered every little detail of their past love making. He remembered how, and where she liked to be touched, as she might have been controlling then, she was an excellent teacher in bed. He just admired her beauty, her long hair, those eyes with long lashes, that smile, and that wonderful shine of her lovely skin. He must be dreaming he thought. His nightmare crept into to his thoughts though. She trusted him and he had lied, possibly betrayed her, about his parents backing off. He blocked it out as he thought to himself nothing can ruin this moment.

She finally slid on top of Ben. "Oh Monica," he moaned.

She felt the same and just rested on top of him. She kissed him passionately with her hands on his face. "You feel so good Ben." She moved in a slow rhythm as Ben closed his eyes, and just lost himself in her pleasuring him.

Monica had him so worked up he moaned loudly. "I've missed you so much."

She didn't answer as she picked up speed, "Oh God Ben," she declared with a very emotional tone. She sat up with the covers falling down her back. Monica continued to work Ben as she moved her hands through her hair. "Oh yes," she yelled out. He moaned her name many times as they gratified each other.

"Monica wait a second," he requested as he sat up. "Can you give me a minute?" They were both breathing hard and could feel the perspiration from their over heated bodies. They were both grateful the covers had slipped down her back to release the tremendous heat they generated. Ben looked at her in the dim lighting and wondered how he could have been so stupid at the boiler room. Yes she got weird and gave Sue an unwarranted D on her paper. It was his fault that happened he felt. He realized now that he had driven her to it - and Sam. Thank God she gave him a second chance even if it was years later. He placed his lips on one of her perfect breasts and gently massaged and teased her nipple with his tounge.

She closed her eyes and slid her fingers through his scalp. "Oh Ben... that's wonderful," she expressed in a passionate voice. He continued to indulge her by fondling her with his hands, lips, and face. She was in her on world at this point. He was in charge knowing exactly what to do and blowing her mind and body away. "Oh yes Ben Conner; you're amazing."

Ben felt he had relaxed enough and spun them both around with Monica on her back now. He quickly reentered her which forced her to let out a loud moan as she gasped for air. He sped up his rhythm and Monica felt at this rate he would out last her. This wasn't the clumsy boy she had been with in the janitor's storeroom, or her mother's house. He continued to power away as she ran her fingers through his hair enjoying every single second with every single movement. "Oh yes Ben, honey, keep going," she yelled with her eyes closed as they both rocked backwards and forwards.

Dino was biting into his knuckle trying not to laugh as he heard the two. He couldn't believe after all this time they had finally returned to each other. It was just so weird he thought to himself. One of his best friends was able to mesmerize a woman seven years older than him not knowing where she was, or doing for the last four years. The more he thought about it the more depressed he got as his date disappeared tonight. Dino dialed Jonathan as he walked down the hallway.

"Hello."

"Jonathan," he asked in a hushed voice.

"Dino? What's up? Why are you whispering?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm in my kitchen. Debs and me are baking cookies," he happily explained. Dino rolled his eyes sick with the love birds and their cookies. Jon is in the kitchen? Perfect he thought. That was just below Ben's bedroom.

"Turn your TV down." Jonathan reached for the remote and hit the mute button. Both he and Debra instantly heard the noise of the two lovers upstairs. They both looked at each other and grinned.

"Who is that?" Debra asked Jonathan in a giddy voice.

"Is that Ben?" He excitedly asked Dino.

"Yep, and you know who he's with. He brought her over around 10:45."

"Unbelievable man. Talk to you later dude." Jonathan hung up and was shocked. He wasn't really sure why, but he was.

"So it's Ben? Who is he with?"

"What? Oh, um some girl, maybe that Katie chick.

"I wonder if we're that loud," she asked. They both laughed.

Once Ben and Monica had completed their love for each other they just rested staring at the ceiling. Both wanted to tell the other how amazing their love making was and especially how unbelievably better it had become. Monica had to break the silence and decided to tease Ben. She rolled onto her right side, "So you really don't listen to my lectures?"

He laughed and rolled towards her, and looked into her eyes. He waited a moment as he thought. He didn't care if she was serious or not. He was going to tell her how he felt, "Monica Young… that was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced."

She blushed and batted her eyes. She moved next to him, and kissed him, as they began to gently place their hands on each other. They would make love two more times that night each time more intense and lasting longer than before. Monica would stay the night in Ben's bed, and while they were totally exhausted they got little sleep as they both wondered what now?


	18. Episode 5: Completely Confused 1

Lost Love: Episode 5 Completely Confused

Ben suddenly realized that he had awakened. It only took a few seconds before Monica invaded his thoughts. He reminisced about last night and how unbelievably enjoyable their lovemaking was. It wasn't just the amazing sex for him. He genuinely cared for this woman. He had no explanation for his feelings, all he did know for sure, was that being with Monica satisfied him. Satisfy he thought. Talk about an understatement. He rolled onto his left side to look at his total obsession. She wasn't there when he looked. Oh my God it couldn't be a dream could it? He looked around to see if he could find her in his bedroom. He sighed with relief as he spotted her. She was in her light gray bra, and panties as he watched her pull her blue jeans up.

"Monica," he whispered.

She had tried to be as quiet as possible, but clearly Ben sensed her missing from his bed. "You're not leaving are you?"

She turned around, "Well yes, I am," she whispered.

"Why? Why don't we go out for breakfast," Ben inquired. She crashed on his bed and asked if he could help her with her boots. He was basically useless though as he stalled and just massaged her foot in her red sock.

"Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Honey, I get it, but I have some things to finish this weekend. I have homework to grade, and I have to hand it back on Tuesday. I'm talking four days from now. I have bills to pay, and I have no food at my place as I've done almost nothing worrying about your parents this week.

Ben thought about that, "How about I help you grade?"

"You can't; you're in the class. Ben are you going to help me with my boot or just play with my foot?"

"Is this a trick question," he grinned once he finished.

"Ok, never mind," she grabbed the boot and spun around sitting on the edge of the bed. She put both on her feet and started putting her red blouse on.

"Monica, you can't leave me alone today after what happened last night." He was practically begging her as he put on some underwear and a t-shirt.

She stood up buttoning her blouse while looking for her jacket. "Honey I would love to spend the day with you; the weekend in fact." She grabbed her jacket and put it on as Ben sat at the corner of the bed. He grabbed her by her belt buckle and pulled her to him while she played with her hair.

Monica laughed as he buried his face into her stomach. "Please don't leave me," he mockingly cried.

"Ben I'll make you a deal," she put her fingers through his messy hair. "Why don't you come over to my place tonight? Six o'clock." In a passionate voice she spoke, "I'll make you so happy you're a man."

He suddenly looked up at her as she placed each hand on sides of his face. "Oh yeah? That sounds interesting."

There was a knock at the door, "Hey you two want breakfast? I'm cooking." Dino tried not to laugh, but it was difficult.

Ben did laugh. "He's not serious is he?" Monica whispered. Ben shook his head indicating no. She figured she'd play along, "Yeah Dino have it ready in five minutes. We'll be right out."

His eyes went wide when he heard that. Is she kidding me he wondered? This is going to be weird to say the least he thought, "Ok." He ran down the hallway and entered the kitchen looking for something to whip up.

She kissed Ben on top of his head, "You come over at six… ok?"

He sighed as she walked to the door. "All right. Bye."

"Bye," she whispered. She quietly walked down the hallway and peaked in the kitchen. Dino was looking in the refrigerator so Monica quickly and carefully dashed to the front door on her toes. She gently opened the door and gently shut it when she left.

Dino desperately searched for something, but the only thing they really had was the pizza he didn't finish last night – about half. "Shit," he said to himself while grimacing. "Why did I say anything? What am I the fucking butler here?"

Ben was already on his computer checking his scheduler and email. "Oh my God," he had totally forgotten. He had made a date with Katie Monday night when she instant messaged him. They agreed on Saturday night – tonight. Well he figured he would just tell her the truth. She wasn't signed on in IM so he decided to email her since he didn't have her phone number. As he typed it out he realized how insensitive it sounded. Basically it said our relationship developing between us was off because he found another girl – and in an email too. After realizing how much he had hurt Monica at the homecoming dance, dumping her in such a blunt and uncaring manner he had become sensitive to these issues. Instead he would tell her in person, and typed in, "Please call me on my cell 555-7777. Ben." He liked Katie and he would love to be friends.

"Yo," Dino knocked on the door, "Ben, Ms. Young?"

Ben laughed and opened the door. "She left dude."

Dino was standing there with his hair messed up still in his shorts and black t-shirt from last night. He was holding the pizza box, "She's gone? Dude I'm making breakfast here; she said five minutes."

"Yeah, yeah," Ben grabbed the box and they both went into the kitchen. They both sat at a butcher block type table with two stools, and quickly began to eat out of the box. Ben leaned over to the fridge and grabbed two beers, and handed one to his friend. Dino watched Ben eat, waiting for him to say something about last night.

As Ben took a sip Dino asked, "So how did your discussion go?"

Ben looked up surprised, "Oh, yeah, it went pretty well. I think we settled a lot."

No shit Dino thought. "So, she spent the night?"

He knew he wanted details. "Uh, yeah, she was tired…"

"Dude I heard you two half the night," he grabbed another piece as he busted his friend.

Ben gave up denying it. He wasn't sure why he was denying it anyway, an old habit as he always seemed to be protecting Monica in some fashion. "Were we that loud?" Dino nodded yes. "Really?"

"So how was it?"

"It was fucking fantastic. Better than I remember."

"Really? What did you guys do?"

Ben cringed at that question. "Dude your sick. I'm not telling you that."

Dino laughed as he chewed, "Ok so why was it better?"

He had to think about that question as he took a sip and continued to chew. "I don't know; it was intense as hell. It was intense before too. Maybe because I hadn't realized how much I really missed her till she came back." Ben began to day dream about last night, how beautiful Monica looked, and how good she felt.

"So I'm guessing you'll be hanging out with Ms. Young tonight?"

"Yeah, I go over to her place at six." Ben searched for another piece inside the pizza box.

Dino took a sip and then spoke, "Well I'm sure that will be fun." They both laughed with their minds in the gutter.

"What about you?"

"Oh I don't know. I have nothing planned. Maybe Jonathan is up for something."

"You know, I actually have a date with Katie tonight."

Dino's eyebrows rose, "Oh yeah? So you're taking her over to Ms. Young's?"

They both laughed at that. "Oh sure, Monica would have no problem with that. She'd freaking kill me." Dino searched for another piece as Ben continued, "No. I've got to tell her it's off. Permanently. It's too bad, she's really nice. I mean hot with a great personality - rare."

"Why don't you hook me up," Dino grinned.

Ben thought about that for a moment. "I can't just end it and then pawn her off onto another guy. That's a little insensitive." Dino had no clue what he was talking about. "I'll put in a good word for you," he tapped his friend on the shoulder as he said it. He upped the rest of his Miller and announced, "I'm taking a shower dude." Now thoroughly satisfied with his meal he belched as he left the table. Dino responded in kind.

Ben was bored this afternoon, especially when all he could think about was Monica. He had finished his home work, played video games with Dino, he even unpacked a bit. While he took a shower he decided he would walk up to Monica's apartment. He didn't want to bother her, but he just couldn't help himself. Her place was only two blocks away a fact he still couldn't believe. If he was lucky she would be home rather than on some errand.

It was noon when he began walking and located the building in about five minutes. It was a big complex in Rager's Row, one the newest in fact. Two story Spanish style structures with the traditional white walls and the red tiled roof. He found Monica's silver Audi parked in front of an apartment, but he wasn't sure if that was her place. He decided to call her on her cell. Monica thought she heard something and turned off the water flowing into the tub. Ben got her voicemail, so he tried again. She heard her phone ring in the family room. She hoped it was Ben as she hadn't been able to think about anything else since their lovemaking. She ran out of the bathroom and down the hall in her sheer red bath robe and bare feet. She heard the phone on her cream colored couch and dove onto it.

It was Ben she could see on the display. She calmed herself down, "Hello my love."

He laughed, "Hey? How are you?"

"Better now."

"Yeah me too," he replied affectionately.

"So why are you calling?"

"I'm outside your building. What number are you in?"

Monica didn't like hearing that and hoped he was joking. She had neighbors and what if they spotted him. Some of the tenets were students and they may recognize him, or her. She stood up, "Please tell me you're kidding?"

"Uh, no, I'm looking at your car right now…"

I'm in 77 in front of the car. Move your ass."

She quickly unlocked the door and opened it a tad. Ben walked in all ready to be welcomed. He shut the door and looked at the nicely decorated room. He saw Monica facing away from him in the middle of the room standing on the beige colored carpet. There was a large television to his left against the wall with audio and video components next to it. Across from the TV was a coffee table with a glass top that she stood next to. Next to the table was the couch she had just been laying on. There was a large graphic art of a traditional Chinese dragon on the wall above the couch. There was a hallway to his right where he figured the bedroom was. Ben could see a round wooden table with four chairs across from him and past Monica. There was a large window behind it with the drapes opened. To the right of the table was the kitchen, but all he could see was the light colored linoleum and an island with a range.

He refocused on Monica and walked up behind her, "I love this robe."

Just as he was about to put his arms around her she turned around. "Ben? What do you think you're doing?"

He could hear the hostility in her voice and took a step back. "What's wrong?"

"Are you trying to get me fired Ben? You can't just come walking around here; what if someone saw you, a student?"

None of those situations had occurred to him. He felt so stupid now as he should have known. "Monica I'm sorry you're right," he desperately explained. "I was just looking so forward to seeing you, that I didn't think. I'm so sorry."

She could see he was genuinely sorry, and he hadn't done this intentionally. He only wanted to see her. Her stern look quickly softened as she admired her lover. "It's all right. I just want it clear that we have to be careful." She walked up to him and put her arms around him. "Even though your parents have backed away, the university takes their policies seriously."

"I know; I'll be more careful." His mother's conditions flashed through his mind.

She looked up at him, "Please don't make me regret getting back together. I just want to be happy. Is that too much to ask?"

"I won't. I promise." He lowered his head to kiss her and she whole heartily accepted him. He couldn't concentrate on the kiss as he thought about making her regret her decision. His parents and his mother's damn conditions.

She noticed something strange about the kiss as they broke away. "Is there something wrong?"

"Uh, no, why?"

She looked at Ben trying to figure him out. "I don't know... something seems different."

"Nope," he let go of her and walked around inspecting the place. "Great setup. I like how you've decorated."

She decided it was her over thinking as usual. "Oh thank you. You've caught me at a bad time though." She stood their feeling bad that she was going to ask him to leave. "I was just going to take a bath. You can see my hair is a mess."

He looked at her and she looked beautiful to him. "A woman's messy hair, especially yours, turns me on."

"How did I know were going to say that," she gave up and walked down the hallway towards the bathroom. "You're a total pervert; you know that right?"

HhhhhH

He followed her as he laughed, "You know I'm kind of dirty myself. I could use a bath."

She laughed as she entered the bathroom, and left the door open just a little. He stood out in the hallway and listened to her slip into the water. "You don't mind locking the door when leave do you?" she grimaced as she asked.

"No. Before I leave though…"

"Yes?"

"I have to tell you something. Oh and one other thing," he said with a happy tone.

"Ok, what?"

"Well you happen to be in a perfect position to fulfill one of my fantasies."

She frowned as she washed her face with a wash cloth. "I don't have time Ben. How about at six as we planned?"

"But it involves a bath tub and a shockingly beautiful girl." She loved the compliment, but she really didn't have the time, so she didn't answer. "I'm pretty sure I have the shockingly beautiful girl, but I'm not sure about the tub. It's not sexual. I won't even have to take off my clothes."

She was intrigued by that statement, and always wanted to know what he was thinking – especially a fantasy. "All right… you can come in." Whoa he thought she was letting him in. He pushed open the door and immediately saw a naked Monica although hidden by the water and bubbles. He wanted to be a gentleman and not make her uncomfortable. He wasn't strong enough though, and the second he saw her nude in the tub, the butter flies in the stomach were in full force. His heart rate increased, and he had to look at the rest of the bathroom to calm down.

It was nice he thought and perfect for her. It was surprisingly large with a big bathtub under a frosted window. To his left was the sink with a large mirror on the wall. The tile on the wall by the tub, and linoleum on the floor were a dull or weathered coral color all with a beach motif; shells, seabirds, waves. Very clean, new looking and fresh. "I was wondering what you're fantasy is Monica?"

"My fantasy? "Ben you haven't even told me yours yet."

"Ok, I know this will sound stupid…"

"Today please," Monica demanded.

He sat on the tub behind her, "I would love to wash your hair."

That's it she thought? It did sound romantic to her, and always looked good in the movies. "All right," she reluctantly agreed.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh, thank you, thank you," he excitedly said.

"I'll get my hair wet…"

"No, no, I'll do that. Can you hand me that soap dish?" He sat down behind her and placed his hand on her flowing hair and stroked it. Monica enjoyed him touching her hair and massaging her scalp. Ben used his other hand to dip into the hot water and poured it over her head as he worked it into her scalp. She closed her eyes the second the hot water trickled down her head, and body. It was quiet except for the water splashing back into the tub. Both were getting very turned on by Ben's fantasy so far. He continued pouring water on her hair till it was thoroughly drenched. This took a few minutes which was good allowing the couple to consider their feelings for each other. "So beautiful," he whispered and she smiled hearing that while enjoying everything he was doing to her. "Can you hand me your shampoo?" Monica reached for it to her right as Ben continued to fondle her scalp.

"Here," she handed the bottle to him behind her.

He looked at the bottle for a second and then popped the cap. He smelled its contents and immediately recognized the fruity fragrance she so often used. He squeezed some in his hand and then began to work it into her scalp. Monica was lost in her bliss as his fingers gently worked her head. She was so relaxed from the massage and the heat of the water she thought she might dose off. She had to focus, "Ben I love your fantasy." She wanted to talk more, but it was so tempting to just clear her mind and relax. He smiled thrilled she was enjoying it as much as he was. A few minutes went by when finally Monica asked, "So what do you feel like doing tonight?"

"Oh I'm sure you can guess."

She immediately thought about last night and how well everything went. She was so relieved Ben wasn't disappointed with her and God knows she wasn't disappointed with him she thought. "Last night was wonderful."

"It was unbelievable," he clarified with enthusiasm.

"Yes, you're right… I just meant you were such a gentlemen. You didn't rush it and made me comfortable. Not all guys are like that."

He was kind of surprised at her statement, but he appreciated it. "Monica? This is probably going to sound lame, but I care for you. I mean making love with you is amazing, but I honestly care about your feelings, and about what happens to you." She wondered if he was about say I love you. She hoped that he wouldn't because it would be too much too fast. Last night was probably too much too fast as well, but she couldn't help herself. Monica had missed him much more than she had originally thought.

She turned around enough to look at him for moment trying to figure out what he was thinking. "I care for you too," she softly said. Ben kept his hand on the back of her soaped up head and lowered his face to connect with her full lips. It was another steamy kiss lasting for at least a dozen seconds before they gently parted. They both looked at each other for a moment with subtle smiles. "That was nice," she tenderly said. "I'm so happy we are a couple again." She could see he wanted more, but she would have to deny him for now. "I'd love to be with you, but I honestly don't have the time." He was disappointed, but he wasn't surprised and understood. "Can you wait till six honey?"

"It won't be easy."

She turned around as he began rinsing her hair with the soap dish. About halfway through he remembered Katie. He figured he better just get it over with. "I've got a small problem," he mentioned. Monica opened her eyes wondering if this was a big problem, and hoping it was a small problem. "I hope you don't get too pissed at me," he asked.

She piled up more suds up near her body. "What Ben?" she raised her voice wishing he would just get on with it.

"Well before we got back together I kind of made a date with someone – for tonight." A flash of jealousy raced through her mind. It soon vanished though as she remembered she had rejected him time after time these past few weeks. How long was he supposed to wait around for her to come to her senses?

She was hoping he brought it up to tell her he was canceling it. "I understand."

"I'm trying to get out of it, but I haven't been able to get a hold of her." He continued to rinse her hair.

"Why don't you just leave your friend a voicemail?"

"I don't have her number just an email. Besides, things were getting… important and I don't want to just end it all in an email."

"How serious was this getting Ben?" Monica began washing her face with a washcloth.

"Well a couple more dates and you might have lost me forever," he said it jokingly.

"You're fast Ben Conner. It doesn't hurt that you're the sexiest man I've ever met - or touched." She smiled to herself after she finished.

That was possibly the nicest thing any girl – women – had said to him. Nice? What a wimpy word he thought. This Goddess on Earth had honored him by giving herself to him last night, "Thank you." Another minute went by before he finished, "Ok your hair is washed." He stood up as she laid back dunking her head under water for a more thorough rinsing. Once she came up, wiped the water from her face and hair he couldn't take his eyes off her. Wet hair, dry hair, make up, no make, it didn't matter she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He marveled at her beautiful shiny skin; dark eyes with long lashes, that lush hair and those sexy lips, how lucky could one man be he thought.

"Ben it's not polite to stare," she playfully said.

He snapped out of his daze, "Oh, sorry."

Monica placed her arms along the edge of the tub while leaning forward. "I think it's time you find something to do besides distracting me."

"You sure? I can wait and help dry you off," he grinned once he finished.

"Goodbye Ben."


	19. Episode 5: Completely Confused 2

Lost Love: Episode 5 Completely Confused, Part 2

It was 5:59pm as Ben walked down the sidewalk admiring the great weather, and the Sun low in the sky. As he approached Monica's apartment he pulled out his cell and hit her number on speed dial. "Ok I'm coming up to your place."

"I'll unlock my door. Please look around and make sure no one is watching you."

"You got it," he hung up and carefully looked around before entering. She was there to greet him wearing sheer dark blue pajamas with snap buttons up the front of the top and just everyday white socks. Ben wore a black long sleeve dress shirt with khaki trousers and dress shoes. Monica realized immediately Ben had dressed up for her thinking this was a more formal meeting. He instantly realized she was dressed down for the night, but pajamas were more than all right with him. They laughed acknowledging their miscommunication with each other while projecting their individual intensions through their dress.

As he shut the door he said, "Monica I'm sorry…"

"No, no you look great; I love it," she happily explained as she put her arms around his neck. She rolled her eyes and explained, "I should be the one apologizing."

"Are you kidding you look amazing."

"Yeah? Thank you," she softly spoke. Neither could take their eyes off the other and finally they kissed. They hugged as well for several seconds allowing Ben to get a deep whiff of her freshly washed hair.

They lost track of time, but Monica finally separated them. She laughed, "Why am I so nervous?" Ben felt it too, but didn't answer. "How about a drink? I'm afraid I don't have any beer. Is wine all right?

"Sure, my parents are totally into wine so I'm use to it." Jesus why did he bring up his parents he thought.

"Great," she excitedly said as she walked into the kitchen. "Oh I've got a bunch of take out menus on the coffee table," she yelled. He saw them and sat down on the couch. He heard the light contemporary music she had on the stereo and admired the large 35 inch television displaying CNN with no sound. He placed his phone and car keys on the table then sifted through the menus. Monica came out with two glasses of white wine and handed one to him. "So what do you feel like?" she asked and sat down on her knees next to him.

Ben joked, "You mean you're not cooking?"

She almost spit out her wine to laugh. "Ben I don't cook; I burn." They both laughed at her statement. He took a sip as Monica spoke up, "I guess it's all those hotel rooms over the years." She quietly laughed to herself as she thought about it.

Ben was confused and asked, "Hotel rooms?"

She froze realizing she had let something out. He sat there holding a menu looking at her waiting for an answer of some kind. She closed her eyes wishing she could take that back. "When I was a kid my mother played a lot of professional poker tournaments." She adjusted her position on the couch sliding a leg across his lap and he placed his hand on her. "I know… it sounds stupid, my mother is a professional poker player. I still don't quite get it myself," she sipped her wine. "So while she played cards I usually stayed in the hotel room ordering room service."

"That sounds… well sad."

"That's because it is Ben," she quietly confirmed.

He turned more towards her, "Can I ask you about your mother?" She really didn't want to talk about her mother; in fact it was the last thing she wanted to talk about.

"After all this time? Ben I'd rather not talk about her. It's a long story anyway."

"Please? I just want to know more about you," he pleaded with her. He definitely wanted to no more after meeting Alice at his parents home. She was a fascinating person just like her daughter.

She smelled the wine in the glass and brushed her hair out of her face realizing she had to tell him something especially since she brought it up. "Ok…"

"Oh goodie," he said almost giddy.

"My mother didn't raise me… she tolerated me. I don't know why we don't get along; I guess we just rub each other the wrong way. I don't think she really wanted children."

"Whatever happened to your father? I've never heard you mention him." He had to find out her side of the story.

She became suspicious when he asked about her father. He hadn't even asked about Alice she thought - until today. "My father?"

"Yeah?"

"There's not much to say. He left when I was very young. Yes I saw him maybe twice a year. A birthday here and there; one Christmas I believe. I was kind of alone."

"So where is he now?"

She hated talking about herself that was part of the reason she was fascinated by literature, so she could always discuss other people. Monica had thought about Ben all afternoon and didn't want to talk about her parents. She looked at him admiring his good looks and just wanted to kiss him. They were already close to each other and she decided to give him the look. He quickly understood her intensions and observed her. She placed her wine glass on the table, and then took his from his hand - all while moving slowly and looking at him seductively. The only time she didn't focus in on his eyes was when she concentrated on placing the glasses down. While they were stares, they were really messages communicating how much she wanted him. "Will you do me a favor Ben?"

"Um, what? Sure."

She moved very close to him with their faces only a few inches away. "Will you kiss me please?" He was relieved that her request was something easily performed as well as something so enjoyable. She was thrilled when their lips met as it had been the only thing Monica could think about during their conversation. The kiss was long and soft with their pulses increasing as well as their breathing. She moved onto his lap and she put her hands around his neck fully enjoying his rough skin. Both moved their heads from side to side with their wet lips smothering each other. The passionate foreplay continued to heat up for several minutes as they changed positions every few moments Finally with Ben on top of Monica as they both laid on her couch she stopped him. "Ben?"

He didn't answer at first to catch his breath. "Yeah."

"It's too hot on the couch. Can we move?"

"Anything you want; is the floor all right?" he asked while breathing hard.

"Yes," she answered. He moved swiftly to the center of the room on the carpet. Monica got up and after turning the stereo up she laid on top of him.

"Oh yes, you feel so good," he whispered. She connected her lips to his aggressively pulling on his lower lip with hers. She then began unbuttoning his shirt watching his reaction the whole time. She flung open the shirt and couldn't resist placing her hands on him. Monica felt every inch and contour of his chest, shoulders, and neck with her hands, lips, and her tongue.

Ben loved every second of it with closed eyes as he rubbed his hands over her thighs. After several minutes Monica had to sit up and rest a moment. Ben quickly sat up and began popping the snaps on her dark blue pajama top. She sifted her fingers up through her hair and realized she was as excited as last night while watching him unbutton her shirt. Finally when Ben got her shirt open he could see she had dressed up for him. This time she was wearing a lacey black push up bra. He stopped a moment to admire the view.

"What do you think," she softly asked.

"You're so beautiful Monica."

"I just got it today for you."

He looked up at her, "Really?"

"Yes."

"I've always heard it's the thought that counts." She grinned agreeing with his comment. With some apprehension he admitted, "I don't know how to thank you."

"Oh yes you do. Wait till you see the rest of it," she giggled as he grinned. She moved forward to kiss him. He placed his hand on her breast and felt the soft material of the bra. Once their lips parted he moved to place his lips on the exposed part of her breast and gently kissed her soft flesh. He began to work his lips and his tongue into her skin. "Oh Ben how did you get so good at this?"

He looked up, "Fantasying about you all the time."

"Good answer."

"You know, Monica as much as love you in this bra. I'd love you out of it even more."

"Well I think we can accommodate you." He helped her off with her pajama top. Monica with a huge smile began slipping down one bra strap and then the other all in a playful striptease. They both froze when Ben's cell phone rang on the coffee table. "Just ignore it honey."

He so much wanted to ignore it, but it was possibly Katie. She had never called him today, and was actually a little worried. She seemed so excited about the date the other night and it was strange she wouldn't even call. He made a frown at Monica's request.

"What?" she asked disappointed.

"Remember it might be my date."

"Oh, yes, your other girlfriend," she used her Ms. Young voice as she said it.

"Monica c'mon let me just check." He grabbed the phone and did not recognize the number. "It will only take a second; I promise. Hello?"

"Ben? Hi it's Katie."

Shit he thought to himself. All day long and she calls now; just as Monica is sitting on top of him stripping. "Hi Katie how are you doing?" he said in a fake upbeat voice. Monica rolled her eyes and slipped her bra straps back on. She decided she wasn't going to make it easy for him. She pushed him down on the floor and began kissing his neck. He couldn't help but let out a laugh as she tickled him.

"Ben I apologize for not getting in touch sooner. I had an accident and this is the first chance I've had to call."

"Are you all right?" he knew something was wrong.

"I'm ok, but I'm in the hospital," Katie explained.

"Hospital," he asked surprised. Monica sat up and mouthed "hospital" questioning what was going on. "What happened?" he asked. Monica looked at the table next to the kitchen as her cell phone rang. She didn't want to really get it, but Ben was busy so she might as well. She rolled off of Ben and crawled over to pick up the phone.

"I was at tennis practice and lunged for a ball. It was bad luck really; I really tore up my knee. The doctor says I might need surgery," her voice got a bit emotional at the end.

"God I'm so sorry Katie."

Monica rolled her eyes again when she heard Ben consoling his friend. She looked at her phone and saw it was Jesse. That put a smile on her face as they usually talked at least once a day. "Hey what's going on Jes?"

"Monica you've got a problem," she declared in a serious tone.

Monica's face turned from happy to worried, "Excuse me?"

"Friday afternoon about an hour after you left?"

"Yeah?"

"Andrew showed up at the office."

She was shocked to hear that and sat down at the table. "You're kidding me; what did he want?"

"Well you of course babe."

"Well what did you tell him Jes?"

"I was being a smart ass and said you were on a hot lunch date," she laughed after she said it.

Monica laughed too. "Jesse why are you so mean?"

"Because he treated my best friend badly, and I'm going to make the son-of-bitch pay. I think I went overboard though."

"Why? Oh God what did you do?"

"I'm not sure. We had a long 20 minute conversation and he cracked up. He cried a bit."

"Really? Jesse please tell me you're not teasing me?" she pleaded.

"Monica I know I like to give you a hard time. You remind me of my younger sister and I simply loved torturing her. You know in that sisterly way." Monica didn't have any siblings and was so happy to have Jesse in her life. She also thought about Jesse losing her younger sister Abby last year in a car accident. It might be why they bonded so quickly. "I'd never joke about something like this," Jesse explained. "Monica I'm coming over in 20 minutes. I have to tell you everything," she excitedly explained. "I'm bringing my lasagna."

She looked at Ben and wondered how she was going to convince Jesse not to come over. At the same time she desperately wanted to find out what Andrew had said. Andy really wanted her back after the fiasco at the restaurant.

"Ben?"

"I'm here Katie?"

"I'd still like to have our date tonight if you don't mind a hospital bed." It just kept getting worse he thought. There was no way he could end it all with Katie sitting in a hospital bed – especially over the phone.

Monica was simply going to kill him he decided and he would settle it later. "Ok. Where are you Katie?"

"I don't know Jes. I'm not sure I want to hear about Andrew just now."

"Are you kidding me Monica? This is unbelievable news. The schmuck wants you back." Monica could see Ben wanted to say something to her. "Hang on a second," she hit the mute button. She could tell from his guilty expression it wasn't good news. "What Ben?"

"She really busted up her knee and wants me to come down to visit her at the hospital. I said I would." He grimaced the whole time he was explaining. She didn't say anything at first and he was waiting for her to freak out, but she didn't.

Normally Monica would have been pissed off by this development, but it was perfect she thought. She was never going to get Jesse to back down right now. She walked up to him both still with their shirts off. "I guess that explains why she hasn't called you earlier. Well I'm not happy about this, but you're a good friend, and I understand."

"You do?"

"Don't act so surprised. Besides Jesse is having man trouble," she pointed to the phone. "I'm going to have her come over and talk."

"Oh ok," perfect he thought. Unfortunately even if he wrapped things up quickly Professor Moreau totally destroyed their night together.

"Can I get a kiss before you go," she asked softly as he put his shirt on.

"You don't even have to ask babe." He quickly grabbed her as she jumped up on him wrapping her legs around his waist, and her hands around his neck. They made the kiss a long one knowing this was it for the night. When they did finally part lips Ben asked, "Tomorrow night?"

Monica batted her eyes, "Of course; call me." He left waving to her as he went out the door. She was sad as she had been looking forward to this evening. She remembered her friend on hold. "Ok Jes. Come on over." Jesse hung up immediately. She didn't want to give Monica a chance to bail out.


	20. Episode 5: Completely Confused 3

Lost Love: Episode 5 Completely Confused Part 3

It took Ben about 30 minutes to get to the hospital since Katie requested he pick up some food for her on his way. It took another 15 minutes trying to find her room. It didn't help he started off in the wrong building at the large complex. "Room 717; finally," he pushed the door slightly while knocking.

"Yes?"

"Katie?"

"Hi Ben come on in," she instructed happily.

He immediately saw her lying in a hospital bed with the recliner all the way up. Katie was wearing a black sweat suit with white trim. She had her leg elevated with a brace on it to keep it immobilized. There were also cold packs strapped to her knee. "You're such an angel."

"I don't know about that." He walked past the end of the bed around to her left side as she had a hospital tray on the other. He looked around the light blue painted room with all of its monitoring equipment flashing numbers and other information he didn't understand. "Here you go," he pointed to the Wendy's bag, and then handed it to her.

"Oh thank you Ben," she turned the television down and began empting the bag onto the tray. "I am starved." He moved a chair closer to the bed and sat down. He watched her pullout the triple cheese with bacon, large fries, and a Frosty. The blue eyed blond looked great as usual despite her injury, and she seemed upbeat too. He quietly laughed. "What?" she asked with surprise.

"Oh nothing. I'll be surprised if you eat all that."

"I probably won't. You didn't get anything for yourself?" she asked a bit disappointed. "I thought we could have dinner together."

"Oh. Well I did, but I kind of ate on the way." He felt bad about that, "Sorry."

"No problem. If you want any…"

"No, no, you enjoy yourself." He watched her eat for a moment. "So how long have you been here?"

She finished chewing before she answered, and wiped her mouth. "I've only been in the room about an hour, but I've been at the hospital pretty much all day."

"What are they saying?"

"Unfortunately very little; I'm waiting for the doctor now. I had an MRI about an hour ago. They said I might have to stay the night." She ate several fries at once. "I'm sorry I ruined everything."

"Oh don't apologize it's not your fault."

"I was just looking so forward to getting to know you. You seem like such a nice guy," she smiled and continued eating.

"Well thank you," he bashfully responded to her compliment.

"You didn't dress up for me did you?" Rather than complicate things he just answered yes. "That's so nice of you, but you didn't have to."

How the hell was he going to tell her this was probably their last meeting they would have. He hated having to disappoint her, but there was no alternative. Monica had given him a second chance and he couldn't be happier. Ben looked around and thought he might see some flowers, or balloons, maybe some friends around. "Any of your friends come by?"

Her expression turned from a happy one to a sad one as she ate. Ben wondered what the sudden change was all about. "Did I say something…"

"It's all right Ben. I know we don't really know each other very well," her voice became emotional.

"Yeah?" He was wondering what was coming as her eyes welled up a little.

"I'm a little embarrassed to tell you; it's so stupid." She sighed looking at him, "I've never been very good at making friends," she explained sadly.

Ben was confused she seemed so nice. "Well you're a freshman and you've only been here a few weeks. Give it sometime."

"No you don't understand. Girls don't like me for some reason. In high school I was… well I was pretty much alone."

"What about your teammates?"

"Most are just acquaintances nothing outside sports." Ben felt bad once he saw a tear roll down her cheek. He quickly got up and sat next to her on the bed. He figured she was just a little freaked out with the injury and the possibility of surgery. Who wouldn't be a little overwhelmed?

"I don't get it. You seem so nice to me and funny too."

"Thanks I like to think I am too, but I'm doing something wrong." Ben handed her a tissue from the night stand. She sniffled a little before she spoke, "A girl on my high school softball team told me she didn't want to hang out with me because she was afraid her boyfriend would dump her for me."

"Well there you go I can see that happening. You're gorgeous.  
So what about the guys?" he enthusiastically asked.

She smiled and wiped her cheek. "Same story basically. I went to one dance in high school and it wasn't my senior prom."

"I don't get it," he responded in disbelief.

"Maybe I intimidate guys, or they think I'd never go out with them. One guy told me that." She took a spoonful of the Frosty.

"I'd ask you out in a heart beat." He regretted saying that as he just dug the hole he was in even deeper.

"Really?" She sniffled after asking. "When I first met you in English? I was a little cold towards you because of your initial reaction. Do you remember?"

"Yes. I was an idiot, and froze when you asked about the seat next to me."

"Yes. I immediately thought you didn't like me from just that exchange. I know that isn't true now, but at the time…" She paused to compose herself, "After I gave you my email, you suddenly leave the class."

"I had to change my schedule something came up." He remembered that day very well. The day he saw Monica after four years of her missing from his life, and he panicked running out of the hall before she spotted him. "Well now you know it wasn't you." Ben knew he wasn't going to be able to tell Katie tonight that they couldn't see each other because he found someone else. She seemed so damn fragile right now. "Well have your parents come by?" Katie began to cry again. Oh c'mon Ben thought to himself. What now? She grabbed his hand and squeezed as she continued to cry. "I'm sorry Katie I didn't mean to…" he didn't finish his sentence he just moved closer to hold her and comfort her. A nurse looked in to warn Ben that visiting hours were soon ending. She could see that the couple was in a serious discussion, and decided not to interrupt.

"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known… they died when I was 15. They were on vacation in Morocco when there tour bus was in an accident."

He almost didn't want ask for fear of making things worse - but he did. "Do you have any one?"

She looked up at him sadly, "Yes. My grandmother. Unfortunately she has been ill this last year and I've been helping her out as best I can. I'm not sure what to do now I've been stretched so thin lately with school, work, and my grandmother. I don't know if my scholarship is in jeopardy with this injury."

She began to cry again as everything began to overwhelmed her. Ben held her again to calm her down. He put his hand on the back of her head and began to gently touch her blond wavy hair. "Shish it will be ok."

"What am I going to do Ben?" she asked as she sobbed with her head resting on his shoulder.

"It will be ok. I promise." He consoled her till she got it all out. She had wanted to cry many times before this, but stayed strong with all her responsibilities while she tried to ignore her loneliness. With all this the injury and the doubts about her scholarship it was just too much. Katie cried for a few minutes while he gently rocked her similar to how he had comforted Monica many times.

When she did stop he handed her a fresh tissue. "I feel like an idiot crying like this."

"Don't put yourself down Katie. I think you're going through a lot. I had no idea how unhappy you are." He thought about his mother and her depression she dealt with this last year. "I think a good start is getting this all out."

She smiled "I think you're right I feel better already. Thank you Ben." She wanted to thank him in a more personal way and moved her head off his shoulder and connected her lips to his. He was taken totally by surprise, but responded to her warm lips. It was only a short moment while they were connected when Monica flashed through his mind. He swiftly stopped the kiss by pulling away. Katie was confused as it seemed Ben was enjoying the kiss even if it was for just a moment. The next second he thought about Katie being rejected by him as he looked at her disappointed expression.

"Katie it's not you," he desperately tried to explain.

"It's all right. That was unfair of me. I shouldn't assume things."

"It's not you." He almost mentioned Monica, but he didn't want to hurt her – not now. "I don't want to take advantage of you."

"You're not."

"I know, but you're dealing with a lot right now and well…"

She looked at him lovingly, "How did I get so lucky to find such a caring guy?"

Oh man this hole was getting even deeper he thought. Waiting to tell her may even make things worse. This was insane. He had to throw some cold water on the situation now. He pulled his hand from hers, "Listen when I came in they told me visiting hours were ending soon."

"Oh," she said quietly not really happy with that.

"Before I go," he stood up, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Actually yes, if you don't mind," she asked sheepishly.

"No not at all," he was so happy the subject had changed. This was the first moment he realized is heart beat had increased. This had affected him more than he had thought. It was hard not to have an emotional connection with the blond beauty after this conversation. It didn't help that he had lustful thoughts of her even before today and the kiss. While the kiss was short it was good and memorable he noted.

"If I do stay the night? Could you pick up some things at my grandmother's, and bring them in the morning. I'll call you on your cell."

"Yes. I can do that."

"Thank you so much." Neither knew what to say next as they stared at each other. She felt so much better someone was here to help her. His caring for her made Katie even more attracted to him.

"Ok, then." He could see she wanted him to touch her hand or kiss her – something to say goodbye. He finally moved towards her and kissed her on the forehead. "It will be ok."

Monica sat on her couch flipping through the TV channels not really watching. All she could think about was Andrew. What was she going to do now that she committed herself to Ben? The stress was already beginning to weigh down on her. Like she told Ben just last night, out on his balcony, the feelings she had for Andrew were still there, and rather strong. Her thoughts were interrupted when there was a loud knock at the door. She jumped up and unlocked the door letting Jesse enter.

"Hey hun. Brought the food." Jesse continued walking into the kitchen as Monica shut the door and then followed her friend. She had her hair in one large center braid and wore a white Seahawks crewneck sweat shirt. Her white sweat pants displayed NAVY in large blue letters down one leg finished off with white tennis shoes. She placed down her pan of lasagna on the counter. She shook a brown paper bag, "I brought bread too."

"Hey you look cute," Monica said. "I love your hair."

"Oh thanks. I just wanted it out of my face." Jesse suddenly noticed Monica in her dark blue pajamas. "You didn't have to dress up for me." She looked over the oven and turned it to the proper temperature.

"Oh this? I washed my hair and just wanted to feel…"

"Sexy," Jesse playfully asked. They both laughed at that stupid comment. She exhaled, "Well how about some wine?"

"Of course," Monica began to pull out the glasses.

"So how are you doing honey?" Jesse asked with concern.

"Ok. I guess," she looked through her limited wine collection.

"Aren't you a little freaked Monica?"

"Yes. I'm trying to keep it together though." She began uncorking the selection she made. Monica poured the red liquid into a glass and handed it to her best friend. "So are you going to tell me what happened Jes?"

"Yes, yes," she took a quick sip as she looked over the oven. "I had finished reading my students' essays and was dancing around the office listening to my MP3 player. All of the sudden I saw Andrew at the door."

Jesse quickly yanked the earbud headphones out, shocked someone was standing at the door. "Andrew? What do you want?"

He laughed a little sensing she felt dumb being caught off guard. "Well I'm looking for Monica. Any idea where she is?"

She looked at him admiring his business suit attire. "I didn't know the IT guys wore suits?" She began to make herself some instant coffee.

"A group of Japanese came through to check out the university network."

"Oh." She sat at her desk with her coffee mug. She could see he was still waiting for an answer. She wanted to slap that smile off his face and was going too make him sweat a bit. "Monica is on a hot lunch date," she tried not to laugh.

Andrew didn't expect that answer. Why would Monica go out with another guy? He sat down in the chair in front of Monica's desk. Jesse could see from the look on his face that hurt. Good, mission accomplished she thought. "Date?"

"Yeah, good looking guy too."

"I don't understand why would she do that?"

"You're kidding right?" She couldn't believe he asked that question. "Because you dumped her," she declared then took a sip of coffee.

Confused he asked, "What are you taking about?"

"A couple of weeks ago you dropped her at some restaurant. What did you expect her to do? Wait around day dreaming about you?"

"Wait, wait," he said annoyed as he stood and shaking his head. "I never broke off our relationship. I just asked for some time, some space to think things over."

She was confused now because Monica had made it sound much more than that. "What do have to think about?"

Monica interrupted Jesse's story fearful Andrew told her about Ben. She trusted her friend not to say anything, but she would never forgive herself if Jesse got into trouble hiding her secret. She was embarrassed about the whole thing as well. She nervously asked, "Did he say what he had to think over."

After she put the lasagna in the oven they both walked to the circular table and sat. "It's funny you ask that. He was about to tell me, but then he didn't. In fact you never told me what the argument was about." Monica just sat there knowing she couldn't tell her the truth. She just sipped her wine and stayed quiet. "Well?"

She looked up from her gaze, "Uh, yeah, it was just stuff about our futures."

"What? Marriage?"

"No, just career stuff," Monica lied to her friend.

"That's it?"

"Yeah," Monica was getting annoyed with the questioning.

Jesse suspected there was more, but Monica wasn't going to tell. "So I just decided to ask him."

"Andrew? Do you want her back?"

"I didn't know I lost her, but yes." He had a look of pain on his face as he finished.

"Andrew, Monica is like a sister to me. I want to know if you're going to break her heart again.

"No, no, of course not." She sat there wondering how Monica could have misunderstood so badly. Maybe Andrew hadn't been clear enough. Maybe she wanted the relationship ended, but why wouldn't she just say that? "I think I'm in love with her Jesse."

Monica interrupted the story, "Please tell me you're kidding?"

"No. Why," she took a sip after she asked. "I was totally speechless when he said it. Isn't this good? Hell this is great Monica. Is it?"

"No, no, it isn't." She got up and walked around the room with a hand on her head. How could he possibly be in love with her now? She tried to think back at the restaurant the night they ran into the Conner's. The argument out front between her and Andrew after he found out about her past with Ben. She couldn't really remember what was said as it was kind of a blur now. Maybe she did misunderstand what he had said.

Confused by Monica's odd reaction she asked, "Why is this not good honey?"

"Oh, it just isn't." She was still in a daze as she thought over everything. Ben flashed through her mind. She couldn't say she was in love with either man, but she had strong feelings for both.

"Ok Monica you're acting weird and I just know there is more going on than what you're telling me. Spill it."

She wondered if she should just tell Jesse about Ben and get it over with. She would have to tell her about him sometime. Monica wasn't ready, but she had to tell her friend something. "I met another guy," she just blurted it out.

Jesse was stunned and a little hurt her friend hadn't told her. "When did this happen?"

"We've known each other for awhile..."

"An ex-boyfriend?" Jesse excitedly asked. Monica sat down in the chair next to her friend at the table. She put her hand on Monica's knee, "C'mon tell me."

"Yeah you could say that he is an ex-boyfriend."

"So what's his name?"

Monica had to answer, but couldn't say Ben. Jesse met him in their office she even commented on how good looking he was. Monica remembered Jesse had even stated to her that he had a crush on her. She took a sip of wine to not appear like she was stalling. Desperately thinking of a name she finally said, "Ken."

"Monica why didn't you tell me? Is he hot?" Jesse jumped around in her seat happy for her friend.

Monica thought about Ben and couldn't help but smile as she thought about his good looks. "Yes, he's very hansom."

"Well give me some details… something, anything," she demanded.

"Uh, he's tall light colored hair brown eyes…"

"Please tell me he's built," Jesse was getting excited as she imagined him.

"Well, yes he does workout, and he's almost an expert, or something in karate."

"Really? I'm impressed. So when? How? Why didn't you say something?" She went to the kitchen to check on the oven.

Monica was thankful to talk to someone about this in some fashion, and accidentally let her guard down. "I wasn't sure how serious it was till last night." Part of her regretted it the second it came out while the other part was relieved.

Jesse came back with the wine bottle and asked, "Last night? So that's why you left the college early yesterday?"

"Yes I met him for dinner."

"And?" she looked at her friend with excited eyes. "Oh c'mon; with both know I have no sex life. You've got to tell me," she whined.

Monica raised her glass so Jesse could pour. "Ok… I spent the night at his place," she put her hand over her mouth with a guilty, but giddy expression.

"You slut!" Jesse sat down and poured herself more of the red as they both laughed. "So you did it?" Monica nodded yes and raised three fingers. "Oh my God… you really are a slut," she declared jokingly. She was in a daze as she thought about what her best friend told her. "Wow. So how was…"

"Completely amazing," she answered quickly with enthusiasm. "He knew exactly what I wanted," she reminisced about their lovemaking and expressed it with a large smile. Jesse started to cry and put her wine glass down. "Jes, darling, what's going on here," Monica tried to console her.

"I don't know if I'm happy for you or depressed for myself – maybe both." Monica placed her hand on her friend's shoulder. "It's unbelievable you've got two guys after you and I…" She couldn't finish and Monica ran to get a tissue.

"Jesse turn around," she complied with Monica's command.

"Monica I'm sorry… you're beautiful and deserve to have multiple men after you." She was trying to apologize for acting so surprised two men wanted her friend.

Monica sat down and began wiping Jesse's cheek. "Honey you're beautiful and there are a ton of guys out there who would kill to get your number." Monica wasn't just placating her friend. She honestly believed her friend was beautiful since they looked so similar to each other, and often being mistaken for sisters.

"So where the hell are they Monica," she took the tissue and blotted her eye. Monica didn't really have an answer and sat there. Jesse began to laugh, "Ah, you know what happened the other day in class?"

"What? Please tell me this is a funny story," Monica begged.

"Its more like pathetic. A student, after class mind you, asked me out. Said I totally turned him on," she continued to chuckle to herself.

"Oh my God, what did you do?" Monica had to hear this story as she felt happy for her friend. Everybody loves to hear they are attractive. She wanted to hear how she handled the student. It would hopefully let her know what her reaction to Ben would be. "That doesn't sound pathetic that sounds… well nice."

"The pathetic part is I almost said yes," they both laughed at her statement. Jesse sniffled, "I can't believe I lost it so easily." She stood and spoke, "Let's get the food. I'm starved," they walked into the kitchen.

Monica had to know more of what she thought about dating a student. Her best friend had met Ben in their office a few weeks ago and said she'd go for it for him. That was probably just talk though. "So you turned him down?"

She laughed at Monica's question, "Well yeah I'll get fired, and rightly so."

That didn't sound good she thought. "Jes you said the other day, in the office, that you would risk that situation."

She thought about that as she cut the bread. "Oh yeah, the guy that had a total crush on you. Whatever happened to him? What was his name? Did he ever hit on you?"

Monica got nervous since her friend actually remembered that afternoon. Yes it was only about three weeks ago, but they've had many students through there since then. "I, I don't remember his name. No he never said a word to me." One more lie she would have to keep track of.

Jesse continued to cut the French bread, "Well Monica what would you have done if that student asked you out?" She sipped on her wine thinking over that question, but her hesitation was answer enough for her friend. Jesse walked over to the oven and pulled out the lasagna. "So you would risk your career?"

"What if I thought I was in love with this student?"

"How'd it get that far," she asked with a voice of surprise.

"Jes just answer please," she begged.

"What's going on Monica? I know there's more you're not telling me. You know you can trust me. I promise I won't judge you honey. Monica wanted to tell her, but she couldn't. She hadn't even told her about her time at Woodrow Wilson. Her best friend, sister almost, didn't know she had been a high school English teacher. Monica never told people about it because there were always questions of some kind, and she didn't want to get near it.

"Ok, forget it, I wouldn't get involved," she answered a bit annoyed.

Jesse cut into the lasagna, "I'm glad you came to your senses. You were scaring me for a moment." If her friend, who was fairly loose about rules, thought it was nuts maybe she had made a huge mistake getting back together with Ben. Stop it she thought, you're over thinking things again. Last night was unforgettable and that can't be wrong. They were silent as they put the meal together on plates. Finally Jesse asked, "Do you want to hear how I made Andrew cry?"

Monica smiled with a little guilt, "Ok."

Both sat at the dinner table prepared to eat and drink. "Ok after awhile he asked about your hot lunch date."

"Jesse why would Monica go out with another guy so fast?" Andrew was getting angrier the more he thought about it. She almost told him it wasn't true even though Monica was looking for Ben at his apartment. A fact Jesse was unaware of as well. She couldn't resist though she had too much fun sticking it in Andrew's side just a bit longer.

"She's a beautiful woman with needs. She can't wait for you to get your shit together."

"I told you I just asked for sometime to think when did that become a crime?" He walked around the office loosening his tie.

"You act like she asked you to marry her, or she was pregnant with your kid." She upped the rest of her coffee when she stopped speaking. He stood there thinking if you only knew what the situation had really been that night. He truly missed Monica and began to think he had totally screwed things up now. He remembered this was the first woman he had thought about having a future with. He thought he would probably always be a bachelor, but after only a few weeks with Monica that had totally changed for him. She was so exciting to him and the romance, while short, had been very intense. Exposing her secret and derailing her life probably wasn't the way to go, so he decided to shut up about it. "You should have seen the two when they left here. They were both beaming, and Monica couldn't stop giggling. It was ridiculous how happy they were Andrew."

"So fast," he said in a defeated tone while in a daze.

She could see this was cutting deeply and wondered if she could be this evil. She went in for the death blow. "Andrew I'm sure you'll find someone else tomorrow, hell maybe today if you get going on it."

"Damn it Jesse," he yelled slamming his fist on her desk. "Enough!" His voice had become emotional. He slumped down in Monica's chair in front of Jesse's desk. She realized she went too far with her torture once she witnessed his eyes become glossy as water pooled in them. Facing her he looked down while leaning on her desk. Embarrassed he spoke quietly, "I never wanted to lose her." He composed himself and looked up, "I know this sounds corny, but I was going to ask her to meet my mother. I haven't done that with a girlfriend in ten years."

Monica had to interrupt, "Jesse he actually said that?"

"I swear to God." She took a bite of her lasagna while Monica stared into her wine glass thinking about what had been said. "He's right, it was corny, but I almost cried myself."

"You did tell him the truth right?" Monica took a bite of bread riveted to the story.

"Yes."

"What did he do?"

"What else could he do? He called me a bitch and stormed out of there." Monica sat there dumb founded by the whole thing. "So what are you thinking? Hell, what are going to do Monica?"

It was surprising how quickly her emotions over took her. Jesse could see her friend was about to cry and grabbed a tissue for her. "Thank you."

Why are you crying," Jesse caringly asked.

"I have no idea what to do."

"At the very least you have to talk to Andrew," she poured Monica some wine. Monica blotted her eyes nodding in agreement. "I just realized, I told Andrew there was no hot lunch date, but there is this Ken guy. Boy he's going to hate me more than he already does once he finds out."

Monica pulled it together and said, "Give me the phone."

"Seriously?" Jesse was surprised she was going for it so soon.

Monica took the phone and got down on the floor by the coffee table. She was on her knees as she placed her wineglass on the table. She dialed up Andrew and desperately hoped his machine or voicemail would pick up. Jesse quickly poured herself more and sat next to her friend. She was so excited to hear the fireworks start and desperately hoped Andrew picked up. This reminded her of those Friday night high school sleepovers where the girls giggled about boys and talked to them on the phone all night. This was serious though she watched Monica nervously wait as the phone rang.

"Hello?" She didn't answer. "Hello?"

"Andrew," she weakly said.

"Monica? Oh God you don't know how good it is to hear your voice. I've missed you," she didn't respond. "I'm so glad you called. You must have talked to Jesse?"

"Yes she told me everything." She focused her eyes on Jesse when she answered and her friend smiled at her.

He was a little embarrassed how that conversation went, but he meant what he said. "Do you understand I never broke off our relationship? I was shocked by your past and needed sometime to think things over – some space."

"Yes. I apologize for that misunderstanding." Jesse shook her head indicating no as she mouthed the word 'no'. Monica rolled her eyes as she pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Do you mind if I ask how everything worked out with the Conner's?"

"Oh no not at all. They backed off. Everything's ok." Jesse mouthed the word 'what' trying to follow the conversation.

"Oh I'm so happy for you. I was careful not to let Jesse know anything about that situation."

"Thank you."

Neither spoke for a moment. "Monica?" he quietly asked.

"Yes?"

"What I told Jesse… that I thought I was in love with you."

"Yes she said you were in love with me. Is that true?" Jesse pretended to scream with no noise as she raised her hands in the air letting Monica know that was an excellent question.

Andrew didn't answer immediately and she got worried as she pushed her hair behind her ear on the other side. "I know we haven't known each other very long, but I do care for you, and I want to be completely honest with you. I don't want to rush anything and just give you an answer you want to hear." He sighed while he thought for a moment, "I'm not sure if I'm in love with you," Monica's eyes watered up. "I know something is going on and I hope you'll give me a chance to make it up to you. I pray, I pray to God that you give me a second chance to fall in love with you." She couldn't say she was in love either, but agreed there was something there. Tears came down her face and Jesse grabbed a tissue for her.

She could barely get the words out, "It's so complicated."

He countered quickly, "No. No it isn't Monica. This can happen if you just let it." He could hear her quiet weeping and he hated making her cry. At least he knew she was taking this very seriously and felt it was important. With frustration in his voice, "Monica we can't do this over the phone, it's too important. Can I meet you tonight… "

"No. No I'm not ready for that," she said desperately as she tried to compose herself and sniffled.

"Lunch tomorrow?"

"No Andrew," she continued to sniffle as she calmed down. "Would it be all right if you gave me a few days to think this over?" Jesse took Monica's hand and stroked the back of her head to comfort her.

He realized the least he could do was give her sometime to think. "Yes. Of course."

"I promise I'll call you and talk to you face to face."

"I'd appreciate that."

"Goodbye Andrew," she hung up. It was only a few seconds before she began crying and quickly lost it. She just finally let it all out with tears rolling down her face. "I don't know what to do Jesse. I don't know...," she couldn't finish her sentence. Jesse held her friend while she cried.


	21. Episode 5: Completely Confused 4

Lost Love: Episode 5 Completely Confused

.

Ben walked into Monica's seventh floor office, and was thrilled to find her sitting at her desk. He hadn't seen or talked to her since he left her apartment Saturday night. She ignored him in this afternoon's class as well and he wanted to know what was going on. He silently stood at the entrance admiring his total obsession as she corrected papers. He cleared his throat to notify her of his presence. She was startled and looked up. "Oh, Ben it's you," she tried not to smile, but it was impossible.

He looked left and right down the hallway to make sure no one was around. He still played the act, "Hello Professor Young."

She found him charming when he tried to protect her. "Mr. Conner can I help you?"

He swiftly sat down at the chair in front of her desk. "Are you kidding? There are a million things you can help me with." They both laughed aware of the other's thoughts. They gazed at each other for almost a full minute. It was only interrupted when Jesse walked in with her lunch. She could see what they were doing before they could divert their attention.

She recognized Ben from the last time he was here. The couple looked guilty and nervous about something. "Hello. I'm sorry I don't remember your name," she put her hand out to shake. Ben froze as he was still surprised by the two women's resemblance to each other. Jesse didn't dress nearly as professionally as Monica in fact she looked ready for the beach today. Her hair was down and a little messy. She wore a form fitting red blouse with white Capri pants. She had on black shoes with thick soles to give her a couple inches in height. Monica pretended to work on her papers praying Jesse wouldn't ask too many questions.

"Uh, it's Ben," he shook her hand.

She knew something was going on when she heard his name. Heading for her desk, "B, E, N," she wondered out loud. "Boy that's one hell of a coincidence?" No one answered. Ben looked at Monica hoping for some guidance, but she just mouthed 'quiet'. "What do you think Professor Young?"

Monica spun around in her chair, and with a big fake grin she answered, "What do you mean Professor Moreau?"

"Your new boyfriend?" That definitely peaked Ben's interest as he raised his eyebrows. Boyfriend he wondered, what the hell had Monica been telling her. "K, E, N. What are the chances of that?"

"Oh yes," she spun around to her desk and looked at Ben panicked. "My new boyfriend, Ken. Well they're both popular names I suppose." She just closed her eyes once she finished speaking and prayed Jesse would back off.

"So Ben?" Jesse questioned passing by him, "I'm always interested in campus life. Do you have a girlfriend?"

Monica was hoping he could pull this off. Just say NO Ben. He panicked, "Yes I do."

"Really? A recent coupling?" Shut up Ben, just shut up, Monica thought to herself.

"Yes," Ben answered.

Jesse slowed, leaning in against Monica's desk, "Uh, her name. It wouldn't be something like Veronica, would it?" She observed Monica who in return glared at her colleague. For a second the view had Ben aroused, but the seriousness of the discussion ruined that.

"Enough," Monica blurted out. "Professor Moreau? Perhaps you should cut back on the soap-opera worship?"

Jesse rolled her eyes then focused on Ben expecting an answer. "Uh, no, her name is Katie." She was surprised at that answer as she thought for sure she was on to something. "She's a freshmen here, tennis team, swim team. Unfortunately she injured herself recently." Jesse studied him carefully. Nervously he continued, "I was with her at the hospital Saturday night."

Monica couldn't believe how good an answer he gave even if it was true. Jesse just stared, surprised how detailed the answer was. He couldn't have made all that up so quick. She wished Monica would just tell her what was going on. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, and with a sudden beaming smile, "Hope she feels better soon. I'm in rush; just needed my keys."

"Hot date Professor Moreau?"

Jesse stopped, "Indeed Professor. How did you know?"

"Oh, the scent of easy was in the air," Monica grinned as she delivered the jab.

Jesse's eyebrows went up impressed with her friend's dig. She playfully flipped her off, "I'll see you tomorrow Monica."

Ben sat there for a moment processing what he just witnessed. Monica was used to Jesse's antics, but it was clear she was getting closer to discovering their secret. He finally stood and laughed. "My God she knows." He turned to look at her. "Monica? Don't you think we have a problem?"

"She doesn't know."

"Ben, Ken… Monica, Veronica? Of course she does," he said exasperated.

"Please keep your voice down." She paused a moment, "Even if she does know I can trust her not to say anything."

He couldn't believe how relaxed she was, "So you're ok with this?" He sat back down with a puzzled expression.

She started marking papers, "I'll talk to her; we'll be all right."

He continued to watch her from his chair admiring that beautiful face and that tight body inside that white blouse. She realized he had been quiet for a few minutes and looked up. "What?"

"Only five minutes left for office hours," he grinned as he spoke.

"And?"

"Well I was hoping you would spend the rest of the day with me. Tonight as well."

"I don't know Ben," she grimaced.

"Why have you been ignoring me?"

"I haven't been… Ben," she felt dumb answering with the awkward grammar. It didn't help he was correct.

Leaning on her desk, "Sunday… you said you were sick. Fast recovery by the way," he mumbled. He waited, but no response was offered. "No answer Monday, and today," he sighed, "Today, I raised my hand seven times in your class." Her feelings still in chaos about Ben and Andrew, especially Andy's question, she stayed silent.

"Now I find out you're dating some Ken dude?"

"I know, I know," she paused with a whimper. "I'm sorry, the boyfriend, it came out Saturday, when I was talking with Jes. She was crying, her love life, blah, blah." She recalled it was her blubbering that night.

Ben got up and stood in the doorway, "Couldn't you come up with a name that wasn't so close to mine?"

She didn't like being criticized. "I panicked ok? Do you have a better name?" She returned to marking her papers.

"I don't know… Jeff is a pretty good name," he leaned his head back to look down the hallway. Oh my God he thought as he saw Debra come around the corner from the elevators. He swiftly moved into the office, shut the door, and locked it.

"What?"

He put his finger on his lips, "Debra." Monica's eyes widened. She remembered Debra saying she would come by her office the other evening at the nightclub. They both waited quietly until the inevitable knock at the door. There was only one more knock before Debra realized Ms. Young's office hours were over and gave up. Ben looked at Monica and they both laughed. "So please tell me we can be together today… tonight?"

She sighed because she wanted to be with him just as badly. "I'm waiting for the Dean of Language Arts to call. If you can entertain yourself till then and let me correct a few papers, well… I'm all yours."

"Oh thank you, thank you. I'll be good," he excitedly pledged. Monica made good headway on the papers, almost finishing after 25 minutes. Ben had paced around the office for awhile and often stared out the window at the back of the office. After his fifth paper cup of water he couldn't take the waiting anymore.

He moved behind her and leaned down bracing himself with one hand on her desk. Monica instantly sensed he was behind her and she eyed his large hand. She was surprised he had been so patient. Monica was getting tired of waiting for the phone call too. He began stroking her hair on her left side enjoying the fragrance she wore today. She didn't say anything, she just continued to correct papers, but her concentration was shot the second he touched her. He pulled her hair away exposing her left ear.

"Ben?"

"Yes Professor?" he couldn't help giggling.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Just as you asked. I'm entertaining myself."

"Ben please," she begged weakly he stop, "We can't here."

"You'll have to beg much harder than that Professor," he breathed heavily on her ear.

"Oh God please stop that," she said passionately with closed eyes. "Stop calling me Professor, I hate it."

"You love it."

"I know; I still can't believe I'm a college professor," she kept her eyes closed as he rubbed his nose against her ear. He pulled her lush hair further so he could kiss her neck. He placed his lips against the back of her neck and caressed her soft skin. She just relaxed as he did this and gave up on correcting papers.

He began massaging her neck, "Monica do you know how good you taste?"

"No," her nervous excitement kept her from giggling.

"Like sin."

She raised her head and slowly turned in her chair as Ben backed up and leaned against Jesse's desk. "Have you been reading romance novels or something?"

"No. Maybe some poetry," he said a little embarrassed.

"For me?" she asked a bit surprised.

"Well yeah, I'd do anything for you."

"You hate poetry Ben."

"I know, but I wouldn't mind some tutoring, or extra credit."

Monica blushed and looked down at the floor. "Ok Ben, why don't you go home, and I'll give you a call when I get to my place."

"No way," he said with certainty. He walked to the back of the office to look out the window. "I haven't seen you since Saturday and I'm starting to lose it to be honest. I'd rather be bored with you than bored without you." He turned to face her, "I thought you said any minute. It's been 30."

"I know," she looked at the phone on her desk. "I'm bored too."

He smiled, "Well how about we make the best out of it?" He walked towards her with a huge grin. Monica knew what he meant and she wasn't against fooling around, but she was worried about doing it in her office. It was unlikely anyone would try to enter now, but not impossible. She expected him to grab her, or something along those lines, but instead he passed by and began inspecting her desk. He started pushing down on the large wooden desk testing its sturdiness. Next he began moving things around making a clear spot. She smiled getting his point, "Ben you're disorganizing my desk."

He laughed, "This is organized?" Her desk was badly cluttered with paper, but it wouldn't take long to tidy up. "I mean at least get rid of the old coffee cups." She rolled her eyes as he dumped three paper cups into the trashcan. "You've never told me whose desk is down there?"

Monica turned around looking at the third desk just behind Jesse's. "Yes. Well that's because Professor Farnsworth is well," she turned around to face him. "A real serious pain in the ass." He paused with her quick hostility. "She's been at the Tacoma campus since the semester started. She is supposed to return any day now."

He laughed as he finished up clearing her desk. "So you two aren't friends?"

"No we're not."

Ben chuckled, "So what does she teach?"

Barbra Farnsworth she thought to herself, so nosey, a gossip monger, and a total kiss ass with the Dean. Professor Farnsworth was in her early 50's, and in rather good shape. Monica thought about Barbara dying her hair, but leaving in just enough gray to keep it believable. Jesse despised Farnsworth while at times Monica admired the battle harden veteran of college academia. Monica loved structure, discipline, and decisiveness, possibly because she lacked those traits. "Uh, for some reason I actually remember. Operations management; talk about exciting," she rolled her eyes.

She looked over her desk as she pushed her hair behind her ears. "Good job Ben." Sitting in her chair he rolled under the desk, admiring his cleaning capabilities. Monica leaned her short frame against the edge trying to be seductive. He watched as she batted her eyes, showing off her lovely lashes, while slowly stroking her tongue across her glossy lips. After all she was bored as well why not torture Ben while she had the chance. Each time Ben attempted to speak Monica would interrupt with body language.

"Uh…" he moaned. She unbuttoned the top button of her white blouse, staring at him. She heard his suffering despite his attempt to hide it.

He tried again to speak as she rested her tight rear, she looked behind, monitoring his reaction. Again she interrupted him, pulling her black skirt up a bit. "So Ben? Should I just slide my ass up…" his teacher slowly demonstrated, "and across the desk?" He was speechless feeling his body responding. "Mind if I lean back," she rested on her elbows with one knee bent up, and her head laid back, hair dragging over his hands.

"Uh, yeah that's good," he barely got the words out. "There's not much ventilation in this office is there?" He gazed directly below, her neck being offered, blouse unbuttoned further.

"Another scorcher," she whispered. Monica was completely at ease while Ben was rapidly coming apart. This was her favorite position: total control. She raised her head and flicked her hair. Staring at him, "Humid too," she grabbed an index card and fanned herself.

He nervously grinned, "We're not talking about the weather are we?" With a big smile she slowly shook her head, no. "We're talking about you?" Still beaming she nodded, yes. He gulped, surprised how nervous he was.

The silence seemed to go on forever as she stared at the clock up high. "You are hard correct?"

He blushed, "Yes, yes, of course…"

She giggled, raising a leg in the air, "Ah, I love torturing you." She rolled to him, caressing his cheek, and eying his lips. "So what's next?"

"God you looked great in class today," Ben looked her over. He took her hand as Monica spun to face him.

Leaning back on her hands she wondered out loud, "So what got your attention?"

Studying her for a moment, "Three inch heels?"

"Four."

He grinned, "I apologize. Black too… impressive."

"Thank you."

He moved his hands up her thighs and pulled her to him forcing her legs wide. "God, the things I imagined doing to you."

"What about my lecture?"

"Huh? Right, oh really good… again."

"Are you saying you missed another one of my lectures?" She glared at him.

For a moment Ben took her seriously. "Stop already," he lunged forward forcing her on her back. She howled as he attacked the soft skin of her neck and chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure it was an excellent lecture," he said in a strained tone.

Her arms slipped around his neck. Monica was completely ready for him and worked her lips on his. Between their open mouth dance, "Shut up Ben… yes… you're getting an A+." The couple kissed, and fondled at a lustful, greedy, even a primal level, both remembering they hadn't spoken since Saturday night.

After several minutes he gasped for air. Monica turned her head for fresh air as well. Ben just stared into her brown eyes as she breathed. He gently stroked her hair. "We're ok right?"

She was surprised at that question. "Yes, why do you ask?"

"Well I know you said Jesse had problems, but it just seems…"

She placed her finger on his lips to quiet him. "We're good Ben. I'm happy and all I want now is to lose myself with you." She removed her finger and they began kissing again. She knew what he was about to say, that she was avoiding him for some reason. Monica didn't want to think about Andrew. "Please tell me you brought some protection," she asked huffing and puffing.

"Oh yeah, don't worry."

"Ok, one other thing Ben," she frowned when she said it.

"Yeah, anything," he barely got the words out breathing heavily.

"This desk? It is incredibly uncomfortable. Do you mind if we...," she rolled her eyes embarrassed. "Well can we do it somewhere else?"

He smiled and caressed her cheek, "Anything you want." Ben looked around wondering where they could lay down. He rolled backwards in Monica's chair to think.

She giggled, "That could work." He looked around trying to figure out what she meant. "What?" His professor took the step and a half to him and climbed up, resting on his lap.

"Oh, yeah… this is nice." She placed her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer to him.

"Condom?" she whispered as he felt her hot breath on him.

"Oh, yeah," he struggled a little bit trying to pull it out of his pocket while Monica kissed his neck. "Here," he handed it to her. It wasn't long before Ben tugged on her blouse pulling part of it from under her skirt. She smiled at him dimples and all and tore open the packet with her teeth then began unbuttoning her blouse. Ben quickly pulled his t-shirt off and assisted Monica with her's. He soon had his lips on her chest feeling up her bra with his hand. They both jumped as the phone rang.

Ben immediately sighed and lowered his head in disappointment, "Crap."

Monica frowned as she stood, and leaned against Ben to grab the phone behind him. "Hello?" Ben decided to entertain himself by sliding his hands up her skirt fondling her thighs. She tried not to laugh, "Yes, I'll hold." She tried to fend him off with her free hand, but that was impossible. "Stop it," she begged in a hushed voice while laughing. He grabbed at her panties, "Ok, ok, Ben." He began sliding her underwear down her legs, "You're going to have to let me talk to the Dean when she gets on the line. I can't believe we're doing this now," she whispered as she stepped out of her underwear. She sat back down on Ben's lap and excitedly kissed him. Monica suddenly broke away and placed her hand on Ben's mouth. "Yes I'm here," she answered to the university operator. "Dean Murrow won't be calling?" Ben pulled Monica's hand off his mouth and silently mimicked a shout of glee. "Oh, yes, put the call through," she mouthed 'sorry'. He began kissing her neck and pawed at her white lacey bra.

Monica had her eyes closed as Ben touched her, but they opened wide as soon as she heard the familiar voice. "How did you find out where I work?" Ben could hear the hostile tone in her voice and leaned away to observe. "What do want from me mother?" Ben's jaw dropped once he heard that Alice Richards was on the line. He had almost forgotten about meeting her at his parent's home. What if Alice told Monica she met him? He had to tell Monica himself, it had to come from him. He was a dead man either way, at least she would respect that he told her.

"Well Monica we haven't talked for sometime and I felt…"

"Mother you don't have feelings just demands." She stood up and began pacing about.

"Monica Faye Young," Alice raised her voice as she flicked an ash from her cigarette. "You may not like me, but I gave birth to you, and you will God damn well respect me."

She felt like a nine year old girl being scolded for breaking a dish. Monica calmly replied, "Yes mother."

"I understand you were living in Denver?"

"How do you know that?"

"How was Jacob," Alice just brushed off her daughter's question to ask her own.

Monica sighed, "Yes I saw daddy a few times," she spoke weakly. Ben got up pretending not to pay attention, but he was completely riveted by their conversation.

"Did the son-of-bitch ask about me?"

Monica closed her eyes thinking about her parent's constantly exchanging insults. "No he didn't ask about you. Mother I don't have any money if that's what you're fishing for?"

"No, no, my jackpot came in a few years ago."

"Is that right," she sat down looking at Ben sitting on the window ledge. "I haven't flipped on ESPN's World Series of Poker recently so I wouldn't know."

"I gave up the tour."

That shocked Monica, her mother lived for poker. "What do want mother?"

"Lunch, Friday at one. Top floor of the IDX Tower at the fourth avenue plaza."

"Lunch? You and me? Why?"

"I think you may need my help, and I wanted to discuss things."

Monica was confused, "Mother I'm fine and I don't need any of your help…"

"I know why you quit your teaching job and left my home four years ago." Alice just said it bluntly to get Monica on the same page.

Again she was shocked by her mother. How could she know so much when Monica never talked about this subject to anyone? "How! How do you know," she commanded. Ben's palms started sweating as he became nervous while praying that Alice didn't mention him. Monica began buttoning up her blouse as the mood had been totally destroyed now.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Mother I demand to know."

"I'd be happy to tell you, but not over the phone. You never know whose listening."

Monica sighed as she watched Ben put his shirt on. "Fine, Friday at one."

"Goodbye Monica."

Monica didn't say anything and hung up. She just sat there wondering how her mother could possibly know so much. She gave up poker? Why? Her jackpot came in? She wasn't looking forward to the lunch, but she definitely wanted to view this fresh hand Alice had been dealt.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

Monica was in a daze till he spoke, "Oh, yeah. I'm good."

"Are you sure?" He began to walk towards her.

"Yeah. Listen I'm kind out of the mood."

"I understand," he replied disappointed as he put his arms around her.

"How about I take you to my favorite Mexican restaurant, my treat, and then you come back to my place for dessert?" She grinned with glee while rolling her eyes in excitement.

"Sounds like a plan," he said in an upbeat voice which he was faking. He knew he had to tell her tonight about his parents, and meeting her mother.


	22. Episode 5: Completely Confused 5

Lost Love: Episode 5 Completely Confused part 5

Ben and Monica had been at Tito's Mexican Restaurant for about ten minutes when their margaritas arrived. They sat in the bar which was large, but almost empty at the moment. The two sat in a red booth in the corner sipping their drinks and flipping through the menu. "So what do think Ben?"

"What? Oh the drink? Yeah it's great." He continued looking around noticing the large mural on the wall of Aztec warriors playing some kind of ancient sport. On the other side was the bar which was long and clearly stocked with booze. There were only two other customers up there with the bar tender watching one of three TV's displaying sports or news. "You come here often?" She nodded yes while smiling. Ben was surprised how up beat she was after talking with her mother.

Monica flagged down the waitress, "Can I get a shot of Xalixco Gold?"

The waitress looked at Ben, "Uh, yeah make that two." Confused, he leaned forward, "Monica, what did I just order?"

"Tequila."

"Really? I didn't realize you drank it." A few drinks in her might make things go a bit smoother he thought.

She giggled. "I'm just in a good mood tonight. Odd though… my mother calling. Usually a mood killer." Sucking on a lime she giggled, "Even a bad mood."

"Yeah," he agreed with guilt while taking a sip.

"How did she know I went to Denver," she wondered out loud. Monica soon snapped out of her daze realizing Ben had become quiet flipping through his menu. Babe?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry about this afternoon in my office."

"No problem I understand." The waitress dropped off their tequila shots with lime wedge. They ordered their meals while she was there.

"Well I'll make it up to you tonight," she batted her eyes. Ben grinned. She moved closer to him and slowly picked up his hand never taking her eyes off him. With a corn chip, dripping with salsa, Monica painted his palm. He cringed with its chilly temperature.

"Monica? As good as this feels what are you doing?"

"Getting you ready to help me with my drink. I've got to put the salt somewhere right?"

"Oh? Ok," he smiled. She tongued his palm and poured on the salt. His teacher handed him the lime wedge and she pulled the shot glass close to her. Monica lifted his hand and began sucking the salt off, but took her time removing it. Ben just watched her, enjoying her soft lips working his hand. "Oh Monica I never knew this could be so much fun." She giggled and then upped her tequila shot. She couldn't help but make a face from the strong flavor. Ben moved the wedge so she could suck on it. He was awed with her aggressiveness tonight. Ben began to organize his shot, lime, and the salt shaker.

Monica leaned back against the red booth, "Oh my God. The last time I did that I was in college."

"Well I've never done this. Thank you for teaching me Professor."

"You've never done shots?"

"Yes, but not quite this way." A beautiful woman sucking on my hand he noted to himself. "Ok. We can experiment?"

"Sure," she answered with some suspicion.

"You'll assist me," he asked grinning.

"Yes," she was getting annoyed with the waiting.

He positioned his finger close to her luscious lips, but took her a second to figure out what he meant. The bartender had already watched Monica's hand sucking he had to see what Ben came up with. He inserted his finger into her mouth and Monica got the idea to thoroughly bath his finger with her tongue. After 30 seconds he pulled it out and began brushing the salt crystals from his margarita glass onto his finger.

He turned towards her with his finger in the air. "And where do you think you're putting that Ben Conner?" They both laughed at their dirty little minds.

Ben moved close to her, "Don't move."

"What are you doing," she rolled her eyes while smiling and revealing her dimples.

"Don't talk. Lick your lips." She complied and he began brushing her lips with salt. It took Monica half a second to figure out how she would be assisting him. Ben said he'd never done shots like this, but he was a fast learner. He positioned his shot glass and handed Monica the lime wedge. Ben looked at her for a moment seeing her lips laced with salt crystals. "You're amazing." She blushed and batted her eyes.

He waited a few seconds and then kissed her full on the lips, tasting her and the salt. Ben took his time, delighted to keep the kiss long, slow, and steamy, going on for almost a full minute. Finally Monica pulled up the shot glass and poured it down Ben's mouth. She then moved the lime helping him suck on it. When they finally finished they were both worn out. The margaritas from earlier had kicked in plus their short separation had made everything intense.

The waitress served the enchiladas, dripping with cheese, verde sauce, guacamole, and sour cream. Ben ordered a beer while Monica immediately began cutting into her food. As they ate, smiling at each other ever so often, Ben decided he better just get it over with. "I have something to tell you." Monica noticed from his demeanor this was something serious. She didn't answer she just continued to eat, but stayed focused on him. He sighed as the waitress placed the beer bottle and glass next to his large plate. "The little meeting my parents had Thursday?"

"Yes."

"They had a few guests." He started pouring the beer into the glass.

Confused she asked, "Not family?"

"Um, well more family than I…,"

"I don't understand," she interrupted. "Why didn't you mention this before?"

"I didn't think it was important."

"Well I don't appreciate some conspiracy group psychoanalyzing me." She began to sound more like Ms. Young than Monica.

"It wasn't like that…"

"Then what was it like Ben?"

He had barely started and was already in big trouble. "I was only there five minutes when Sam showed up." Monica was quickly humbled by the revelation. There was still a ton of guilt about that subject, and always would be.

Monica looked down and played with her food. "How is your bother," she asked with a weak voice.

"He's good," Ben took a bite of food. Neither looked at each other, remembering their bizarre conversation that night in Ben's home.

"Can I ask why Sam was there?"

"Andrew mentioned you dated him at the restaurant. So my parents' wanted to know what was going on."

"Oh my God you're kidding me?" She rubbed the side of her temples.

"Don't worry. I had him say you dated once. You were nice and that was it."

"So your parents don't know… don't know how reckless I was?"

"No."

"Thank you," she grabbed his hand and squeezed it as her eyes moisten a little.

Ben decided to push onto her mother and get it over with. "I met Alice."

"Excuse me?"

"Your mother. Alice Richards."

She pulled her hand back, sinking into the booth. "Where? Richards?"

"My parents invited her…"

"Why Ben," she asked impatiently.

"They wanted some insight they said. Believe me I was as stunned as you are. Worse even."

She looked down picking at her food, "How did she look?"

"I thought pretty good. Chain smoking though. You should have seen it when she lit up in my mother's living room. She even used my mother's wineglass as an ashtray."

With zero emotion, "That sounds like mother. Alice I mean, she has the manners of a pirate. You said Richards?"

"She married a few years ago."

That fact blew Monica away. She stared off thinking about her mother remarrying. She never thought there was a man crazy enough to fall in love with Alice Young. "Who did she marry?"

"Some lawyer in the city. Robert Richards."

She knew that name, "Robert Richards? The guy that took on Microsoft on behalf of Netscape?" Ben shrugged his shoulders. "Read a paper once in awhile. You don't take on Microsoft in their home state like he did and survive professionally." Leaning back trance-like, "Mother really did hit the jackpot."

"So he's rich?"

"Yes," she answered eyebrows raised.

"Well she had a nice car, and a driver," he took a bite of food.

This reminded her of the meeting and her anger began to replace her curiosity. "So Ben what else have you neglected to tell me? Just what did my mother say? This is obviously why she called me," she threw her hands in the air out of frustration.

He sighed, dreading the interrogation. "She gave us some back ground on your childhood. Your relationship with her… your father - Jacob."

"God damn it," she slammed her fist on the table. Ben was taken a back by her reaction. "Does she know about you and I? High school?"

"Yes. She wanted to know how we got together, and broke up."

This was one of Monica's most dire fears. Her mother was always disapproving of her. Daughter never seemed to impress mother, and Alice made sport of it. All the old childhood feelings came back. The rage returned, and focused on Ben. "Why?"

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to bother you with it."

"Ben you basically lied to me."

"I didn't lie to you. Besides it is over," he was getting annoyed with her accusations.

"I don't appreciate people discussing my life and making decisions for me, like I'm some sick patient." Ben continued to eat and tried to tune her out. He decided not to mention Mr. Miller or his mother's conditions right now. He thought if he did tell she'd lunge across the table and stab him with her fork. "Why do find something that hurt me so trivial?"

"I don't," he desperately tried to explain. "Monica…"

"You of all people know I have parental issues, and trust issues. You hit me with both in one conversation," she declared. "How can we have a relationship if you can't tell me something like this?"

"Now, I'm telling you now."

She gave him a classic Ms. Young glare. "You're afraid Alice would tell me about the meeting." He sighed and continued to eat knowing she was correct. It suddenly dawned on her why he never said anything. "Sex," she blurted.

Confused he asked, "Yeah, what about it?"

"Friday night? You knew if I found out my mother was there I would be upset and you'd miss out on your sex." He was insulted but it was partly true he thought. It wasn't the main reason as he had no idea he'd end up making love with Monica one time let alone three times that night. She searched through her purse and pulled out a compact. She began inspecting her makeup, "Why does this remind me of four years ago?"

This sounded bad he thought, "What?"

"Yes, you getting what you want, and I getting tossed away. It sounds like my father now that I think about it." He didn't get what she was saying. He so wished he had told her earlier.

"I would never withhold information from you just so I could get up your skirt."

"You're a guy Ben. I've had my share of disfunctional relationships and you all think the same way." She looked back down at her mirror.

"If you're trying to hurt me it's working." She didn't respond. "Monica?" She stopped applying lip gloss and looked up. "I said I was sorry," he paused for a second, "I'm not going anywhere."

"You're incredible… you've used that pick-up line before." Ben honestly didn't remember, till now, homecoming. She packed up her purse and began sliding around to exit the booth. "Thank you for ruining a perfect dinner. If you don't watch it dessert is off if you get my drift."

As she was to pass him on her way to the restroom he asked, "Monica aren't you going a bit overboard?" He regretted it the second he said it. His question sounded like something Alice would chant. Drama queen her mother labeled her.

She lost it. "Overboard? Are you kidding me," she shouted. Grabbing his mostly full glass of beer, Monica threw the liquid in his face instantly drenching him. She slammed the glass down which tipped over while Ben sprayed out beer that entered his mouth. "You pay for the God damn dinner," she yelled and stormed off out of the restaurant. He wiped his eyes with his hands and then grabbed the few napkins at the table.

The waitress ran over with a towel, "Thank you," he said. "Can I get the check?" He dried off as best he could. A customer entered through the back door that Monica exited through. Ben turned to look hoping it was Monica returning. He spotted her outside as the door fought the ally daft, but it was a view of her racing by in her car. "Son-of-bitch she left me," he whispered.

"Here's the bill senor," she handed it to him and then cleared the plates.

He looked it over, and became worried. Ben knew he had 32 dollars and the bill not including tax and tip was 39.77, "Crap."

"Is there a problem amigo?" Ben was startled not realizing the stocky bartender was right next to his table. "Spicy chica eh," he chuckled as he scratched his dark mustache. He looked to be in his mid 40's with balding hair, but still dark colored hair.

"Yeah I guess you could say that. Listen I've got a problem."

"Was there something wrong with the food amigo?"

"No, no, everything was great." He sighed, "I'm just short some cash."

The bartender's jolly demeanor immediately turned to one of worry. "Not good amigo."

"I know. I'll go home and come back with the what, 15 or 20 bucks," he pointed to the bill.

"I'll have to ask the owner?"

"Of course," Ben handed him the cash and the check.

Ben watched the bartender walk behind the bar and converse with a giant of a man he hadn't seen earlier. The guy was possibly 6'4" 285 pounds. He had a thick head of dark hair closely trimmed at the sides and a wild mustache. He wore a white short sleeve dress shirt which allowed for his well developed forearms, riddled with tattoos to be displayed. Ben saw the giant, take a gaze, in his direction as the bartender pointed. Ben stood up but stayed by the table as he watched the man approach caring a large toilet plunger. His palms began to sweat as his knees weakened and he even became a tad nauseated. Oh my God he said to himself as he thought about the lead story for the 11:00 news tonight. Local college student, abandoned by girlfriend, and beaten to death with toilet plunger in cheap Mexican restaurant. What a pathetic way to go out.

"You can't pay," he asked in a gruff voice.

"I can pay just not now."

"Then you work now amigo. Tres hours." Ben didn't know what to say. The man handed him the plunger, "Numero uno y numero tres are backed up in the chico's room. Wash'em down, y unclog. Si?"

Something told him he better do this, "Si."

.

.

Ben was depressed this Thursday afternoon as Monica was still pissed at him from Tuesday's dinner. In today's class Monica simply refused to call on him. She hadn't answered any of his voicemails, or email messages. He so desperately wanted to walk up to her office and beg for forgiveness. Instead he walked to the athletic center to help Katie clean out her locker. Monica and her baggage was one thing, but Katie's was a whole another story. She was probably needier than Monica, but didn't have to always be in control. Katie needing him was kind of a turn-on, like he was some kind of hero. They had instant messaged each other just last night and ended up chatting for three hours. He had fun since they had a lot in common. Katie liked alternative rock, Monica didn't. Katie liked sports, Monica didn't. Katie liked action movies, and while Monica said she did in reality it wasn't true. In the end though Ben thought he loved Monica.

As Ben approached the center he spotted Katie on a bench with her bags and crutches. "Hey," she said with a bright smile. As usual she looked great wearing a white, short sleeve shirt, form fitting which pleased him, and green athletic shorts. He couldn't help admire her lovely tan, and well toned thighs. The black brace on her left knee was obviously noticeable. She took off her sunglasses as Ben sat down. Subtly she looked him over as he had done to her. He looked good in his black t-shirt, jeans, and sand colored boots.

"It's such a nice day. We'll have to get you into some shorts," she giggled.

He laughed as well, "I don't think I'd look as good as you Katie." Oh that compliment felt so good, and placed her hand on his knee. They both thought about how nice the touching felt. She could leave her hand there all day she thought. Ben tried to focus as soon as he could, "So what are you doing out here?"

"I'm packed up."

"Already," he asked with surprise.

"Yep," she pointed to the dark blue backpack, and pink carrying bag.

"Oh, ok. Do you need a ride home?"

She frowned, "Yes if you don't mind?"

"No not at all," he stood up to collect her bags.

"Ben," she asked in a guilty voice.

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind going to the campus food court? I'm starved and haven't eaten since 10:00am."

"Uh, no. I'm kind of hungry myself."

"Oh thank you." She replaced her sunglasses and got on her crutches while Ben picked up her bags. They talked and laughed as they walked to the food court. It took about 15 minutes to get there. Katie was slow with her injury and she did have to deal with several stairs along the way. When they finally got there Ben found them a clean table and helped elevate her leg on a chair.

He witnessed her grimace many times with the pain from her knee. "You have pain pills correct?"

"Yes I do." She didn't like taking the pain pills because they made her tired. She fell asleep in yesterday's calculus class – she was totally embarrassed. The movement across part of the campus had taken its toll and she was going to pop a painkiller. "I'll take one but I have to eat first."

"No problem. What do you feel like?"

While a little self conscience about it she looked around. With some guilt she ordered, "A chilidog with extra cheese. Oh, can you get some hot sauce packets and a Diet Coke?"

He wanted to laugh out loud with this young beauty's appetite. Instead he kept quiet and decided to order the same thing for himself. He didn't wait in line very long, and decided to check on Dino. As he approached the taco booth he could see Dino being cussed out by his boss Ferguson. Ben was surprised Dino hadn't quit that job yet as his boss was totally nuts. He saw Ben as they acknowledge each other and he decided to continue on back to Katie.

She was smiling as Ben came up to the table, and placed the tray down. "How are you feeling?"

"Yeah, ok."

Katie kept taking peaks at Ben while she ate and sipped on her soda. She had become so attracted to him not just for his good looks, but everything he had done for her.

After awhile he noticed her staring at him and finally looked at her. "Is my hair on fire," he laughed.

"No. I'm sorry for staring." She looked down a little embarrassed, "I'm just going to say it." She looked up, "I think you're the hottest guy I've ever met, and the nicest." He just froze after his jaw dropped. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wasn't sure whether this was a dream come true or a nightmare. Why now? Where was Katie a month ago, or a year ago? This was totally unfair he thought, girls never talked to him like this. That was it as far as he was concerned. He couldn't drag this out any longer and continue to string her along even if it was designed to protect her. He regretted not telling Monica everything about Sam, and her mother. He still had no idea how to explain the rest about Mr. Miller and his mother's conditions. Monica was going to kill him. He even thought he might lose her for good something he couldn't bear to imagine.

"Uh, thank you Katie," he couldn't help blush at her compliment.

She placed her hand on his, "It's true Ben. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up," she delightedly explained.

"Hello Ben," a female voice from the other side said.

He turned to his right to see Jesse. "Oh, hello Professor Moreau."

"It's Jesse. Please stop calling me Professor. Monica does it because she knows I hate it." No matter how many times he saw Jesse he was amazed how similar to Monica she looked. Unlike Monica who dressed professionally for her job Jesse was casually dressed as usual. She wore a light blue t-shirt with khaki cargo pants and black shoes with thick soles. "So are you two having a late lunch," she asked as she removed the light blue Nike ball cap from her head. He didn't answer as he was mesmerized by her hair in braided pigtails. Ben thought she looked more like a student than a teacher. "Ben?"

"Oh, yeah sorry. Uh, late lunch yeah." He realized he hadn't introduced Katie and both women were waiting for him to do so. He really just wanted to run up to Monica's office and make love to her, but he was just going to have to get through this. "This is Katie. Katie this is Jesse an instructor here."

"Oh so this is your girlfriend," Jesse smiled at her and put her hand out to shake. Katie couldn't believe what she had just said – girlfriend – oh my God she thought. Ben knew that was going to happen as he had rambled on about Katie to Jesse in Monica's office. He was trapped now and there was nothing he could do. "Ben has told me a lot about you. I'm sorry about your injury he was so worried about you the other day." Jesse thought she was scoring points for Ben and that was the problem she was. He wanted to scream out loud so badly, but he just calmly sat there praying this would end soon. Katie wanted to scream out loud for joy as she realized Ben did have care for her. "Well I'll leave you two love-birds alone. I'm just picking up some Mexican food."

"Professor, I mean Jesse," Katie corrected herself.

"Yes."

"What do you teach?"

"Literature."

"Oh really I have to take two literature classes. I'd love to take your class, you seem so nice."

Jesse gave a bright smile showing off her dimples with that compliment. "Well thank you that's very nice of you to say. Ben you're very lucky to have Katie as a girlfriend." Oh God please shut up he thought. "Listen Katie why don't you come by my office; 707 in the Arts & Education building, and we can talk about it."

"I'd love to," she happily replied. Great one more person he would have to dodge around Monica's office.

"Ok, talk to you two later." Ben and Katie said goodbye in unison as she walked off. Ben started eating hoping he wouldn't have to explain to Katie why he said all those things about her.

She was totally staring at him with excited eyes. "Do you really consider me your girlfriend?" He continued to chew trying to figure out what to say. He had to tell her no this couldn't continue any longer. It was going to break her heart when he told her they could only be friends.

He sighed and wiped his mouth. "Katie…"

"Ben I've been meaning to ask you something. I think I've finally built up the nerve," she eagerly explained. "I've thought about this since I met you and after our chat last night I bought tickets to the homecoming dance in a few weeks." She paused for a few seconds to compose herself. He desperately wanted to interrupt her, but he just froze. "The first dance I was asked out to was a high school homecoming dance my sophomore year. My parents were still alive and very happy for me. Dean Williams asked me to go and was picking me up at 6:00pm." Ben knew it was bad when her voice became emotional. She looked down at her food, "He never showed up."

"Why?"

"I never found out. I don't care now anyway." She placed her hand on his, "I was hoping you would take me because I know you wouldn't let me down."

What now he thought to himself as his resolve was severally weakened with the short story. She already bought the tickets too. "You two make such a great couple," Jesse said as she walked by with her food. "I'll tell Monica I saw you Ben. Nice meeting you Katie," she continued out through the exit. Please don't say anything to Monica he thought.

"So what do you think Ben," she cheerfully asked.

He looked at her and simply didn't have the heart to turn her down. How was he going to explain to Monica he was taking another red hot school girl to another homecoming dance?

.

.

Monica sat at her desk trying to read essays but she wasn't getting very far. There were just too many distractions right now. She was rapidly running out of time with Andrew as she had promised to call him in a few days with a decision. She was nowhere near to a decision to go back to him. She was still upset with Ben, but it took every ounce of strength she had to not call on him in class this afternoon. She missed him and wanted to forgive him, but still couldn't believe he had kept her in the dark like that. She didn't even care why he did it even if it was the sex issue which she didn't really believe. Monica finally threw down her red pen once she began thinking about having lunch with her mother tomorrow. She had no idea what to expect from Alice, but she was fairly sure it wouldn't be a pleasant exchange. Jesse had been breathing down her neck about Ken. Question after question and she wanted to meet him. She braced her head with her hands and sighed exhausted from all her problems. She almost wanted to cry.

"Monica Young?" She instantly recognized that voice as it had been seared into her memory that day four years ago. She immediately looked up wide eyed to see Mr. Miller standing in the doorway. She was simply speechless and all she could think about was how could he have possibly found her. "May I?" Monica nodded yes. She watched him move forward in his dark gray business suit with white shirt and silver tie. Rather than just sit in the chair where it was he moved it in front of her desk away from the left side wall. All Monica could do was nervously wait, and replay their conversation through her head. She knew every single word by heart and she knew why he was here. He had given her a second chance that day, but she was to never teach again. He put his black briefcase on the floor and crossed his legs while placing his hands on his knees. Monica was as nervous as she was that day at Woodrow Wilson – even more so now. She tried to take a sip of water in a coffee mug, but she had to use both her hands since they were shaking. William Miller could see that she was borderline terrified of his presence as he witnessed her lower lip trembling. William wasn't sure how much power he really had over her, but Ms. Young being scared would give him some leverage.

Monica couldn't take the silence anymore which he used to full effect staring at her. "How's Sue," she just blurted out.

Of all questions to ask he thought. "She's fine at Princeton. The professors there are fair." Monica knew exactly what he meant and looked down in shame. William looked around, "So this is your office?"

"Yes."

"So what do you do at UW?"

There was no point in lying he must already know she thought. "I'm an associate professor teaching English 2040, Tuesday's, and Thursday's from 12:00 to 1:50pm." Her tone was weak and words laced with guilt.

He sighed, "So you're teaching," he said in a disappointed voice. She didn't respond she just continued to look down at her desk. Very calmly he spoke, "Well that's a serious problem. I hope you have sometime this afternoon to discuss your limited options?"


	23. Episode 6: New Beginnings 1

Lost Love: Episode 6 New Beginnings

Monica didn't answer Mr. Miller's question if she had time to discuss her limited options. As far as she was concerned she had no options, and her life was about to end. She kept playing the scenario through her head. Mr. Miller would go to the university administration and expose the Woodrow Wilson illicit affair. UW would promptly fire her. How was she going to explain to her mother she lost another teaching job? How would she explain it to her father who paid off her school loans just this year? She would end up being a waitress in some Denny's off the freeway she thought - assuming she didn't go to jail.

"Ms. Young?" Monica snapped out of her daze and focused on him. "If you have anything planned for this afternoon I suggest you cancel those appointments."

"No. I have nothing planned."

"Good." He waited a moment before speaking again. "Professor Young," he sighed. "Why did you do it," he asked with wonderment.

She was confused, "Excuse me?"

"I thought we had an agreement; a rather generous one in my opinion."

"Yes, you're correct," she looked back down at her desk.

"Tell me why you did it? The reason you did the one thing I asked you not to do?"

Teaching she thought to herself that was the deal, no teaching. "I'll be honest with…"

"That would be a refreshing change," he countered.

She looked up from her shame with that comment. Her nervousness was rapidly being replaced with anger. "I love teaching. To be honest I never thought I would be caught."

That was honest he thought. "You're probably right so why Seattle? You had the entire rest of the country," he explained with some disbelief.

It did sound ridiculous that of all places she taught it was here. "It was the only college that offered me a job. I wasn't even supposed to teach this semester."

"You planned to one day though?"

"Yes," she answered with some guilt. "Mr. Miller can we get on with this and just tell me what you're going to do?"

"Fine. You know you can be prosecuted for a sexual assault?"

Monica was upset with that statement and quickly leaned forward. "It was consensual God damn it," she yelled at him.

He was surprised by her outburst, but she was correct. "Statutory rape then whatever you want to call it. You had sex with a minor we all agree on that."

She sat back in her chair realizing she was trapped. Monica's eyes became glossy as they moistened. "Are you going to turn me into the police," she asked with worry.

William knew it would be difficult to turn her in. Ben had stated at his parent's home he would not cooperate with the police in any fashion. A four year old crime without the victim's cooperation would be impossible. William wanted to laugh at that victim thought as Ben seemed too normal if anything. He wasn't sure if she was aware of any of this, but he was hoping she wasn't. He wanted to continue to hold that over her head to pressure her to do the right thing. "Ms. Young I'm feeling rather generous - again. Besides I don't want Ben dragged through some kind of circus trial." Monica was relieved to hear that, but she knew her job was gone. Mr. Miller picked up his briefcase and placed it on her desk. He opened it pulling out some papers. "I want you to quit your job with the university."

Even though she knew that was coming it was shocking to hear. "Mr. Miller," she asked as she moved her coffee mug to the side. "You're a teacher… was there anything else you wanted to do?"

"No I love my job… being and educator," he shifted his position wondering where this was going.

"It's been four years and I never date men younger than me. I have tried so hard to change my life and when it finally all came together," she passionately declared. "Well… this happens," her voice was noticeably sensitive. "Can't we forget about this, and we just get on with our lives?"

He thought about her proposal and it was reasonable on the surface. He couldn't allow her to just defy him though. As he said he loved teaching and she had tarnished the profession, the teacher student trust, and he couldn't just let that go. "Ms. Young? I want to ask you a question and I want you to be fair with your answer."

Monica straightened her posture and answered, "Of course."

"Let's say I was involved with a 16 year old girl. She's impressionable… inexperienced, in everything, and I have total control? She even considers my advice as gospel." Monica looked down at her desk completely ashamed. When he put in those terms it sounded sick to her. Even though she knew it was never like that, and Ben would be the first to acknowledge that, it all sounded strangely perverted. "You may not agree, but do you see where I coming from?"

She looked up, "Yes. I'm not like that though…"

"I'm sorry but I can't take that chance Ms. Young. You've already proven I can't trust you, and that's why I'm here."

"I want you to sign this little summary I've put together about Ben and your relationship."

Monica didn't like this at all. "You mean you want a signed confession?"

"That's correct," he said with no emotion.

She began reading the five page summary, but stopped. "Why?"

He looked up from his briefcase, "Well if you decide to ignore my conditions again I can turn that confession in immediately." He watched her think that over, "That's nonnegotiable."

"What are the conditions?"

"Same as before; you don't teach." He could see this was killing her as she stood to think and trying not to cry. She walked to the back of the office as she flipped through the five page summary. Monica began to wonder how he came up with such a detailed story of their love affair. Behind the tent, their first kiss in her car, why Ben joined the play. Oh God she thought as she read the janitor's storage room, and on and on it went. She turned to face him and was about to ask when he spoke. "Can you tell me why you threw your life away?"

She didn't expect that question and her expression revealed that. "I'm sorry I don't understand."

"Why did you get involved with Ben? Sure he's a good looking kid, but you're an attractive woman. I'm sure you could find a handsome man your age."

She had asked herself that very question so many times, especially when she was in Denver. Monica had never come up with an answer. There was something about Ben, a connection she couldn't explain, only feel. She blurted out an answer that sounded good, "I have found a man my age."

"Oh… well congratulations. I'm glad to see you've moved on." He just now recalled Ben mentioning something about her having a boyfriend. A good sign he felt. Monica was surprised she just said that. She still had no idea what to tell Andrew. She wondered if she had just made her decision to go back to him. She would probably call him tonight when she got home and at least start a dialogue with him. "Ms. Young?" She came out of her daze and looked at him. "Do we have a deal?"

She needed time to think this over, "No." William, surprised raised his eyebrows at that answer. "I mean can I have a few days to think this over?"

"Ms. Young I don't think the outcome…"

"Please," she begged him.

He sat there wondering why this had to be dragged out. He finally decided to give her the time. "I'll need a decision by Monday?"

"Thank you," she excitedly answered.

He stood and buttoned his dark gray jacket. He shut his briefcase and prepared to leave. They looked at each other realizing there wasn't anything else to say. Both thought the situation was a said one and William was surprised that he felt sorry for her. He turned to leave, "Mr. Miller?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask how you obtained all these details in your summary?"

"Well Ben of course," he was surprised she didn't know they had talked.

"I'm confused. When did this meeting happen?" She walked to her desk and sat somewhat in a daze stunned Ben had contacted him.

"At the Conner's home a couple weeks ago. A Thursday I believe. I met your mother… an interesting woman." He could see the shock on her face, "No one told you?" She looked down at her desk on the brink of tears realizing Ben had lied again. She gently shook her head to indicate she did not know. "I'm sorry I thought someone would have told you." He wanted to help but he had no idea what to do with this poor woman. He turned and left through the entrance.

He walked out just as Jesse tried to enter. "Hello," she happily said holding her Mexican food. William did a double take as she past, amazed by her resemblance to Ms. Young.

"Hey babe," Jesse said with glee and walked past Monica's desk to her own. She wasn't sure why she was in such a good mood today, but she was. "Monica you have to check out this junior at El Loco Taco." She began preparing her desk for lunch. "He looks like a young Tom Cruise; I mean really young. Oh to be 20 again." She paused for a second trying to remember his name, "Dino I think it was." Monica rolled her eyes aware of whom she was talking about. She quickly returned to Ben and his lies. She was even thinking betrayal now. How could he keep doing this to her she wondered. This is not how a man is supposed to treat a woman in a relationship. Who else was at this meeting she speculated. Her father Jacob, Alice's new husband Robert Richards, or Sue maybe? "Guess who I saw down at the food court," Jesse asked as she began eating.

Monica quietly replied not really interested, "Who?"

"Ben."

She was now very interested but didn't turn around to face her friend "Ben Conner?"

Jesse thought for a second but didn't know his last name. "Your student that's in here all the time," she finished with a suspicious voice. She continued to eat suddenly dripping hot cheese on her light blue shirt. "Oh crap" she whined. "I just bought this," she hurried over to the water cooler in the back. As she tried to salvage the shirt, "You know honey; I was so sure you and Ben had a thing going," she laughed.

Monica knew that but Jesse seemed to be saying it wasn't true now. "And you don't believe that now?"

"Well no. I just met his girlfriend and they seemed to be having a rather intense conversation, if you know what I mean. She's gorgeous and so nice; wants to take one of my classes. She might come by the office."

Monica couldn't believe what she was hearing. She thought having to quit her beloved job was as bad as it could get. Now her beloved man was basically seeing another woman. Don't jump to conclusions she said to herself. Talk to Ben before you make some drastic counter move that ruins everything. Maybe this Katie girl was the reason he was constantly lying to her. She no longer knew what to think. "Katie correct?"

Jesse looked up, "Yeah that's right."

"What does she look like," Monica wasn't sure if she really wanted to hear this answer.

Jesse tore open a hot sauce packet which shot across her keyboard. "Shit," she moaned and began wiping up. "Oh, she's blond, shoulder length, blue eyed, athletic body, basically any guy would want her, even a few gay guys," she laughed. "Believe me you'll know who she is when she shows up here."

Monica started crying and let out a small whimper as she placed her head in her hands. Jesse heard it and quickly looked while chewing her food. She wondered what the hell just happened as they were just laughing. She stood up ripping off her light blue ball cap further revealing her braided pigtails. "Honey," she questioned with while walking up behind Monica's chair. "Why are you crying? I thought we were gossiping."

Monica turned around to face her friend. Jesse immediately pushed Monica's hair out of her face. In a frantic voice she said, "Jesse I am in so much trouble."

She realized this was serious and got on one knee to comfort her friend. "What kind of trouble? Andrew?"

"No… and yes," she answered still tearing.

Jesse was confused but continued to ask questions. "Monica please…" she closed her eyes as she asked, "Tell me you're not pregnant?"

"No, I'm not," she almost laughed at the ridiculousness of that question.

"Is it this new guy? This Ken son-of-bitch?"

"No. It's me."

Jesse wanted to help her friend as she looked up at her, but she simply didn't know what was going on. "Monica, I'm here… you just have to tell me ok. I'll do whatever I can for you. Money, organ transplant, whatever you need."

Monica smiled as she wiped the tears from her cheek, "I know thank you," she nodded her head.

"I'm sorry… am I interrupting something," a voice at the entrance asked.

The two friends looked over seeing it was Professor Barbara Farnsworth. Jesse quickly answered in a harsh tone, "Yes."

Monica got up and grabbed her purse off her desk. "It's not your fault Barbara," she said emotionally as she exited the office.

Jesse sighed and stood staring up at the ceiling in frustration. Barbara walked by with her box of office items. She had returned from the Tacoma campus yesterday and was still unpacking her things. Barbara didn't feel comfortable in this office knowing the two girls, as she thought of them, were very close. She felt somewhat like an outsider sitting at her own desk. The two girls were roughly her own daughter's age and they often reminded Barbara of her Suzanne. Unfortunately her relationship with her daughter was as good as her relationship with Jesse. They were guaranteed to have hostile words at least once a day. Monica was much more reasonable and respectful of her. She knew that wouldn't last forever as Monica hadn't been here long. "So is Monica ok," she asked while she placed a few things in her desk.

Jesse walked to her desk, "I'm not giving you any gossip Barbara." Jesse began wrapping what she hadn't eaten. She was too worried about what Monica said. 'I am in such big trouble'. What the hell had she gotten herself into?

"Jesse dear I don't appreciate your accusation that I gossip," she said irritated.

Jesse headed for the exit, "Accusation? It's a fact dear. I always see you reading those damn tabloid rags at lunch." It was true that she read the tabloids, but only because they made her laugh rather than her searching for serious news.

She was a little embarrassed about that and couldn't help herself. "Jesse?" She stopped in the doorway and turned around to face Barbara. "You and Monica? I know you're close, but is there a sexual…"

With a raised voice she swiftly interrupted, "You finish that sentence and I'll come over there and slap that smirk off your God damn face Barbara." Jesse cussed out Barbara many times and Barbara had done the same. Never had there been a threat of violence. This was more than guy trouble Barbara thought. They stared at each other for several moments when Jesse finally left to find her friend.


End file.
